One Thing after another!

[SallyB]

Does anyone else feel like there is always something?

I just seem to get Dad's care co-ordinated and him accepting things and something else goes wrong!

Because Dad lives alone (not my choice, I would have him here) I have had to get help from social services. After much dificulty in getting Dad to accept home care he is now going the other way and doing less for himself.

Is this just normal deterioration or is he becomming the 'patient'?

Some days I just don't know what to do for the best. Because he now won't get up until home care arrive (sometimes not until 10 40 am) he is not now washed and dressed when his Home Help arrives to cook his hot meal. Last week i had to go and do it after paying £11-00/hr for the home help and the SS home care being there. Again yesterday he was left a meal that I just know would of been cold by the time he got around to eating it.

I have tried phoning him every morning to get him up (he can get up and make a cup of tea) but he just stays there until some one comes. I have phoned SS but they carn't change his call and Home Help say they carn't change the time of his call. Yet agan i feel like i am banging my head against a brick wall. Why is it so hard to get every thing co-ordinated? Sometimes i feel like there is some one up there having a right good laugh at my expense, watchig as i jump through hoops trying to ensure the best care for my Dad all the time.

Sorry to rant, i know there are really no answers but what i wouldn't give for a couple of weeks when every thing went as it should do and i didn't have to jump through those hoops!

Sally

 

[maggier]

I know exactly what you are saying.

We work full time, but have arranged for the carers to come in at lunchtime only ,as one of us can go to mums in the morning to make sure she is up and about (mum make a cup of tea and her breakfast is the only meal in the day she remembers to have, but as she has warm milk, we have to make sure the cooker is off etc)

The carer is then supposed to go in at lunchtime to encourage mum to have lunch and make a sandwich or some light lunch for her. Some days the carer is there at 10.15 am (not exactly lunchtime) and says she will make a sandwich for mum for lunchtime, but seeing as mum does not know what time it is, she usually says she is not hungry therefore no sandwich is made, and then it is tea time before she has anything else to eat.

I do not understand why it is so difficult to have a lunch time call actually at lunchtime, but we don't want to appear difficult so we don't say too much as yet.

Don't know what it will be like if and when we have to have carers there more than once a day.

Hugs - Maggie x

 

[Lynne]

I do not understand why it is so difficult to have a lunch time call actually at lunchtime, but we don't want to appear difficult so we don't say too much as yet.

Not unsympathetic Maggie, as you know, but the answer to that one is, of course, that all 20 or 30 people whom they visit "would like their lunch at lunchtime".
Perhaps you could ask her to make Mum a sandwich, put it under a plate in the kitchen & put an alarm clock by it, set for 12:30? (or whatever) Would Mum be able to manage that?

 

[maggier]

Good thinking,

Sometime I am that busy worrying about the big things, the obvious little things go right over my head.

Thanks you once again and sorry I must have sounded a little selfish, obviously the carer must have many others to see, but it's hard not to just think of yourself sometimes. Maybe that can be a lesson for me to learn.

Love Maggie

 

[Sheila]

Hey Maggie, welcome! Dont put yourself down my love, the only reason any of us know some ways round things is because we have learnt them. Lynne has a brilliant solution there, try it, she will be so chuffed to have been able to help I am sure. Thats what TP is all about, we are all on the same road, those further along offer help to those just starting out. Thats what we do, thats why we do it, keep postin'! Lotsaluv, She. XX

 

[SallyB]

Hi Maggie,

Thanks for replying. the suggestion about leaving a sandwich is exactly how we leave Dad's tea. He has a plate left covered in the fridge. He has it at the time he chose which is 4pm. Sometimes it means he gets two meals close together as his main meal is around 1pm. He has a note left every morning which he checks a million times a day! But as long as it tells him to have his tea and feed the dog he seems to remember (touch wood) He even complains if people don't all write it out the same! But i quite like that as it shows he still knows when things are wrong. We have also put a white board on the wall in the kitchen with all the people visiting and times etc. I have typed suggestions out for the carers and also his routines. One of the experienced carers suggested i do this.

I do understand that not everyone can have a visit at the same time, i guess that i just need reminding of that from time to time as i am so wrapped up in trying to look after my Dad. I find TP so helpful as you get so many different takes on a problem.

Sally