1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. sleepingplum

    sleepingplum Registered User

    Mar 1, 2015
    46
    haven't been on for a while my fil has been in hospital for 7 weeks its the first summer hols my 7 yr old has had that he has had his friend over it was bliss. now he is back and has returned to pitting us all against each other he can be really evil all day to me as I am with him all day then as soon as his son comes in from work its all hiya butt and nicey nicey even when the nurses come in is this something in their brain that they can control to make them look like butter wouldn't melt and me like the wicked witch of the west.:confused:
     
  2. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    It sounds like outside help may well be a great idea. If you are the evil monster from hell then an outsider comes and pops him in the shower or what ever he needs then that would be a massive help for you and he is likely to accept this.
    Does he go to day care? I would also think about respite care too, especially for your son. You both need a relationship with each other without a negative force in the background 100% of the time.

    I really do wish you well for the future xx
     
  3. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,481
    West Midlands
    Wouldn't it be lovely to actually be the wicked witch of the west....

    Then it wouldn't hurt so much when being accused of being the wicked witch of the west.....

    Hard times for you

    Work out what your line in the sand is.... And once that is reached.....

    Enough !!!

    Make all the excuses for others..... Why you are still caring because you want to support etc..... At the end of the day, it's YOU who is dealing with it..... The shyte

    Support fil by all means, which is also supporting husband..... Keeping in mind..... Your FIRST priority is your child/children

    Took me over a year to realise the damage happening to our children.... For one, the one living at home, the damage was deep.... They have no good memories now of their grandmother.... The one who had the closest relationship with her when they were growing up before she came to live with us....


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  4. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    That's so sad but definitely a valuable point. 7 years old is a very impressionable age too (although name an age that isn't!).

    You don't say if nobody believes you are the Wicked Witch or not? Might be an idea to film, discreetly, what you have to endure on a daily basis to show to OH etc.
     
  5. sleepingplum

    sleepingplum Registered User

    Mar 1, 2015
    46
    wicked witch of the west

    thank you for your replies. my OH does believe me as he saw this behaviour before he went in to hospital. the trouble is he only sees his father for about an hour or maybe 2 a day otherwise its just me. we have had to suspend care temporarily because a mix up with an overpayment of pension credit apparently so that has to be sorted. my line in the sand is getting very close and I swear my child will be my only priority if pushed even the tiniest bit further my OH and myself are gonna work as a team more and keep our happy marriage happy and it will be survival of the fittest and I will walk away. my fil is 88 nearly and declining and I don't mean to sound harsh because I do absolutely everything for him but we waited 20 years of marriage before we had our little boy and he is not going to have to spend the next 10 years in therapy
    .
     
  6. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,481
    West Midlands
    Stay strong. That young boy of yours is very precious

    Dementia changes the person who has it. Nothing they can do about the changes that happen to them, but that's what we are for, we carers, we are the ones who need to be emotionally strong to make difficult decisions, that the person with dementia would make, if they could.

    My mum, if she was aware, would have been heart broken if she realised how badly affected her adored grandchild has become, because she was living with us with her dementia

    When I decided m needed a care home, I was told by others at the time, I was rushing mum into care, it was too early

    Mums dementia decline has been rapid. She has gone from a lady who actively joined in activities, at times suggested and ran activities at the care home, to not being aware of anything much around her within 3 years of being in care.


    It's not an easy decision to move someone away from the family home.... But it's essential to do so, especially if your line in the sand has been reached..... Any form of affect on a young child.... That's the line that should be listened to.... Not your personal line





    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     

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