Oddities and obsessions?

[Brucie]

Hi Michael

Because they feel they are losing everything, they seem to try and collect as much of whatever they fancy as they can. Go with it is my suggestion!

You probably need to explore other things she may like to eat - even things she has not liked before. Their tastes change and it is a bit of an exploration to find out what is okay now.

They often hark back to the past and think they can return there, but, sadly, everywhere will be strange to them now. London may already be a name and a long term memory thing. May not be so, but you should not base any moving placns on what she says until you can check it out.

A voyage in your new boat? Yes, if that is possible. But be prepared to change plans en route if necessary. I realised that Jan would no longer be able to do 2 hour trips in the car when on the way back from Cornwall the last time, and where she had a panic attack en route, culminating in a heated discussion in a layby. I was SO glad to get us home safely afterwards. Imaging having such a discussion on a boat 30 miles from land......

Final thought... 2 years is a long time with dementia.

However, go for it if you think you can. Time is so, so precious to us!

 

[jeanette]

france

Hi Micheal
We also live in france My husband malcolm loves it here And hates going back to angleterre. I was interested in your comment about the medical care being FREE
wish you well on your sailing trip

 

[Michael E]

Free care in France

Jeanette hi,

In fact we are French residents and live here permanently. I think I have been lucky to get good medical advice here. I do have to pay the doctor E20 and the neurologist E30 and of course for all the blood tests, memory tests et al but the entire amount for Monique is refunded to my bank account. I understand that Aricept is going off the list in the UK. What happened here was at first they prescribed another 'memory' medication which did not suit and then they changed it. Frankly although I have to pay up front and wait a week or so for the refund the prices are not high and the service - minimum of 20 minutes with the GP and more if required and he shakes hands and shows us to the door - is very good indeed.

If I can help you to 'clock' into the sytem then please ask.

In order to get 100% free your french GP has to inform social security that it is an illness of long duration.....

regards

michael

 

[Michael E]

Final thought... 2 years is a long time with dementia.

However, go for it if you think you can. Time is so, so precious to us!

Bruce hi,

Thanks for the info. The cooking thing is only a problem because it is not my area of expertise! Sometimes when I have shopped, cleaned and then cooked and she refuses to eat it I get a bit fed up... She never used to be 'picky' and was alway up for trying exotic or different things - still thats the illness - people change. But your right I must adapt - Monique likes fish a lot these days and where we live there is lots -

Tell me what you meant by 'Final thought... 2 years is a long time with dementia.' ?

I am sort of working on the principle that I do not know how 'fast' it is going to progress. It does seem to be accelerating but that may be because I am now more aware of it. I am not certain how quickly it goes from this state of just not being able to organise or do many things to the incontinent wandering out the front door state???

To keep myself going I just try to keep life sort of normal - If I am to cope I have to do some things that please and interest me - At some time in the future it will be almost impossible for me to have that freedom I suspect. that's OK but whilst I can I want to keep sailing - traveling - Monique does seem aware it is important to me and is making lots of efforts to 'look forward' to the trip - I am aware it could all fall apart but once I have the boat back in France it should be possible to dump it somewhere and come home for a while - Anyway its only a boat.

 

[Brucie]

Hi Michael

regarding the two years that I quoted from your posting - nothing specific meant by that for you. It depends on how far down the line we are really.

In the early stages with Jan I found that changes happened fairly slowly, this was kind of typical Alzheimer's. Then I think the vascular element took hold and things changed more erratically. Two years worth of change towards the end of her time living at home [nearly 4 years ago] brought immense challenges.

Every case is different.

If things have been stable, then live to the full until things change. Go sail the boat.

We none of us know how slowly or quickly things will go, hence live for the day.

I found that for the first six years that Jan was ill there was more predictability about her condition. Thereafter it was more of a challenge, but hey, we still had many great moments.....still do.

But the days did finally come when I thought... this will be the last holiday together, the last trip to the supermarket together, the last car journey we will make together, the last meal we will eat together normally.

Very best wishes

 

[Nevin]

Obsessive Behaviour

Hi Carole,

I am pleased to have found this thread - my nan's obsession is cigarettes, sometimes smoking up to 60 a day because she cannot remember if she had smoked one or not. We point to the ashtray showing her the evidence of five or six butts that has been put out all in the space of half an hour. She always denies that they her hers. Often, she'd walk to the kitchen and leave one burning away in the ashtray then light another after she returns from the kitchen.

Tissues, boxes of them the same colour and brand, is another obession, she will pull them all out of the box, fold them all neatly and then stuff them down the side of her seat where she sits or in her bag.

Money is another, she will count what she has in her purse, stuff it down the side of her chair and then do the same thing all over again. This can go on for hours.

The cigarettes are our main concern at the moment - we buy her cigarettes for her but she hides them and says she hasn't got any to the other tennants in her sheltered accommodation and sends them round the shops to get her some more!

I just wish she will find something else to replace the cigarettes before my nan ends up burning the place down.

 

[thompsonsom]

Hi Nevin

Mum/in/law had problems over her smoking, all her trousers have cig burns in them but when going to day care and giving cigs to carers for her, we noted that she wasn't smoking them, this coming from a 79 year old who has smoked since 14 and never been able to give up not even after triple heart bypass. We decided that on the last respite trip we would try her without altogether and she hasn't had a cig now for 4 weeks, we are still avoiding anyone smoking in front of her so as not to remind of them but we are determined that it is better for her not to smoke due to the dangers and social stigma, a lot of nursing homes have no smoking policy which means the person going outside in all weathers. Maybe you should try not to buy them for her and perhaps she to will forget she smoked like m/in/law.
She to has an endless amount of tissues which she folds neatly and fills every pocket and bag with them, good job loo paper is reasonably cheap in places otherwise an increase in housekeeping would be noted

jan

 

[Norman]

Jan
paper hankies,tissues seems to be a common one.I find them everywhere.plus pieces of toilet roll.The toilet roll is due to the fact that Peg can't find the hankies.
It's when I dish out the hankies that they appear everywhere.
Wish I had shares in Kleenex!!
Best wishes
Norman