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One year on, all ok but a day of rememberence

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by SallyPotter, Mar 20, 2015.

  1. SallyPotter

    SallyPotter Registered User

    May 19, 2013
    161
    Gloucestershire
    Hi, a year ago today at 3am my mother died, I awoke at that time last night and it felt right to be awake. Today I am remembering that this time last year I had gone to see my father for the final time (both my parents had AD) and that at 4.30 on the 21st March last year he too passed away, I had been unable to get to see him that day because of exhaustion, I couldn't drive or cycle safely the 10 miles to the care home.
    I was unsure how I would feel about today, have spent the last year recovering from the stress and exhaustion and generally trying to create a future for myself having spent the previous 2 years stuck in a mess of worry, panic and emotional devastation. I have started to look forward but however the circumstances of the death grief and loss are traumatic. I will never be the same person again but I will be a far better person.
    I have started to remember my parents for being who they were when they were healthy.
    Today it's the exquinox, the death of my parents to me will be associated with the end of winter and the coming of spring.
    Today is a day of rememberence.
    Lots of love to all
    Sally xx
     
  2. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    thinking of you today as you remember and start to look forward to a different life. I'm just over a year on too and I hear what you are saying xx
     
  3. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Sally, I hope today has been one of remembrance of your parents in their prime, before illness changed their lives and yours.
    Wishing you peace and encouragement for the future.
     
  4. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Sincerely hope this next year will be one of happier memories of your parents, Sally and that you will find strength and courage to move forward with your life as I am sure your beloved parents would have wished. Thinking of you WIFE
     
  5. Sweet

    Sweet Registered User

    Jun 16, 2014
    72
    I'm glad you posted Sally, it's helpful to my coping with the loss of my mum.
    I wish you well
    Sweet x
     
  6. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Sally, I remember your heartbreaking posts when you were torn between your Mum and Dad. I'm so glad that one year on you are starting to remember them as they were when they were well. I think you have given us hope that the memories of good times do return. Thank you.

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     
  7. SallyPotter

    SallyPotter Registered User

    May 19, 2013
    161
    Gloucestershire
    Bumped into my mothers best friend's oldest son in a graveyard today... Not seen him for about a year, nothing mentioned about my parents, his mother (94) still going strong...weird, poigent and very very odd, this time of year will never be easy, excitement as it's the end of winter (saw the Severn Bore last weekend) but think it may be always a slightly fixed date...xx
     

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