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Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Aisling, Mar 25, 2016.
Appreciated. Thank you.
Aisling I am so sorry for the stress you're dealing with right now. Good luck with your meetings on Tuesday - your sister will be with you?
If T's present NH can't cope with the behavioural issues that are cropping up, then I so hope that you can find a NH that CAN deal with them.
Thing is, deterioration (however you want to describe it - physical, mental, whatever) is a given. It won't get better, no matter how much you want it to. It's not of your doing, it's the progress of the disease.
Mum's NH always (AFAIK) has male carers on duty - there are some hefty male residents in there - the place couldn't function fully without them!
Under FD you can transfer to another NH with approval x
Thanks Stanley. What is happening is disgraceful. He couldn't stay in first unit as not suitable for him acc to experts. Many young ill people staying in first unit who chatted to T, walked around with him etc. T had usual behaviour problems in mornings. Difficult but staff managed and T gets on well with anyone who relates to him.
I never thought I would get such aggravation.
I thought I understood carers problems with NH. I hadn't a clue.
Am finding it hard to keep up with threads at moment. I hope you and Sue are as OK as you can be.
Thank you. I will ask for NH that can deal with difficulties. There must be one somewhere. His present one is trained in Dem care...... The behavioural issues are in morning or centred around personal care which he hates. It is part of Alyzheimers for many people. They should have sorted his meds in first psyc unit where he was happy and relaxed. They just got on with the personal care as needed. Cheerful males.
I think meds monitoring can help but I don't think there is any magic tablet that can help him to cooperate with personal care.
Since he went into second unit, he is deteriorating daily. I go in everyday. My niece goes in too and he cooperates with her. His hair was cut when I saw him today. Nurse asked me if Iliked it.. I told her he never had such a short hair cut and I didn't like it. Yes maybe they cut his hair for handiness. It was normal length. He gave up on long hair and pony tails years ago.
Roll on meeting on Tuesday. He cannot stay in this environment as Icansee him giving up.
Hi Aisling. Just sending continued virtual support and a hug.
Keep posting. Keep posting.
I will. Pity they can't leave his hair alone and concentrate on curing his chest infection!! And tormenting him with daily showers!! Sweet mother of trees and flying pigs.
Aisling, hope today goes as well as it can for you and T. Only two more days till you get to talk to someone. Fingers crossed and hugs. X
They do the bizarrest things in nursing homes,i understand they shortstaffed etc but my folks clothes are often on other people and visaversa,i wash mums clothes at home so how do they end up on other people,have to laugh,they insist on changing dad everyday ,i mean he could wear same bottoms and jumper for 2days,change underwear,vest,socks daily of course,and then the daily shower ordeal,dad has no problems mobility or toilet wise atm.Sometimes you just have to laugh,as dad is well over 6foot tall yet his lovely red designer jumper was on a 5'6 random guy yesterday when i visited,much bigger issues i know but very frustrating.We all need to complain to hse about staff ratio etc
Or protest asap imo
Forgot to say goodluck Aisling
My Dad can lash out and did in one nursing home,tbf another resident used to constantly follow him around and invade his space constantly even when seated,there is a 3 strikes and your out'rule' at some of these places,so after 3 incidents dad was moved,it turned out better for him and he doesnt lash out anymore where he is now but things can change,he went through a stage of throwing his dentures away,must of paid for 6 pairs and they not cheap as the hse only pay for one every 5 year.Anyway hope you get some anserws and some form of peace soon.
Bit better today but favourite niece was with him. He always knows her TG.
3 strikes and out !! Sweet mother of trees!! Some of the rules defy logic!! T has gone through 3 pair of glasses!!not a sign of them! I wonder what kind of aggression / assertiveness is tolerated?? The basic problem with T is helping him with personal hygiene ie showers. It is a small Nursing Home, well staffed. Great camraderie between staff and residents. He can have breakfast whenever he wants it or even in bed. It is ideal place for T if an answer could be found re washing. He is a very strong man. Am praying that he can return to it. If not we may find another NH. This psyc unit doesn't suit him at all and deterioration started as soon as he arrived in it. I know he doesn't like the place. In my opinion they didn't look at deterioration in light of new surroundings or the infection. As we all know infections cause lots of problems.....
Some of his jumpers now fit a small teddy bear but I take no notice of this!! I get him acrylic jumpers now. Woollens a waste of time and money.
I can't see a tablet helping him to like showers.
His coordination for eating is poor so bits can spill on his clothes. Then they have to be changed. When I visited him in NH, I talked to all the residents and I wouldn't notice how they were dressed. Surely visitors understand.
Have informed all his family and advised no visitors for the moment. They keep telling me " he is not sick"!!
Loads of questions to be asked on Tuesday PG.
Thanks for all your support.
Hope you sleep, Aisling. I've taken some Night Nurse to help me nod off. Is that drug abuse, I wonder!?!
Pysc unit dont suit dad either but thats where he is as not much options
He seems to be the most ' with it 'resident so not ideal but best they can offer
Simply not enough grades of wards/nursing homes etc
Thinking of you, Aisling. X
Thinking of you and T. The biggest hugs sent to you both Aisling xxxx
How did Tuesday's meeting go Aisling? Thinking of you both x
Tim in hospital since Sunday. Suspect reaction to new drugs and toxic shock.On drip since Sunday. Spending days in with him. I just got home tonight. Med docs have him all all meds waiting for psyc team to review, he much calmer tonight. Hospital sent me home for sleep. You all know what it's like. I told psyc ward to get psy team down to him. He shouldn't be waiting for three days. D diners very high yesterday. They better come to him tomorrow or they will need to see a psychiatrist! Am sick of them at this stage. Med team are excellent. Ok he has alyzheimers but is sick now and this needs to be addressed.
Blessings to everyone.
Oh, Aisling. You poor love. Sending you a big hug - wish we could do more. xx
Am tired of his siblings telling me t is not sick. I went to see them all last week and told them he is very ill and am not bothering them again. They can drop into hospital in ones and short periods. The other invisibles are not getting anywhere near him. Sick of it all. Not my problem if siblings are in denial. Get over it!!! Rant rant........little did I know he would get very ill on Sunday with infections. Med staff in hospital are amazing. Waiting for psyc input for 4 days. In my opinion, not good enough so am on the war path now.
So sorry T is still unwell. Don't know what to say except to send support.
I'm glad you have confidence in his mdical team. Hope you get that psych appt very quickly. Wishing you strength. You must be exhausted. X