All I seem to do is 'ask' at the moment! When Mum and I saw one of Dad's docs yesterday we talked about the fact there were only 2 EMI homes 'locally' and I asked if the way Dad has gone downhill has changed his needs. (We've also made it clear we'd ideally like somewhere close to where Mum lives if poss so she can visit without me as I'm 50 miles away). Dad's needs have now been reassessed as being for Nursing rather than EMI Nursing (I think partly on the basis of his lung cancer, angina and what seems to be gastritis from taking aspirin), which gives us more options to look at locally. We did take the plunge and visit the closest EMI home on Sunday before this happened and neither Mum nor I were sure about it, most of the residents seemed far more mobile than Dad who can't walk at all at present and needs alot of personal care/encouragement/help to eat and drink and take medicine. One of the things I'm now worried about is what if Mum and I see all these nursing homes and the other EMI one that has been mentioned and end up feeling that Dad would be better off with one of the EMI nursing homes after all. I feel like I've maybe forced this change in the situation. Also have I messed up on the finance side for Dad (I think he'll be self funding initially)? I think they are trying to help us have more options but at the same time am wary of having the best for Dad of course.