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Occasional aggression

Figgie

New member
May 15, 2019
3
I am the sole carer for my wife who has early onset Alzheimers. On occasion she can act in an aggressive manner. This morning her agitation level increased quite quickly. She had picked up a large glass jar from the cupboard and was approaching me threateningly with it. I took it from her and put it on top of the cupboard so it was out of reach. She next picked up a heavy bag and approached me with it. I took it off her. Then she picked up a cafetière full of hot coffee, which I took from her. I grabbed her arms fearing she might pick it up again and pushed her away from it. I then removed my breakfast from the kitchen and retreated to the living room, to allow her agitation to subside. It took about 2 and a half to three hours.
This was probably the most concerted incident, though there have been others. There are often gaps of quite a few weeks between such incidents. On occasion she has hit or kicked at me. I understand that she believes she is under attack. The only strategy that seems to work is for me to remove myself to a safe distance until the agitation subsides. Medication seems to have had little effect in addressing these episodes, the Mirtazapine has improved her sleep.
She was due a review with the psychiatrist last month. The Admiral nurse has been checking in with me once a month during lockdown and said she would pursue the review on my behalf with the psychiatrist. I am still waiting to hear from him.
I get carers in 4 mornings a week, and from next week it will increase to 6. It allows me to go walking, which is heavenly. I manage to do yoga at home. I have been on a Second Nature programme, run under the auspices of the NHS since January and have lost 24lb and feel fitter than I had been. It helps me cope better as a carer.
Lockdown isn't much different to where we had got to before March as my wife found travelling any distance difficult. Our last trip to our younger daughter was just under a year ago. Since then she came to see us, though not since January. That said I keep in regular touch with family, friends and the Dementia Cafe in the local town which has a WhatsApp group and newsletter. I also have socially distanced meeting with a neighbour who was a carer for his gran before she died last Decmber.. I am mindful of Covid19 so limit contact with others.
I am looking forward to hearing from other carers about their experiences. I find the group meeting of carers we have at the cafe very beneficial. It's like the burden is being shared.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,600
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Figgie

It sounds as though you know how to handle the situation when your wife starts to become aggressive. I found it best to leave the room when I could see my dad's hackles start to rise!

You'll find plenty of people to chat with here who understand exactly how it is 🙂
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,304
69
Dundee
Hi @Figgie and welcome to the forum.

I’m sorry to hear that your wife is becoming aggressive. You’re right to leave the room when you see the signs of aggression. Although you know how to handle the situation it might be worth having another chat with your wife’s GP and the Admiral Nurse to let them know about these episodes.

I’m glad you have these self help strategies in place for yourself. You’ll also get lots of help and support from members of this forum. Keep posting!!
 

Figgie

New member
May 15, 2019
3
Many thanks Izzy. I also had a reply from Sophie. It's good to know there are people out there rooting for you.
 

Figgie

New member
May 15, 2019
3
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Figgie

It sounds as though you know how to handle the situation when your wife starts to become aggressive. I found it best to leave the room when I could see my dad's hackles start to rise!

You'll find plenty of people to chat with here who understand exactly how it is 🙂
Many thanks for your response. It's good to know there are people who understand.
 

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