.... Oh dear where to start .... ??

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Mommidizzle, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. Mommidizzle

    Mommidizzle Registered User

    Mar 15, 2012
    Hi Troops

    Well its been a very eventful 2 weeks, my OH was taken into hospital 2 weeks ago tomorrow ... he became aggressive and violent in 24 hrs !! We had to have police escort to get him to the hospital as he would not go in the ambulance! but we managed to keep him calm in the car and get him in. He has become very agitated and aggressive, he has hit the nurses, had to have security to him several times and given half the chance he escapes off the ward ( locks on doors have been improved ) his current trick is throwing things out of the windows!! As some of you may be aware he has had a foot ulcer for months now which was healing but now with his constant walking around and his obsession with taking the dressings off it is breaking down again ! Having done all the tests he was due he has been diagnosed with Lymphoma it is advanced and sadly the cause for his rapid decline,(they say the Cancer will accelerate the AD and the AD will accelerate the Cancer!!) they tell me they think its months? to be honest i think it will be weeks ?? :( when he not The dementia demon he looks so very weak and poorly..... we are awaiting Hospital SS to get involved and he will be hopefully be moved to somewhere more suitable for his care needs? Although I have say the staff at the hospital have been marvelous with him in very difficult and challenging circumstances :) We occasionally see the man he was and he mainly knows who we all are at this point but is so very sad he is so tormented by it all. My heart is breaking and i am crying buckets but at least he is in a safe environment and being cared for properly i would never have been able to cope with this at home.
    If anyone has any experience of Cancer with Dementia can they please let me know how they coped what to expect please .....
    As always love and hugs to you all hope you are having a better time of it than me right now :( xxx
  2. Aitchbee

    Aitchbee Registered User

    Nov 3, 2013
    Hello Mommidizzle. So sorry you are both going through such a difficult and distressing time. I don't have experience of cancer and dementia but I think that Macmillan Cancer Support maybe able to provide you with advice and support. They are not just for cancer patients and do have Nurses who have a specialism in cancer and dementia. There should be a Macmillan nurse at the hospital or your GP may be able to refer you and your husband. In the meantime you could call the Macmillan helpline for advice:
    0808 808 00 00 (Monday to Friday, 9am–8pm).
  3. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    Mommidizzle, so sorry to read your post and that you and your poor husband are having such a dreadful time. Hope a better place and appropriate care can be found for him soon. xxxxx

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  4. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    Hello Mommidizzle,

    I just wanted to send you a message of support. You asked if anyone could let you know what to expect. Last year I helped nurse a close friend who had terminal cancer, but that person was young (only 44) and had no dementia. He had no family with him, so I and some other friends were nursing him. I am guessing that in your OH's case, the reason they are saying the cancer and AD will accelerate each other is because probably the cancer will pass by metastasis to the brain. If it is any consolation, my friend went very peacefully. He went very quickly and did not suffer. He went in for a scan on the Monday, had a seizure while at the hospital, at which point they found the cancer had gone to his brain. He went into a coma the same day and passed away 3 days later. The doctors told us he did not suffer any pain because he was on morphine. We coped because there was no other choice. It hit us all hard afterwards though.

    My thoughts are with you.

  5. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Mommidizzle, I couldn't read your awful news and say nothing. I have no experience like you're going through, but just wanted to say here's a big shoulder if and when you need it to lean on, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  6. Mommidizzle

    Mommidizzle Registered User

    Mar 15, 2012
    Thankyou ....... you are always a good support to us all xxx
  7. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    That goes for me too. I'm so sorry you're having to cope with all this - life can be very cruel. I wish you strength for the difficult thing you are having to face. xxx
  8. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    So sorry to read your post. Hope you get advice from someone who has experience of this.
  9. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    near Folkestone
    So sorry to read your post offering my shoulder too . Much love to you both xxxxx

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  10. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    I'm so sorry to read your post. Wishing you much strength.

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
  11. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    So sorry you and your husband are having such a terrible time Mommidizzle, you must be devastated. Hope you get some insights that will help. I hope you have got good support from family and friends but anyway you know there are people on TP who can give you understanding and a cyber hug.
  12. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    Oh Momidizzle - just don't know what to say. Here are some flowers from all of us - wish we could send real ones. They are the nearest I could find to pansies - and the old name for pansies was Heart's Ease. You are facing a hard few weeks (or months) and then the grieving of the loss of your husband. We will all be here for you when you need us. xx
  13. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    Just adding my support at this devastating time for you both. More than anything I hope you find strength from somewhere to see you through.

    I'm truly sorry


    Lyn T XX
  14. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    Oh my dear, my heart goes out to you and your husband - there is so little that we can say to help.

    Lilac xx
  15. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    Momidizzle I have no idea what you must be going through just wanted to give you a hug xxx

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