Haven't posted in ages but need some opinions please.
As a brief back story, Mum went downhill after my Dad died three years ago. She'd get muddled every now and again before he passed away but nothing really noticeable. After he died she was diagnosed with depression, a diagnosis which probably disguised the dementia. It took its course and over time she had help in the home but eventually she just wasn't safe by herself.
She went to a care home last November and settled in ok. She has very limited verbal communication usually only says yeah to everything, or she may repeat things you say. She tended to get upset when any of us children visited, mainly when we arrived or left, but this is slowly improving.
Since she's been there she has had quite a few UTIs (some suspected) and they have also notified us that she has told people to F off and has hit people. Which is not only out of character but hard for me to believe due to the lack of words she ever says.
We have also had a few cases where she hasn't been clean; in particular when one of us went to pick her up and she had no bra on, was unwashed, and still had overnight incontinence wear on. They knew we were coming, and she had clothes on, so it wasn't like she was still waiting to be gotten ready.
There has also been a case where her wrist swelled up for no apparent reason. Apparently she was ok, went down to her room, came back 15 mins later and her wrist was swelling up. No one contacted us about this, it was only when one of us visited that we noticed it, and not even all the staff seemed to be aware either.
When she went in to the home she was still continent. Then we noticed she was wearing pads. And obviously overnight too. Again, no one updated us on these changes which I would have thought they would do.
We addressed these issues and brought forward her 6 month review. They said apparently the UTIs can be caused as people with dementia don't fully empty their bladders, meaning old urine remains in the bladder and causes problems. So they think this is the reason (so not related to the cases where she has been in dirty incontinence wear for too long like I thought?)
They confirmed the hitting and said she is on a 24 hour watch. It hasn't been the same person all the time and they have made all staff aware. They don't know whether it's to do with people in her space or not, as apparently she hit someone that just walked by.
I did say I would have expected to be contacted about her wrist, especially as the GP came, and they said the GP said it was an arthritic swelling. Not that we've known Mum to have arthritis and I don't know whether that swells up so quick, but I know circumstances change and guess it could be that.
The home thanked us for bringing it all up etc. I was most annoyed about how they were quick to call when they said she'd hit someone but not for when she wasn't well.
Anyway, now something else. A new chap came in to the unit and took a shine to Mum. He followed her about etc and she would smile at him and sit next to him for tea. When one of us went they were holding hands. Now they've called to say they found Mum sat on his lap rubbing his crotch. So a new saga begins as another ends. They are keeping them apart but there having a meeting etc etc. They said about still having "needs" etc which I do not believe. They're now trying to keep them apart.
Has anyone else had an incident like this happen?
As a brief back story, Mum went downhill after my Dad died three years ago. She'd get muddled every now and again before he passed away but nothing really noticeable. After he died she was diagnosed with depression, a diagnosis which probably disguised the dementia. It took its course and over time she had help in the home but eventually she just wasn't safe by herself.
She went to a care home last November and settled in ok. She has very limited verbal communication usually only says yeah to everything, or she may repeat things you say. She tended to get upset when any of us children visited, mainly when we arrived or left, but this is slowly improving.
Since she's been there she has had quite a few UTIs (some suspected) and they have also notified us that she has told people to F off and has hit people. Which is not only out of character but hard for me to believe due to the lack of words she ever says.
We have also had a few cases where she hasn't been clean; in particular when one of us went to pick her up and she had no bra on, was unwashed, and still had overnight incontinence wear on. They knew we were coming, and she had clothes on, so it wasn't like she was still waiting to be gotten ready.
There has also been a case where her wrist swelled up for no apparent reason. Apparently she was ok, went down to her room, came back 15 mins later and her wrist was swelling up. No one contacted us about this, it was only when one of us visited that we noticed it, and not even all the staff seemed to be aware either.
When she went in to the home she was still continent. Then we noticed she was wearing pads. And obviously overnight too. Again, no one updated us on these changes which I would have thought they would do.
We addressed these issues and brought forward her 6 month review. They said apparently the UTIs can be caused as people with dementia don't fully empty their bladders, meaning old urine remains in the bladder and causes problems. So they think this is the reason (so not related to the cases where she has been in dirty incontinence wear for too long like I thought?)
They confirmed the hitting and said she is on a 24 hour watch. It hasn't been the same person all the time and they have made all staff aware. They don't know whether it's to do with people in her space or not, as apparently she hit someone that just walked by.
I did say I would have expected to be contacted about her wrist, especially as the GP came, and they said the GP said it was an arthritic swelling. Not that we've known Mum to have arthritis and I don't know whether that swells up so quick, but I know circumstances change and guess it could be that.
The home thanked us for bringing it all up etc. I was most annoyed about how they were quick to call when they said she'd hit someone but not for when she wasn't well.
Anyway, now something else. A new chap came in to the unit and took a shine to Mum. He followed her about etc and she would smile at him and sit next to him for tea. When one of us went they were holding hands. Now they've called to say they found Mum sat on his lap rubbing his crotch. So a new saga begins as another ends. They are keeping them apart but there having a meeting etc etc. They said about still having "needs" etc which I do not believe. They're now trying to keep them apart.
Has anyone else had an incident like this happen?
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