Mum has been in a nursing home almost 18 months now. It is a good nursing home. However I am learning to accept it isn't perfect but it is the best place for mum. For example, I am not always notified of mum's escapes . At one time there was one a week for quite a while. There was an incident in her previous section I wasn't told till approximately 10 days later. Her newspapers are accumulating again. Her clothes are not always right. They suggested I not visit the other week because of her delusions BUT mum is someone who screams and accuses and tries to leave by smashing the front door. She comes down daily to abuse the director. Mum is hard work and they deal with her. They talk lovely to her , they still, try to get her on the bus knowing she probably won't and if she does there is a good chance she will come back cranky. She wanders around the main foyer area and they give her jobs to do because she thinks she works there. They encourage her to attend the daily exercises in the dementia unit. They ensure that a staff member has lunch with her every day to encourage eating. I have never ever seen mum fearful there. My whines are just that and if mum is safe ,warm, protected and cared for then I need to go with the flow. I think sometimes I feel like they do it all for mum and I don't always get a say in her life. They want to do the memory book for her . Not me They don't want the apron I suggested for her because they state it won't suit her. I do accept what they say because they are the experts and mum doesn't have the same interests as before but it is actually quite difficult to not insist. I do know they really do consider her and what they think is best for her it is just sometimes I feel like they do all the decisions for her and the control and not me Btw this really is just a whinge and a vent.