Obsessions

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
Hi. I am new today on here. My husband is 51 and has was diagnosed with alzheimers a couple of months ago. They say he has probably had this for a few years and even though the scans showed things happening this was not picked up til lately.Thank you all for your ideas with obsessions, my husbands obsession is that his mum is there cooking for him and me and my daughter have to go and find the pie she has made. He is also obsessed with jeremy kyle and our mornings are on hold til jeremy has finished. After reading your comments on here i am glad i now know that a small lie to him doesnt hurt, it was hard to lying to him as we have never lied to each other, but if it helps. He is also on medication now, started two weeks ago.
hubby has been on his meds for 2 weeks now, and his obsessions have got a little better, he isnt checking the door as often, but is still convinced there is someone else here in the evenings. On the good side he is eating a bit better that last few days, I hope you hubby is helped by the meds, we have been going to alz cafe, and also an active club, not that Phil likes going out but he has enjoyed the two mornings. He seems better and not as bothered with the door etc when we get back. Our diagnosis was in November, so early days for us as well. Take care
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Hi. I am new today on here. My husband is 51 and has was diagnosed with alzheimers a couple of months ago. They say he has probably had this for a few years and even though the scans showed things happening this was not picked up til lately.Thank you all for your ideas with obsessions, my husbands obsession is that his mum is there cooking for him and me and my daughter have to go and find the pie she has made. He is also obsessed with jeremy kyle and our mornings are on hold til jeremy has finished. After reading your comments on here i am glad i now know that a small lie to him doesnt hurt, it was hard to lying to him as we have never lied to each other, but if it helps. He is also on medication now, started two weeks ago.
Hi tinytee and welcome to TP. :) You'll get loads of support and advice, from a lovely group of helpful people. I can sympathise with having to endure Jeremy Kyle! :eek: You could watch JK, go to sleep for a fortnight, wake up, and whoever was on the JK programme then, wouldn't be much different to who was on before.

AD lies are perfectly acceptable, be they big or small. Last year my late DH rushed into the bathroom, to tell me that Mrs Thatcher was in the hall, and how could he speak to her in his pyjamas? It would have made no difference me telling him

(a) I was in my nightie
(b) Mrs Thatcher would not be visiting our humble abode
(c) She was dead

Instead, I waltzed into the hall, and, speaking to the wall, said "Hallo Margaret, how lovely of you to call! But, I'm so sorry it's not really convenient at the moment". I then opened the front door, called to the air "mind how you go!", and shut the door.

I then had a chat with John agreeing with him that her secretary should have called in advance, and PMs couldn't expect people to drop everything, just cos they wanted to call round.

A whole crock of lies, but it didn't hurt a soul, and John didn't get agitated and distressed by me telling him that he didn't know what he was talking about. Good luck. :)
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello tinytee welcome to TP you will find lots of help and advice from wonderful people having much the same problems as us. My hubby talks to David Cameron everyday he is his best friend, he thinks he wants him in the government. He doesn't like Jeremy Kyle, but he does talk to Steven Fry when he is on TV, also the news readers, it is so sad, take care ♡♡♡
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Hello tinytee welcome to TP you will find lots of help and advice from wonderful people having much the same problems as us. My hubby talks to David Cameron everyday he is his best friend, he thinks he wants him in the government. He doesn't like Jeremy Kyle, but he does talk to Steven Fry when he is on TV, also the news readers, it is so sad, take care ♡♡♡
David Cameron? Stephen Fry? Sorry to laugh, but some of these things are so funny when you read them, though obviously not when it's happening to you. John spent a considerable amount of time on an Environmental Committee, somewhere "up North". Apparently, they waited breathlessly for all his suggestions, but then the barstewards claimed them as their own.

He resigned. :D
 

sinkhole

Registered User
Jan 28, 2015
273
When we went to the memory clinic, my aunt revealed that she'd been into space. Something she hadn't mentioned to me before.:rolleyes:

She then went on to explain how she used to be a monkey (or possibly a chimpanzee) but at some point in her past, changed into a human being.

I'm wondering now if she might have seen '2001:A Space Odyssey' when it was on TV recently :confused:
 

tomgee3425

Registered User
Feb 3, 2014
33
Negombo Sri Lanka
Talking to 'people'

John used to insist that there were other people in his "dormitory" and he couldn't get to sleep, because they were making so much noise. About 3 years ago, when he said this, my response was probably along the lines of "well there's nobody there, what can I do".

Last year it was to march to his bedroom door, put my head round and say "you lot can bl**dy-well clear out, this is John's private room, so go now. That's right .... all of you, now." Then I opened, and closed the front door.

Worked a treat. :)
Wow Scarlett123. My OH has been constantly talking to people who are imaginary. This morning was no different until I read your post. I then shouted 'get out of here NOW and don't come back' Instantly she stopped talking, said thank you (a rare occasion) and is now peaceful and quiet. Thanks so much
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Wow Scarlett123. My OH has been constantly talking to people who are imaginary. This morning was no different until I read your post. I then shouted 'get out of here NOW and don't come back' Instantly she stopped talking, said thank you (a rare occasion) and is now peaceful and quiet. Thanks so much
It's amazing how something can work so effectively isn't it. :D It avoids arguments, distress, and the results are often instantaneous. I think it conveys to the "patient", for want of another word, that you believe them, you are on their side, and you're going to do something about it immediately.

Let's hope your peace continues. :)
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
It's amazing how something can work so effectively isn't it. :D It avoids arguments, distress, and the results are often instantaneous. I think it conveys to the "patient", for want of another word, that you believe them, you are on their side, and you're going to do something about it immediately.

Let's hope your peace continues. :)
Wonderful advice as usual Scarlett, have been told that Parkinsons may be responsible for his hallucinations, rather than the AZ, but whichever causes them, the little untruths seem to work for a while anyway. Take care
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
carers assessment

well at last contact and having a telephone assessment this afternoon, any advice would be appreciated.

Things have been going slowly downhill, incontinent every night now, and I have had to move into his room (mattress on the floor - but trying to sort that today ) yesterday as he was frightened because I had opened the bedroom window, just a bit to try and freshen the room, so someone might have got in, and be hiding in the house. Going to the consultant for MRI results a week today, the meds have already been upped, and I cant say they are doing anything at all. We have good days and really bad days when all he does is swear at me, and refuse to eat. Some days he will help me in the garden, some days not, thank goodness for a bit of sunshine, it always lifts the spirits. :)
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello mabbs nice to hear from you, you are doing your best to look after your hubby, not an easy task as we all know, keep posting.
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
fear

I dread the evenings now, Phil is so unsettled ,it would seem we have a bogeyman living in the house, that is terrifying Phil, he is checking the front and back doors, and now the internal doors have to be shut, curtains drawn around 6pm, even though its full daylight. And everything has to be checked and double checked, sometimes he chcks and then sits down, 10 secs later he is up again, and the same checking has to be done. On the up side he did have a dry night last night, which is a result. The wet nights are almost constant now, at least he is mostly dry in the day. Donepezil does not seem to be slowing anything, he was only diagnosed 6 months ago, seems impossible we are so far down the road already. MRI results Thursday so hope that might shine a light on why things have deteriorated so quickly. Parkinsons and prostrate cancer making things wosre as well. Thank goodness for the sunshine at least its getting warmer and things dont seem so bad in the sunshine, mabbs
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
I dread the evenings now, Phil is so unsettled ,it would seem we have a bogeyman living in the house, that is terrifying Phil, he is checking the front and back doors, and now the internal doors have to be shut, curtains drawn around 6pm, even though its full daylight. And everything has to be checked and double checked, sometimes he chcks and then sits down, 10 secs later he is up again, and the same checking has to be done. On the up side he did have a dry night last night, which is a result. The wet nights are almost constant now, at least he is mostly dry in the day. Donepezil does not seem to be slowing anything, he was only diagnosed 6 months ago, seems impossible we are so far down the road already. MRI results Thursday so hope that might shine a light on why things have deteriorated so quickly. Parkinsons and prostrate cancer making things wosre as well. Thank goodness for the sunshine at least its getting warmer and things dont seem so bad in the sunshine, mabbs
So sorry Mabbs it's so hard looking after a loved one with dementia . Try and look after yourself too and get a little "me" time every now and then. My husband gets also confused in the evening it's a bit of sundowning I think ! I hope you will have an easier evening. Thinking of you xx


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Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
So sorry, Mabbs..
Things seem to have changed fast for you recently, and the fearfulness must be hard to live with. My husband has been obsessed with keys and locking doors for ages, and now takes his wallet to bed with him in his pyjama pocket. Anybody who comes into the house mustn't be left on their own in case they go through our things.You'd think we lived in a neighbourhood full of sneak thieves and other bad eggs all intent on pillaging, when actually, it's quite law abiding round here.

Perhaps these things will pass. I hope so. I'm fed up with his asking if I've locked up, and checking his keys, and his losing them...they're never lost, just in a different hiding place. Now I have several sets, so he can always find some.
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
So sorry Mabbs it's so hard looking after a loved one with dementia . Try and look after yourself too and get a little "me" time every now and then. My husband gets also confused in the evening it's a bit of sundowning I think ! I hope you will have an easier evening. Thinking of you xx


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me time would be nice chick, had a carers assessment last week, and SS to be contacted to see if I can get a few hours a week, or maybe even daycare, evenings are definitely getting worse.
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
me time would be nice chick, had a carers assessment last week, and SS to be contacted to see if I can get a few hours a week, or maybe even daycare, evenings are definitely getting worse.
Aww good that you had carers assessment after mine I got 3 hours care a week from Crossroads but so far that's all I am getting but it's a start :) my nights are bad tbh OH is up at least 4 times if not more and usually I give up sleeping by 3am . Hope this evening will be better for you xx


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mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
So sorry, Mabbs..
Things seem to have changed fast for you recently, and the fearfulness must be hard to live with. My husband has been obsessed with keys and locking doors for ages, and now takes his wallet to bed with him in his pyjama pocket. Anybody who comes into the house mustn't be left on their own in case they go through our things.You'd think we lived in a neighbourhood full of sneak thieves and other bad eggs all intent on pillaging, when actually, it's quite law abiding round here.

Perhaps these things will pass. I hope so. I'm fed up with his asking if I've locked up, and checking his keys, and his losing them...they're never lost, just in a different hiding place. Now I have several sets, so he can always find some.



Hi Raggedy Ann, its not so much stealing things he is bothered about, although we went through a stage where every night someone was trying to steal the car, he couldnt hear me talking to him, but he could hear 'them' whispering outside at night!! he is concerned that the someone who has snuck into the house probably through a keyhole, as no other way in, is going to kill him, while he is in his bed. I have put another bed in his room, and he is more relaxed now I am in there with him, I have been in the spare room for a long time, not sure if I am supposed to save him, or the bogeyman will go for me first!!:)
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello mabbs so sorry you are having a bad time, my hubby went through the checking doors àll night, but that phase has gone, but another one starts. Pleased you are going to have MRI scan done let us know the outcome, it will be good for you to get some help
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,005
Scotland
This must be so common. John not only checks and double checks but barricades the doors with a chair, bags of potatoes, my handbag! Anything to hand really. Our youngest daughter and family were here last week and John barricaded the front door with his walking sticks then couldn't get up off the floor. Son in law lifted him up and my daughter looked so worried when she was telling me.

Hard to picture a burglar being deterred by any of this stuff but it matters to John.

I hardly notice such situations anymore they are so frequent.
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
I guess I just have days when I find it so frustrating and upsetting, most days I take things in my stride, but the odd day it all becomes too much, Phil is sleeping a bit better now I am in the room, and glory be 2 dry nights - up 4 times, and now have to have a light on at night. I do hope the MRI has shown something definite, kids a talking about needing nursing home, because they worry when he has a bad day, but I don't think we are anywhere near that point yet, I would be happy with just a few hours a week, to recharge my batteries, then maybe I need to get him out more, he is not good at meeting others, roll on summer, even if we can sit in the garden for a while each day.