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OH turns 80!

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,080
Victoria, Australia
My husband had his 80th birthday last week and it was a wonderful occasion for him.

He had no idea that his brother and sister in law were coming from the UK to visit him. Best kept secret ever! My son picked them up from the airport and I had to be very inventive with my fibs to have my husband there to meet them without him waking up to what was going on.

I think it took a while for it to sink in that they were really there. We had a wonderful dinner on the night of his birthday and spent days sightseeing around Melbourne, visiting our lovely beaches and venturing down the Great Ocean Road.

The two brothers didn't stop talking the whole time and often were oblivious to where they were going, just trailing along behind us girls and at a toilet stop, accidentally followed us into the ladies toilet.

My husband is a great one for blaming the computer if he is having trouble using it and his brother very generously gave him a new computer because he thought it would solve the problem. Now OH is going to have to learn to use Windows after having an iMac which is going to be interesting because I don't have a clue either. But it was such a well meaning gesture that I can't be let myself be fussed about it. So generous.

One of the really nice things was that OH didn't complain about anything the whole time his brother was here but he felt very sad when the time came for them to go home. He kept on saying that he mightn't ever see them again so we had to resort to making pretend plans for their next visit.

He is tired, as I am but it was a great time for him.
 

cuppatea

Registered User
Oct 28, 2016
417
South Wales
Oh that's lovely Lawson! I remember comparing notes with you about OHs playing bridge. How wonderful that you kept such a big secret, and that it went so well. My OH was 80 earlier this year too. He is now in a nursing home and still thinks about bridge although he can no longer play. After a year of rage he finally has calmed down most of the time. Good luck with the computer, kind of his brother. Are you nearthe bushfire, I hope not?
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
276
Central Scotland
My husband had his 80th birthday last week and it was a wonderful occasion for him.
Glad you had a wonderful time together.

What a coincidence that this should appear today, which is OH's 80th Birthday. We have planned a fairly low key celebration in OH's Care Home because he has only recently settled there. There will only be close family - 3 grandbairns, 2 daughters + their other halfs, My sister and myself. We will have a buffet style tea,with a huge cake made by the Granddaughters, play some of OH's recordings and perhaps have a game of boule. His main present is a fantoosh bird feeder with 4 arms which weather permitting we shall install outside his unit window and thanks to a great suggestion on TP there will be a pair of binoculars and a bird book to go with it.

Fingers crossed that it all goes well, though there is every chance that OH will doze off through most of it.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,080
Victoria, Australia
Oh that's lovely Lawson! I remember comparing notes with you about OHs playing bridge. How wonderful that you kept such a big secret, and that it went so well. My OH was 80 earlier this year too. He is now in a nursing home and still thinks about bridge although he can no longer play. After a year of rage he finally has calmed down most of the time. Good luck with the computer, kind of his brother. Are you nearthe bushfire, I hope not?
No, we are not in a bushfire area but Victoria has had its fair share of them over the years. I grew up in Queensland and neither my sister nor I remember bushfires, especially in the rainforest areas. Cyclones, spectacular storms, yes but no bushfires.

One of the local care homes near us have bridge games but apparently it's rather hilarious.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,080
Victoria, Australia
But is sounds so lovely with the bird feeder which I am sure he will enjoy. And there will be memories for all the family that will stay with them for years to come.

We lived in the Caribbean for some time and we had feeders for the humming birds. All of them knew us but didn't like strangers being near the feeders.

And there is an elderly gentleman who has bird feeding table in his front garden and he sits and watches them for hours.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,080
Victoria, Australia
Hi @Lawson58 , you sound more relaxed and , I daresay, happy .Maybe happy is not the right word. Shall I say serene?
OH has been calmer and trying to be a little more helpful in the last few months. I think turning 80 has had a bit of an impact on him too. I think he realized that this visit took a lot of effort on my part and I know he appreciated it.

His two brothers are lovely generous people and we have never had issues with them, unlike his children. Spending time with my husband gave them some sense of the care I have given my husband over the years and I know that they respected that. Family responses can make a world of difference in how we feel about ourselves and our role as carers.

It was interesting spending time with my SIL as she told me lots of stories about his childhood, stories he never told me because he has lost those memories.