One month on

[Chewy]

Well it's been a difficult month, dad passed on the 4 November and I am now feeling lost . Had to have our beautiful Alsatian dog put down which to me seemed more humane than palliative care ( if anyone's been through it you will understand where I'm coming from ) and finally my dads sister passed after a 15 year battle also with Dementia. We've had 2 funerals for dad one here in the uk for family and friends and one for family and friends in Italy where he has finally been laid to rest. I still don't know how I'm am meant to be feeling, mum is constantly upset and crying but for me I just don't feel right , yes I am sad upset and miss him like mad but I just don't believe that he's gone forever . My wife and kids have all said they have had a dream with him there but me nothing , I looked after him for over 5 years why has he not come to see me in my dreams ? I just got back from Italy been to see my mum at her house and his things are still all around as if he will be home shortly I just can't accept he's gone . Tomorrows another dad come and see me soon dad good night all xx


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[Shedrech]

Chewy, much sympathy
I felt so similarly when mum died (nearly 10 years ago) - I just couldn't hear her voice any more - other people's voices were in my head but not my mum's
over time, though she did begin to appear in my dreams - just as someone in a crowd or with a brief wave or smile - then replaying some past event .... - so she's there, quietly in the background - I think my whole being just needed a pause for me to adjust to her not being in my actual life
so in time your dad will appear in your dreams
just take it a day at a time, a night at a time
Goodnight

 

[sunray]

Chewy, things do change over time, a month is no time at all in the grief journey. it sounds as if you have done all you can so don't feel guilty, have no regrets and be easy on yourself for a while. All the good memories do come flooding back in time and then you can rejoice in all the good things in your relationship with your parents.

Sue.