One male carer olone doing full body care with my wife.

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Big feet pete., Aug 12, 2018.

  1. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
  2. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
    In a care home can one male carer get a female resedent up and give her a full body wash before dressing her ?.
     
  3. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    4,525
    Male
    Bristol
    I know how you feel, Pete. I was always reluctant to allow male carers to provide personal care at home to my OH, but once I got to know one fellow when he came round shadowing another carer, and she didn't seem to mind then there was never a problem. If you really don't like the idea then you should be able to speak to the care home manager who should respect your wishes. I know from speaking to the fellow OH had that a few people had asked that he not visit and the agency respected that.
     
  4. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
     
  5. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
    Yes but i always thourgjt in a resedenial care home there should always be more than one person in the room when doing personal care
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    66,377
    Kent
    If you are concerned please discuss this with the manager. It will be interesting to hear what they say so please post an update.
     
  7. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
     
  8. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
  9. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
     
  10. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
  11. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    216
    Hi @Big feet pete.
    When Mum first moved to her CH she was capable enough to say that she didn't mind care from a male assistant. However has her needs got greater and more 'personal' it became obvious that this was distressing her.
    I spoke to the Manager and Head of Care and they immediately re-scheduled and put this on Mum's Care Plan. (although they did tell me that some ladies actually prefer a male carer !)
    Mum has received no further personal care from a male carer.

    Hope you get things sorted.
     
  12. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Think carefully before you voice it with management, exactly what it is that you are unhappy with.

    If you dont think you wife is comfortable with a man washing her, thats one thing.

    If you are not happy with a man washing her, thats another thing all together. Think why you aren't comfortable with it- Is it trust or something else? Dignity? If She had a male GP have to examine her in intimate areas, would you feel the same?

    My late Mother actually preferred the male carers.
     
  13. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
     
  14. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
    Its not so much it a male its just i always thourght that there should be more than just one person on there own doing personal care also my wife is only in her 50s and looks like she is in her 40s sometimes they use agency carers who come and go never the same one .
     
  15. Szaitisja

    Szaitisja Registered User

    Jul 28, 2018
    47
    Female
    Hertfordshire
    Hello. I worked in a care home for few months a few years ago. We had few residents that would require more than one person to get them up, provide personal care etc. Especially if the use of hoist was required. But majority of residents who had mobility were always washed and prepared by one of the staff. There were always problems with not enough staff and home was constanlty recruiting but it would be difficult to have 2 people helping each resident as it could mean some people wouldn't be up til about 2 pm. I don't know what the staff/resident ratio is in the home your wife is in, but that might be part of the reason?
     
  16. Big feet pete.

    Big feet pete. Registered User

    Nov 6, 2017
    39
    Male
    Suffolk
    Thanks i did wonder about .
     
  17. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    10,353
    Female
    London
    I would have said the two carers are only required if there are massive mobility issues to deal with and a hoist or something is required. It is certainly not something a care home would have the staff for regarding each individual resident.
     
  18. Malalie

    Malalie Registered User

    Sep 1, 2016
    248
    Female
    I agree with Beate that it would be unfeasible for a care home to have to have two carers present during simple full person care.

    However, when you say that your wife is only in her 50's, and looks like she's in her 40's I can understand your concerns. It's obviously not sitting well with you so I would have a word with the manager of the home if you are really worried, but in the mean time do try to get to know her male carer better when you visit if possible.

    Jessbows point is well made, but obviously a male doctor is somewhat different to a male agency carer who could be on minimum wage.

    I hope that the manager of your wifes home will listen to you and will address the situation. We just have to do the best that we can......
     
  19. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    439
    Lytham St Annes
    I don’t see the difference if a worker is an agency worker on minimum wage as long as they are professional, some of the best carers I have met have worked for an agency, and at the time were paid more than the permanent staff.

    All of the carers I have known have been very professional and turned around would the uncomfortable feeling be the same if it was a man needing care from a female??

    I am sure when doing a caring or any job in the medical field, it becomes very much just part of the job and you wouldn’t think anything about it, or look at a person in any way other than as a person in need of care.

    Obviously we are all different and if you are bothered then yes I agree to speak to the manager.
     
  20. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Registered User

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,523
    Toronto, Canada
    I agree with @DianeW, Because it is an unusual thing, we generally are taken aback with a male carer. If the concern is inappropriate behaviour, I do not see how being a doctor would inhibit such behaviour.

    But it is important for you to feel comfortable, @Big feet pete. so if you are not comfortable, do have a talk with the management.
     

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