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OH in respite

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,829
0
South coast
Well, it has happened - OH is in respite for two weeks. As many of you will know, because OH is relatively young and does not have a diagnosis (and is unlikely to get one) it has taken me a long time to find a care home that will accept him for respite. Thank you to everyone who has offered advice and suggestions. We went and viewed it last week and the manager did a covert assessment. The nurse who showed us around "sold" it really well and when the manager asked OH if he would be happy come for a week or two he agreed immediately. I was a bit worried that he would change his mind, but didnt keep reminding him about it and I packed while the carer was getting him washed and dressed this morning. Then I got him into the car and off we went.

On paper this home looked a good match as they accepted people 50 yrs and above and specialised in Parkinsons, MS, Motor Neurone Disease, Huntingdons and blind/deaf. I had initially rejected this home because it was rated as "requires improvement" by the CQC, but Im writing this to encourage other people who are looking at care/nursing homes for respite or permanent care. You have to look further than just the CQC - check the history, see whether it had been "good" and is in decline or whether it is improving, and how long the manager has been in place. I discovered that it had been in special measures and then someone had come along and changed things, It had been a dementia home, but now the upper floor is a secure dementia nursing home and the ground floor is for people with neurological disorders. They will accept people with dementia for the ground floor, but not people in advanced stages, or challenging behaviour - they are moved to the upper floor. Crucially, they appointed a new manager to oversee this change. She arrived a couple of months before the last CQC and improved it to "requires improvement". So it is on the way up. The manager was a very petite lady and was lovely with OH, but boy - I could see the steel in the velvet glove! I would not want to cross her and you could tell that she would not tolerate slip-shod work. The staff all seemed to work well together and all the ones I saw were permanent staff, not agency. The home had a lovely happy atmosphere, not luxurious, but very clean and welcoming. I am happy with it and I think OH will be too.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,393
0
High Peak
Sounds brilliant @canary. I bet you're walking round in circles now, wondering what to do with yourself! I'd say start with a big drink and metaphorical pat on the back. And maybe a happy dance... :)
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,829
0
South coast
Ive had my hair cut this afternoon (first time for six years), @Jaded'n'faded , then came home, sighed with relief then had some coffee and a chocolate brownie, but tonight Im going to order in a takeaway and open a bottle of wine...
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,346
0
Have a lovely evening @canary and I bet the hair looks great. Glad you are getting some space to yourself, you certainly deserve it.
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
1,708
0
Reading this has made me smile @canary. You have given such considered advice and support to so many of us and you really deserve this break. It sounds like a good place for your husband and you must be relieved that he likes it.

Put your feet up, have a lovely takeaway and savour the wine ... and breathe x
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,551
0
Southampton
that is so good that it worked out well. take away and bottle of wine sounds good. having your hair cut helps to feel good. champagne breakfast in the morning and a nice lay in without having to think what you have to do.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
12,448
0
Yorkshire
I'm so glad you are happy with the home @canary so hopefully you can relax and enjoy some time for yourself
maybe consider also taking a break from visiting here ... lose yourself in a book, mooch around the shops, treat yourself to a coffee out, and I hope you get to spend time with your family
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
703
0
Enjoy your break canary, put your feet up - or not, enjoy your wine. Take care x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,273
0
Kent
This is such good news @canary and not before time. I hope you have a wonderfully relaxing two weeks and really feel the benefit.

Even while you are going through such a massive personal experience, you are still thinking of others and offering your usual sound and constructive advice.

Enjoy.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
67,136
0
71
Dundee
That’s excellent news @canary. I’m so glad that things are working out for you. You deserve this time to wind down and think of yourself for a change.