1. Jodilynn0303

    Jodilynn0303 Registered User

    Jun 26, 2007
    11
    Leicestershire
    I care for my husbands Great Uncle. He lives with my mother-in-law but we have him during the day until 4 p.m. The family seems to think he has Old Age dimensia (he will be 89 in October). I have read and read up on Alzheimers and I have suggested to the family this is the case. The GP that the older gent goes to has said he has old age dimensia as well.

    Let me explain the things that happen in an average day and please help with what you think from your experience.

    Harry (the gentleman I care for) comes to my house at 7:30 every morning I give him a drink (in a bottle with a lid) and a newspaper, and a note. The drink has to be in a bottle because if not he forgets he has a drink and constantly asks for one. With the little bottle he keeps in his pocket and will feel around for it. The note is in a Video Cassette tape case because he rips them or makes paper airplanes out of notes on regular paper. The note states where he is and when he will be going home. He looks at it every 30 seconds during the day. He feeds himself but i make sandwiches and stuff but I have to make sure I feed him the same time as my hubby or little boy or he will sulk and think he has not eaten. If left alone for more than 15 minutes he trying to escape. Even when he is in his own home he doesnt think he lives there and tries to escape to go home. If we take him to a shop with us etc., if we lose sight of him for a minute he forgets he is with us and wanders again. we have had the shop security looking for him numerous times. He forgets who I am as I am a new addition to the family, and he gets angry and yells at me every day around 3 p.m. because he will try to stuff the note (in the case) in his pants or jacket and then ask me questions. So I tell him to keep his note out and this causes friction because he thinks it is a book and it is his and none of my business. I am starting to think he is urinating on himself and the bathroom floor he stinks terribly of urine by 4 pm and even when he goes upstairs to use the toilet I am not sure he isnt using the floor as today it is soaken wet and stinks. I care for Harry because the only othr alternative was to put him in a home and he cries if they mention this to him. So I said I would do it for the family since I stay home anyway with my son. The problem is sometimes Harry uses horrible language in front of my 3 yr old, or he'll push me etc., My husband works upstairs and will come down if he hears Harry yelling and Harry will listen to my husband as he has known him for 40 years. What is the best thing for him? Being with me as he begs to be if it is between being with me or being in a day care home. I just want to do what is best for him and the family. But this is really difficult. Any help would be so great. Thanks.
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    When you say a Day care home , do you mean like a Day center , come home at the end of the day ?
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Jodilynn

    Yes, I certainly understand the presures you are under. It must be so difficult for you, with a young child to care for as well.

    Did the GP make any suggestions when he diagnosed dementia? Has Harry seen a consultant? Have you had an assessment by social services?

    Sorry, lots of questions, but I really think it too much to expect you to cope with all this.

    I would suggest that your MIL go back to the GP with Harry, and ask for a referral. It may be that there is medication that would help him.

    The next priority is to ring SS and ask for a carers assessment. There is all sorts of help you could get, like day centres, people coming in to sit with Harry to give you a break, and a referral to the continence adviser.

    Please do ask for help, you need it and you deserve it. You have your son to consider.

    Let us know how you get on.

    Love,
     

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