OK I am done with this dementia business. I can't go on. I am sick and tired of tryin

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Casbow, Sep 1, 2015.

  1. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    trying to be patient. I have had enough. I have had too much wine and I want to take all the pills in the house and be done wih it. There is no future. I wish I was dead but don't want family to be left picking up the pieces. Tomorrow I will have to get more help .
  2. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    Oh Casbow please talk to someone tonite phone the Samaritans Please get help you sound as though you are desperate i feel very worried about you wish I could do something to help sending you a big hug xx
  3. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    Casbow, hold on in there. xx
  4. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    I am glad that inspite of your statement you say you will insisgate more help tomorrow.

    We all understand the isolation that dementia puts on us.

    Please if you need to talk to someone tonight please phone the Samaritans they will not judge they will just listen 08457 90 90 90

    Stay strong
  5. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    Hi Casbow,

    You know it passes so hold on tight and get some help ,phone a friend or the Samaritans.You know we all understand that kind of feeling ,please get help .((((hugs)))).((((((hugs))))
  6. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    So very sorry you are feeling so low, hope you manage to get some rest tonight and that you do find a way forward tomorrow. Sounds like you desperately need some respite.
  7. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    Hi Casbow

    I'm sorry I'm a bit useless, I can only offer a huge virtual hug and back up what has been said, please talk to someone tonight. I know it will be hard to dial the number, but try I'm certain you will feel a bit better for speaking to the Samarians tonight, then follow up tomorrow.

    Please try calling them and talk it through now.

    Lavender x
  8. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    As said contact the Samaritans, phone a relative or call the emergency number for Essex social services which is 0845 606 1212. Don't wait for the morning do it now, help will be available even at this time of night.
    We all just have to get through it one day at a time and there is a future, take the first step towards the light and get help now. Like Nell says the Samaritans are brilliant people.
  9. Essie

    Essie Registered User

    Feb 11, 2015
    Stay strong Casbow, thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug. Do keep posting, speak to the Samaritans, whatever gets you through the night - you know there are other options than you being your husband's carer - just hang on in there till tomorrow. The phone number for Essex County Council Emergency Social Services is 0845 606 1212 which is an out of hours service so there should be someone there right now.

    Crossed posts with Kevinl.
  10. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    south-east London
    I don't know what more I can add that hasn't already been said, but I couldn't pass by and say nothing.

    It is understandable that circumstances overwhelm us at times, anyone looking after a loved one with this awful disease will tell you as much. It does help to talk to someone, to know that we are not alone in our thoughts and experiences, but also to know that others have been in the same place and pulled themselves out of the mire.

    What can seem an endless bleakness can change in the light of a new day. Things will never be as we had once hoped, maybe even expected - but it is not all a dark future. There are still many good experiences to be had, they may come out of nowhere and most unexpectedly, but they will come.

    Keep talking, keep sharing. Let others help lift the weight for you - and above all, know that as isolating as this disease can be, you are far from alone xx
  11. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Just to add my good wishes and hugs. So sorry things are so bad at the moment. None of us know what the future holds but life can still have many good things in store for you.
    Glad you posted on here and hope you can get the help you so desperately need.
  12. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Casbow; I remember last winter when I just wanted to go and sit out one cold night and just freeze solid. I really had come to the end after all the years I'd spent not knowing how to cope and when things were very bad. Somehow, I picked myself up again. When things get this bad, we have to shout for help. We just must.

    I know about the too much wine thing, too. You have to get help and support. Please, please tell your doctor and anyone else, like your social worker and tell them you just can't take any more. Ask for some respite. Let someone else see how your loved one behaves and get things properly documented. Once that begins, it'll move things towards the professionals taking notice of what you say and they'll then have you both on their radar for some proper support.

    You have to get supported, and you have to get it ASAP. Ideally, in the morning straight after office hours begin.
  13. lizzybean

    lizzybean Registered User

    Feb 3, 2014
    Oh Casbow. I do hope you are alright. Please do as the others have said but please let us know how you are as soon as you can. We are worried about you.
  14. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    I hope you are feeling different this morning, I have been there as well but could never do that to my loving family, please get help from SS and see your doctor,

    Thinking of you and hope things get better, they have for me,xx
  15. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    Hi Casbow

    I just wanted to check back in to see how you are. I hope you are ok this morning and that you get the help you truly deserve. I think we all have dark days, but hopefully today is better. Push to get every bit of help you can think of or might need and try not to take no for an answer. It seems to me that help is such a lottery depending much on budgets, but no one should be allowed to get as low as you felt last night.

    Wishing you a much brighter day, try to take care of yourself.

    Lavender x
  16. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    I just want to support everything everyone has said already.

    Hoping you are okay this morning and that you get the help you so desperately need and deserve.

    No-one should be left feeling like this.

    With love and understanding xxx
  17. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    Casbow hope you managed to get some rest last night and that you will get some help today I think lots of us have been in the same place please let us know how you are sending hugs to you xxxxxx
  18. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Just adding my thoughts to others. Have been there too. In addition to contacting SS, please see your GP. I know they don't work for all but antidepressants and counselling really helped me at a particularly bad time.
  19. angelface

    angelface Registered User

    Oct 8, 2011
    Do hope you are still in one piece today Casbow.

    If you have come to the end of the caring road,then SS need to take over.If you feel like screaming and crying down the phone to them,this is the time to do it.

    Sending lots of strength snd support.
  20. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013

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