Oh brother

[Tin]

Sometimes I find it difficult to post certain things, just worried about how others will feel when reading, still trying to keep mum's Dementia behind closed doors I guess. However have to get it out there don't we.

I am discovering that mum's behaviour is becoming more toddler like, especially at meal times. Her juice is often poured onto her main meal and then her hands get into it and she just plays, sometimes spreading it all over the table. So now I only give her a drink after meal has been eaten and plates cleared away..

Her walking is getting a little unsteady too. Sometimes I think she will fall over after taking a few steps, similar to a child learning to walk and of course I cannot get her to use any walking aids.

Her fiddling items are definitely child like and of course her speech is going that way. The daughter has definitely become the mother.

 

[DollyBird16]

Sometimes I find it difficult to post certain things, just worried about how others will feel when reading, still trying to keep mum's Dementia behind closed doors I guess. However have to get it out there don't we.

I am discovering that mum's behaviour is becoming more toddler like, especially at meal times. Her juice is often poured onto her main meal and then her hands get into it and she just plays, sometimes spreading it all over the table. So now I only give her a drink after meal has been eaten and plates cleared away..

Her walking is getting a little unsteady too. Sometimes I think she will fall over after taking a few steps, similar to a child learning to walk and of course I cannot get her to use any walking aids.

Her fiddling items are definitely child like and of course her speech is going that way. The daughter has definitely become the mother.

Hi, I get you.

My Mum too behaves in a childlike way. It’s a naughty child that does things to get your attention, quite needy and can be sulky if not given full attention.

It’s so hard isn’t it.
I too feel like the Mum. X

 

[Tin]

So hard to accept Dollybird and that "second childhood" saying makes so much sense to me now. Putting her to bed and tucking her in just seems so wrong.

 

[DollyBird16]

Oh yes and I keep catching myself saying, you ok poppet and buying Mum sweeties, along with saying it’s ok I’m here. X

 

[Tin]

Oh yes and I keep catching myself saying, you ok poppet and buying Mum sweeties, along with saying it’s ok I’m here. X

Oh dear and all this happens and sometimes you don't realise, until someone else points out that's how they used to talk to their own children and I have to explain why and that it comforts my mum.

I have just put mum to bed, tucked her in, kissed her forehead, said good night and pulled up the bed rail. Only difference these days is that I no longer have to leave the hallway light on.

 

[Tin]

Mum's wandering aimlessly around the house seems to have returned and what is making it difficult is that her mobility is not as good as it used to be. She just keeps walking with top part of body ahead of her legs!

 

[Tin]

Well aimless wandering is still with us and it has been joined by, lets break a few things, furniture moving is back too.. Kitchen half door has a padlock on it and again by continually pulling on the padlock she has bent it. Sometimes I feel I have to find locks to protect the locks! She spent 3 hours on this yesterday and I could not get her to leave it alone, except for the time when I had to wash and get her ready for bed, but soon after she was straight back at that door and only the lack of daylight and my turning lights off, did she stop, then she moved on to the furniture and was unplugging a table lamp - done this before, caught her dragging the lamp around by the lead.

Noticed her bed bars were down this morning and she was just a tiny move away from falling out, knees already over the edge. I am sure I put the bars up last night, but did I lock it in place or maybe mum has worked out how to release this, or just continually pushing and pulling on it released it! Have to sort this out.

Again I am amazed at how strong she is and yet some days she looks so frail and can not hold a cup up to her mouth.

Now I have a small pile of ironing to do and I am hoping against hope that she leaves me to it, but of course I will be listening out for any bangs or crashes!

 

[Marnie63]

Sorry to hear that Tin, it seemed that for a while things were calmer. It must be exhausting for you and yes, where do they get the energy?!

I haven't done any ironing since August 2017. Shock, horror! I am usually a very organised, tidy person, but when mum had her stroke in August, I just let the clothes pile up, then I just put them away and, you know, nothing looks creased on me! I do tend to only wear T Shirts these days, so that helps. I'm even sleeping under crumpled duvet covers, and I've got used to it. Needs must. Life has to change!

 

[Tin]

Sorry to hear that Tin, it seemed that for a while things were calmer. It must be exhausting for you and yes, where do they get the energy?!

I haven't done any ironing since August 2017. Shock, horror! I am usually a very organised, tidy person, but when mum had her stroke in August, I just let the clothes pile up, then I just put them away and, you know, nothing looks creased on me! I do tend to only wear T Shirts these days, so that helps. I'm even sleeping under crumpled duvet covers, and I've got used to it. Needs must. Life has to change!

There are a lot of my clothes that do not see the iron. When I put them on they look fine, I think my body temperature has a lot to do with this!

It is frightening where the energy comes from and to all it does look like she knows exactly what she is doing, maybe so, but then to break something! I have been asked why I don't let her go into the kitchen and a long explanation ensues and then I pull out the photos that I have taken of the mess, broken glass, over flowing water in sink and my favourite - open sachets of cat and dog food piled high and not on plates just straight on to floor. There reaction is usually wow, can't believe it, am I sure it is dementia! The usual nonsense about thinking dementia was all about memory like forgetting the day, or time. What these people tend to forget is that everything she has learnt to do over a life time is being forgotten.

 

[Tin]

Mum gone to bed early tonight, had to do something to stop the fiddling with padlock and trying to remove a table lamp and all the other stuff being moved around, I seem to have lost my car keys - wonder where they are!!!! all just too much for me tonight, so off to bed she went.

Almost sure it was mum that dropped the bed rail. Half hour after Putting her in bed I went to check and there was definitely some fiddling going on.. Cannot see how she could do it though because it needs two hands to pull two knobs at same time! Maybe all the pushing, puling and shaking does the trick.

 

[Rolypoly]

Oh Tin, I do feel for you. It must be very disheartening having to face ‘removal-gate’ again. Sending you a big hug.

 

[Tin]

Oh Tin, I do feel for you. It must be very disheartening having to face ‘removal-gate’ again. Sending you a big hug.

'removal-gate' love it. Soo disheartening, As her brain gets weaker her body gets stronger.

 

[DollyBird16]

Hi @Marnie63 @Tin
A relief to read my new approach to laundry is not new thing, just being practical.
Nothing a good shake and hang up, can save the dullness of ironing.

Always thinking of you. xx

 

[Tin]

Terrible day, mum has diarrhoea. I have changed her clothes and pads 6 times, plus cleaning toilet, commode and bathroom floor - Splash back - awful gets every where even on my clothes.. So mum is only wearing vest and knickers, at least I can see if any thing more is happening straight away, fully clothed and I am not aware until its too late and I am sitting here in just a big t-shirt, as soon as water hot enough I am taking a bath.

I have to be very careful with mum's diet, but cannot pin point what started this although yesterday and today she had sausages for lunch, I usually stick to fish and chicken and she grabbed a piece of Victoria sponge with cream and jam, the cream a definite no no.

All of this on a warm, sunny day - hardly spent any time in the garden, but plenty of fresh air coming in, windows wide open to air the house!

 

[Batsue]

You have my sympathy, I find that even when everything is cleaned and aired the smell still seems to linger in your mind. I hope your mum's tum is better soon.

 

[Tin]

You have my sympathy, I find that even when everything is cleaned and aired the smell still seems to linger in your mind. I hope your mum's tum is better soon.

You are so right, the smell may be in my head! Hope so too, if continues tomorrow will have to get a sample to surgery for testing. For now though only giving her toast.

 

[Rolypoly]

Oh no, poor you and poor mum. Have you got any scented candles?

 

[Tin]

Oh no, poor you and poor mum. Have you got any scented candles?

Oh yes, all alight as I type. No problems at the moment but that is probably because mum has not eaten tonight, cannot risk it, we have an early start tomorrow and I do not want to spend the night cleaning up. I don't think she is ill because she is doing her usual rounds, wandering aimlessly and moving things and she has not complained of or looks like she is in any pain.

 

[Tin]

Think mum's days in the garden are numbered. Even with me out there she is drawn, like a moth to the flame, to the dangerous parts, as well as just walking through the flower beds crushing everything underfoot, and while sitting at the bench and I swept the pathway, she got close to the pots I had planted up with red Geraniums, Lavender and mints. she has pulled all out and broken stems and I am not happy. Have re-potted, but think it will be too late to save. I stopped putting cut flowers in the house ages ago because she would just take the flowers out of vase and spread them all over the house. The vase full of water was not safe either, this would be placed in any thing was cat basket to sofa and chairs. Just another example of her 'wreaking ball' ways.

 

[Tin]

Been an odd week so far. Mum is looking very tired and mobility not great. Instead of spending hours on her feet she is now sitting at the table a lot, just tearing up magazines and the like. Been trying to encourage her to take a nap in the afternoons and think I may have to be more proactive to achieve this - putting her to bed for an hour might be the best thing to do. Every little thing seems to exhaust her now. We were only out for an hour this morning, its market day in our local town, but poor mum had problems walking, I think it is time to start using the wheel chair more. Poor old girl, she really does look like she is just about holding on.

Of course we have been here before and she usually rallies, but I know that the day will come when this will not happen, just hope that is not today. Would like to get back to visiting garden centre tea shop and poking around the charity shops with her.