Oh the joys of making mum cry on Xmas eve

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Just come on to have a moan really cos I am hugely feeling sorry for myself sitting in mums house whilst she is in the care home. We spent the day together and I tried to persuade her for a bath with the care workers as we are now in week 10 with no bath... as I took her t shirt off I just fell apart. It was the one from hospital with blood and all sorts. Underneath was not so good. But no agreement to bath. The care workers distracted her whilst I "found" the soiled underwear cleverly hidden along with about 30 of the drinks she has allegedly been taking every day all nicely hidden away. I kept it together until mum stood in the corner like a child saying over and over "take me home now". I hate hate hate this illness and I would give anything to take it away. Driving home the 30 miles I could barely see for the tears. Oh merry Christmas me!!! Sorry for the moan but there is no where else to put this at this time of year. All around are doing the family happy things and so dumping all this is not possible. No one wants the crying sad person at the party !!!!
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
Bless you. Hopefully you are feeling a little better. There is always someone here, listening, even if we can’t make it better for you, at least you are not all alone.
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Bless you. Hopefully you are feeling a little better. There is always someone here, listening, even if we can’t make it better for you, at least you are not all alone.
Thanks for the replies. This forum always is there for people - it's the best. Just sitting with tears trying to erase the repeat loop of mum standing like a child in the corner that's stuck in my mind! Pass the baileys!!!
 

Theresalwaystomorrow

Registered User
Dec 23, 2017
343
0
Def regular with lots of ice!! Thanks for making me smile
Oh how sad, this cruel cruel disease surley something can be done for them it’s awful.
I’m new to this forum and after reading all post I do wonder how long mum and all of us have to suffer this torment it’s not fair!
Merry Xmas to you x
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
Ooh, with ice....brilliant. Now I have made you smile I will make you feel sorry for me. I was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 18 months ago. No butter in the bread sauce, no cream on my pudding, no Baileys, NO CHOCOLATE.
Now, how can you feel sorry for yourself? You enjoy that Baileys girl. I will stick to my prosecco!
 

Prudence9

Registered User
Oct 8, 2016
478
0
Oh pjapril ((((X)))). Have my Baileys, throw your ice in and wipe your tears xxx

......the chocolate one is lovely :)
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Ooh, with ice....brilliant. Now I have made you smile I will make you feel sorry for me. I was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 18 months ago. No butter in the bread sauce, no cream on my pudding, no Baileys, NO CHOCOLATE.
Now, how can you feel sorry for yourself? You enjoy that Baileys girl. I will stick to my prosecco!
Oh. Noooooo chocolate was what stood out there !!!!!! It's my only comfort !!!!! Prosecco helps too.....
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Oh how sad, this cruel cruel disease surley something can be done for them it’s awful.
I’m new to this forum and after reading all post I do wonder how long mum and all of us have to suffer this torment it’s not fair!
Merry Xmas to you x
Welcome to the forum and I have to say that this place often saves me from the pits of sadness as everyone here knows exactly what it means when we say even the most ridiculous things. And whenever I'm sad (most days!!) I come here and always get friendship and comfort from people who know just what it's like to have loved ones with dementia and what it means to go through this together xx
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Oh pjapril ((((X)))). Have my Baileys, throw your ice in and wipe your tears xxx

......the chocolate one is lovely :)
Oooo no original only!! Tradition!! If mum wasn't hiding her medication as well as the drinks I had a small one planned - another abandoned idea as today went to hell!! Ah well onwards and upwards to Christmas Day with my dementia care home pals and mum!! Best conversations to be had with the best random comments from them all!! Today I was only 21 (nearly 30 years off -that was one good moment!!)
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,758
0
South coast of England
Hi pjapril, I am sorry you are going through this :( Please try to remember that it is the dementia that is doing this to your mum, not you (((hugs))).

Christmas is always a horrible time for people who are already feeling blue. That feeling that everyone else in the world is happy, except for us. Not true of course but it doesn't necessarily help!
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
Oh. Noooooo chocolate was what stood out there !!!!!! It's my only comfort !!!!! Prosecco helps too.....
When you get the time...and if you want to, read my first post on my thread, Can I have time off to be ill. It’s all about chocolate!!
 

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,694
0
Auckland...... New Zealand
So sorry to hear that PJApril.
I'm having a **** time too.... It's Christmas Day here already... 7:30 am :)
My sister & brother are not here this Christmas Day.... It's all upon me to visit Mum today, and to be honest I'm dreading it. Will she know its Christmas Day? Will she ask where everyone else is? Will she be in one of her foul, agitated moods?
I even have to lie to my Dad where I am going. ( He lives next door)
I took him to see Mum yesterday. He has never understood Mums Alz, he just upsets and confuses her half the time, and now I suspect he has mild dementia himself.
I'm hoping to have lunch with Mum, and a lady who lives in one of the assisted living apartments has asked me to bring Mum to see her today for a cup of tea and some Christmas cake.
I'm hoping Mum will be in an OK enough mood, for her to cooperate and even set foot outside her care home.
It would be nice for Mum, as this lady is Scottish like Mum, and sometimes I think just hearing her accent, has some kind of good effect on her :)
Best wishes to you for the days ahead..... and chocolate :D
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Hi pjapril, I am sorry you are going through this :( Please try to remember that it is the dementia that is doing this to your mum, not you (((hugs))).

Christmas is always a horrible time for people who are already feeling blue. That feeling that everyone else in the world is happy, except for us. Not true of course but it doesn't necessarily help!
Thanks for that - I always try to say it's the illness not mum. But sometimes.... I just want to scream it's so unfair .... and then I remember that not everyone understand. But know you do xx
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
So sorry to hear that PJApril.
I'm having a **** time too.... It's Christmas Day here already... 7:30 am :)
My sister & brother are not here this Christmas Day.... It's all upon me to visit Mum today, and to be honest I'm dreading it. Will she know its Christmas Day? Will she ask where everyone else is? Will she be in one of her foul, agitated moods?
I even have to lie to my Dad where I am going. ( He lives next door)
I took him to see Mum yesterday. He has never understood Mums Alz, he just upsets and confuses her half the time, and now I suspect he has mild dementia himself.
I'm hoping to have lunch with Mum, and a lady who lives in one of the assisted living apartments has asked me to bring Mum to see her today for a cup of tea and some Christmas cake.
I'm hoping Mum will be in an OK enough mood, for her to cooperate and even set foot outside her care home.
It would be nice for Mum, as this lady is Scottish like Mum, and sometimes I think just hearing her accent, has some kind of good effect on her :)
Best wishes to you for the days ahead..... and chocolate :D
Ah you will be into Christmas ahead and chocolate probably isn't helping - but maybe it will be a comfort. My mum is Scottish too so we have that in common! Mums friends in the care home are treating me like a child too which is nice in it's own way. But like you mum asked me 4 times if it was Christmas tomorrow- I just gave up answering!!
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
When you get the time...and if you want to, read my first post on my thread, Can I have time off to be ill. It’s all about chocolate!!
Thanks. I spend ages reading all the posts so I already knew and already knew you are a special person who takes time for all of us who are here. You are a lovely person who reaches out to others and that is so special - my love and thoughts are with you often even though I don't post much. Thanks so so much for being there xxxxxx
 

pjapril

Registered User
Oct 22, 2017
77
0
Just a wee update - my sister who lives miles away tried to reinforce how upset I was today at all the findings and how hard it is to see mum in the t shirt from hospital but still no further on.... guess Christmas with no bath and a cheery smile is my aim for the morning!!!!
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Thanks. I spend ages reading all the posts so I already knew and already knew you are a special person who takes time for all of us who are here. You are a lovely person who reaches out to others and that is so special - my love and thoughts are with you often even though I don't post much. Thanks so so much for being there xxxxxx
I might have written it myself
 

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