Hello everyone,
I've been reading the posts here and it's all really informative and helpful stuff, as well as making one feel less isolated. I'm the daughter of someone who is caring for her husband who has a new diagnosis of dementia.
The lead up to the diagnosis has been terrifying in places for many reasons (driving, orientation, many more of the standard issues I've seen on here) , and now there's a label to put to some of his behaviours, he is in denial about it. The issue is that he's not always been a particularly nice person, and it seems the diagnosis and progression of the disease is bringing that aspect of his personality to the fore (anecdotally, its hard to see where the personality ends and the disease begins, if I'm honest).
My mother is in her mid eighties and has recently had a minor illness which really illustrated how weak their domestic set-up is and how dependent it is on her doing everything to keep the household running. She now admits that she cannot do this anymore. Because of this, I have started the ball rolling in trying to get domestic help and make them known to services (at her request) and investigating types of homecare. He overheard aspects of these phonecalls when she spoke with services and quickly became aggressive towards her.
I'm concerned for her wellbeing, and safety, and we have discussed her options at length. She's not much of a proactive person which is deeply frustrating for me as we seem to lurch from one crisis to the next, rather than having a cohesive plan and I'm sure part of her still is in denial and wishes it wasn't happening. 80something is quite the age to be considering a big life change.
I wonder if anyone else has faced a similar situation where they are concerned for the (elder) primary carer? And if so, if you have deemed it the right time to separate the couple for the wellbeing of that person?
With thanks in advance. Wishing you a peaceful winter holiday.
I've been reading the posts here and it's all really informative and helpful stuff, as well as making one feel less isolated. I'm the daughter of someone who is caring for her husband who has a new diagnosis of dementia.
The lead up to the diagnosis has been terrifying in places for many reasons (driving, orientation, many more of the standard issues I've seen on here) , and now there's a label to put to some of his behaviours, he is in denial about it. The issue is that he's not always been a particularly nice person, and it seems the diagnosis and progression of the disease is bringing that aspect of his personality to the fore (anecdotally, its hard to see where the personality ends and the disease begins, if I'm honest).
My mother is in her mid eighties and has recently had a minor illness which really illustrated how weak their domestic set-up is and how dependent it is on her doing everything to keep the household running. She now admits that she cannot do this anymore. Because of this, I have started the ball rolling in trying to get domestic help and make them known to services (at her request) and investigating types of homecare. He overheard aspects of these phonecalls when she spoke with services and quickly became aggressive towards her.
I'm concerned for her wellbeing, and safety, and we have discussed her options at length. She's not much of a proactive person which is deeply frustrating for me as we seem to lurch from one crisis to the next, rather than having a cohesive plan and I'm sure part of her still is in denial and wishes it wasn't happening. 80something is quite the age to be considering a big life change.
I wonder if anyone else has faced a similar situation where they are concerned for the (elder) primary carer? And if so, if you have deemed it the right time to separate the couple for the wellbeing of that person?
With thanks in advance. Wishing you a peaceful winter holiday.
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