Nursing Homes are refusing to take my husband

[paddiwak]

My husband has recently been assessed as requiring nursing care which his CH doesn't provide. The CHC gave me a list of homes that had beds available. I have now had my husband assessed by 3 of them who have come back and said they cannot meet his needs and that he would not fit in with their other residents. This has left me an emotional wreck as my husband is neither aggressive nor violent but during 'sundowning' does have challenging behaviour. The CH have been given one to one for OH until a NH is found for him. As it's a BH there is no-one in the CHC office that I can talk to so I suppose everything will have to stay in abeyance until Tuesday.
I thought dementia NH were there to care for dementia residents with challenging behaviour, I didn't realise they could cherry pick their residents, I suppose its so they can get good reviews.
As he is now in the care of CHC I do not have a social worker that I can talk to.
The staff at his CH cannot believe that 3 homes have turned him down
I'm waiting to hear from a 4th NH who assessed him last evening but their are others on the list ahead of him for the room. It will all depend on whether the manager deems us as being more in need of the room than the others.
I just feel a total wreck

 

[love.dad.but..]

My dad was turned down by 2 dementia care homes my AS home support worker at the time who had good experience of deeementia care homes as a mental health nurse also was surprised. He was not physically aggressive but did have other challenging presentation. He self funded so SS were not involved. I was also desperate because of my own changing circumstances and like you was so disappointed and upset at both refusals however having had my dad in a dementia NH for nearly 3 years until end of life I can see a NH side of things. They have been honest in their refusal...a new resident with any challenges has to fit in with their already probably stretched staffing levels with their already challenging residents and the need to maintain a good balance of those who have non challenging dementia and those who do...for the good management of the home current residents and staff. I have no experience of funded placement system and the way forward but someone will no doubt be along to offer advice and I hope the 4th offers hope even on a waiting list as most homes have.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @paddiwak
I am not surprised you are feeling so bad
I was under the impression that with CHC funding (am I understanding that correctly) there came a CHC 'advisor' or contact to help you - might well be worth asking about this
and maybe contact Admiral Nurses for some support
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/
indeed the operators on the AS helpline have quite a bit of knowledge about CHC issues, maybe call to have a chat
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline
0300 222 11 22
they are available today until 4

 

[Kevinl]

The problem is that the nursing home is a community, the residents, the staff and all the relatives and the home need to feel that someone will fit into their community, bit like an interview for a job, it's not just the qualifications it's how a prospective employer see you fitting into their existing team as much as how qualified you are so, yes, they do cherry pick the residents.
The home my wife's in use, what I'm told is quite a common system, all the residents are assessed and given points in various areas; self toileting gats a low score double incontinence gets a high score high score, various areas are feeding, mobility, nursing needs, behaviour...I think there's about 10 areas.
The number of staff is determined by the number of points more points more staff so when the nurse went off to do some assessment last week she was told "not too many points" by the manager, basically we're up at the top end of the points many more and one more member of staff will be needed on both days and nights and that means the home will have to hire 5 more carers.
My prediction is that when the new people arrive they'll be very low maintenance to keep the points down, sometime the home find it easier to leave rooms empty as it's cheaper than staffing up.
Sorry but that's what you're up against.
K

 

[paddiwak]

Thank you all for your replies,they made very interesting reading. I hadn't realised NH had such a points system but when laid out like you all have I can now see more clearly where the problems may lie. OH is partly incontinent and cannot find his way to the toilet so I've suggested to the staff that if they see him fiddling with his trousers it usually means he needs the toilet. Now they are all on board with that fact there do seem to be less accidents that way. At mealtimes he doesn't now seem able to realise that he needs to cut his food up. If I'm there and try to cut it up for him he becomes irritable with me but will let a staff member do it for him. I suppose he doesn't want me to think he's incapable of doing something like feeding himself. We have an appointed member ofthe CHC team but with it being a bank holiday she is off until Wednesday. I'm hoping to receive an answer from the 4th NH on Tuesday and if it's favourable hope that there is someone in the CHC office who can make a decision or at least talk to the manager of the NH.
So all I can do is wait with fingers crossed.

 

[Tired Team Leader]

@paddiwak I'm unsure why the care home feel he needs nursing home care. Understanding signals of when a residents needs the bathroom and knowing when to cut up someones food is basic care. Challenging behaviour should be within the remit of what a care home does for its residents.

All the very best with finding a place and soon.

 

[paddiwak]

@paddiwak I'm unsure why the care home feel he needs nursing home care. Understanding signals of when a residents needs the bathroom and knowing when to cut up someones food is basic care. Challenging behaviour should be within the remit of what a care home does for its residents.

All the very best with finding a place and soon.

Thankfully the 4th N H came up trumps and accepted my OH. My heart sank when I first went into the building as it is at least 100 years old but I have to say that the care David is receiving is second to none. The unit is smaller and he does seem to be settling. His dementia unit was on the 3rd floor but today they are being moved to the ground floor which has just been refurbished for them. It will give easier access to the actiivity room and also to the garden, which hopefully will make life pleasanter for them.
When I visited yesterday he had been taken out with other residents by the two young activity co-ordinators, they went to a petting zoo and David looked as if he was enjoying himself, he likes it when I take him out. His last CH didn't take him out, when asked why I was told he said he didn't want to go, an easy out I think as I just used to say 'get your coat and we are going out for a cup of tea'.
It's going to be another change for him but with the help of the caring staff I think he should be OK, fingers crossed.

 

[canary]

Im so pleased to hear that you have found a good nursing home. Yes, decor and outward stuff like that can sometimes be offputting, but it really doesnt matter - its the care that is important and Im glad that you managed to see beyond appearances.
xx