Nursing Home closed to all visitors.

marshal

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
68
Now the schools will shut we are into new and untested waters.
should a care facility lose too many staff then what is the obvious answer?
Ask friends and family to come and help!
[Weasell, That is a great idea. Makes sense as the relatives already know the residents so to offer help even if it is the smallest of tasks ,it is less work for the care staff. I did think that just being in my husbands room to feed ,give drinks ,any of the little things I would normally do would be of benefit to the care staff.
 

marshal

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
68
Morning, it is midnight. Having difficulty sleeping. I too have visited my wife who is in a Care Home every day for the last 3 months. She was admitted direct from hospital having had a severe infection over Christmas. Diagnosed with FT L. her memory is declining. Early yesterday morning I received a call to say that there was total lockdown. Having expected this I had started the process of seeking a Care Package with the view of bringing my wife home.
I have made the decision to do this despite a couple of options put forward by the Care Home Management.
Neither of us would be able to confront an enforced 4 month plus seperation. Would she still recognise me? we have been married for 51 years next month. Challenging behaviour by a couple of residents coupled with a lengthy delegation left me no alternative. I hope I have made the right decision and we will both value the time we have left together. We are self funded and I have POA which makes this process easier, but it doesn't dilute the stress or sadness of the situation. Yardman
Test assured you are not alone in this journey. Yardman
Having just read your message I had to send a reply. I wish I could be brave enough to do just what you are doing. I want too with all my heart... My head tells me, No. My man is bedbound but still displays challenging behaviour for any personal care and I would not be able to physically man handle him myself for the slightest adjustment in his bed just to make him comfortable never mind changing pads etc. I know some one will mention a care package but I think our needs go beyond what that would cover. I wish you well in your plan and really hope you get your lady home. Just had call from NH, HAVE TO GO
 

Liz12

New member
Mar 19, 2020
6
Manchester
I normally see my mum every day but the home stopped visitors last Wednesday. I complained to the head office of the nursing home chain and they listened sympathetically.

I was really worried that she would not recognise me when this was over or that I would never get to see her again.

They have set up Skype for residents and I was the tester yesterday. My mum was a bit bewildered at first but staff stayed with her. She was able to say my name but other than that was mainly silent. However the member of staff informed me that she kept stroking my face on the screen. It made my day and hopefully hers.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,829
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Liz12

How lovely that your mum’s carehome managed to find a way for you to stay in touch with her and that she recognised you on the screen.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,751
South East
Having just read your message I had to send a reply. I wish I could be brave enough to do just what you are doing. I want too with all my heart... My head tells me, No. My man is bedbound but still displays challenging behaviour for any personal care and I would not be able to physically man handle him myself for the slightest adjustment in his bed just to make him comfortable never mind changing pads etc. I know some one will mention a care package but I think our needs go beyond what that would cover. I wish you well in your plan and really hope you get your lady home. Just had call from NH, HAVE TO GO
Hope your beloved husband has settled now @marshal .
 

Leeane

New member
Mar 19, 2020
1
Good evening, I am also going through a similar situation and understand how very distressing this is. My mother is in nursing care with vascular dementia. She has been residing there for approximately 1 year and was just beginning to settle. I was told last week that the nursing home would be closed to all visitors due to the coronavirus. My mother is 88 years of age and has always enjoyed her family visiting her. I used to be mum's carer before we could no longer care for her at home and it broke my heart to have to make the decision to put her into care. As we share a very close bond it was absolutely devastating to hear the news that I and family members, including her husband of 92 years of age would not be able to see her. I haven't seen her for a week no and I am really fretting now as I am very concerned that she will withdraw if she doesn't see her family for a long period of time, and we are not sure how long this will go on for. I do understand providers need to take steps to protect residents and staff but they also should consider the wellbeing of residents and the positive impact of seeing family and friends. without any communication from the people who love her I think she will get very anxious and feel abandoned without being able to understand why. It almost feels like a bereavement and so worried I might not see her again. I am now thinking should I bring her home to be with her family so that we can extend her precious life that she has left.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
Mum’s care home is still open to next of kin visitors. I understand the benefits of contact but I am a bit concerned
just wondered if any other care homes are still allowing visitors
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,796
Maybe yours think it is OK as there aren’t many residents yet, so visitors can be kept at a distance @Bikerbeth . I wouldn’t go often, if you do go. Mums home is posting tons on social media, and family could go at set times today for Mothering Sunday to wave through the window at their mums. I’m not doing that as mum wouldn’t see me or understand why I can’t come in. It’s good to see mum looking happy even if it is only on Facebook, and I’m sure there are times when she isn’t!
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,458
Mum's home had initially asked that family reduced non-essential visits but from Friday has stated that family should only visit if "absolutely essential", with all visits to be pre-arranged in advance with the manager - family members should not just turn up unannounced. So whilst they haven't gone as far as banning all visits I imagine that only something like an EOL visit would be considered "absolutely essential". They have said that they will arrange Skype calls if required and I'm hoping that they will let me drop off a Mother's day card in reception if I call and pre-arrange this. I'm not sure if a Skype call would confuse and upset Mum or if she would be OK, and am worried that she will forget me or worry where I am if she goes weeks/months without seeing me, but we'll just have to try to get through this as best we can as I'd rather she was protected as much as possible.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,796
I haven't seen it yet, but mum's home have set up a safe table outside (I assume in the lobby between the entrance doors and the doors to reception) for relatives to drop things off. I'm going up there tomorrow to drop off something I promised for the activities co-ordinator.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
Maybe yours think it is OK as there aren’t many residents yet, so visitors can be kept at a distance @Bikerbeth . I wouldn’t go often, if you do go. Mums home is posting tons on social media, and family could go at set times today for Mothering Sunday to wave through the window at their mums. I’m not doing that as mum wouldn’t see me or understand why I can’t come in. It’s good to see mum looking happy even if it is only on Facebook, and I’m sure there are times when she isn’t!
Thanks @Sarasa. They did have next of kin there today and Mum asked if I was going. I did go and although it probably did not help much I did walk around the garden with her and avoided the inside of the home.
 

Liz12

New member
Mar 19, 2020
6
Manchester
I last posted that my Mum's nursing home had gone into lockdown on the 12th March. I got a call from them at 06.30 on Mothering Sunday to say she was unwell and going into hospital. I met her there and stayed with her until Monday night when I went home to shower, eat etc.. I got a call Tuesday am to say she was very, very unwell and has Coronavirus. I am now self isolating for 14 days and am worried. She is 90 with lots of underlying conditions besides her dementia but has shown some signs of improvement and no longer needs oxygen (she needed 6 litres on Tuesday). She is far from out of the woods yet but the staff have been fantastic and the medical staff themselves have phoned me daily with an update. They have also asked lots of questions about her dementia and how best to look after her even though they are really stretched.
 

everdrew89

Registered User
Nov 21, 2012
37
Morning, it is midnight. Having difficulty sleeping. I too have visited my wife who is in a Care Home every day for the last 3 months. She was admitted direct from hospital having had a severe infection over Christmas. Diagnosed with FT L. her memory is declining. Early yesterday morning I received a call to say that there was total lockdown. Having expected this I had started the process of seeking a Care Package with the view of bringing my wife home.
I have made the decision to do this despite a couple of options put forward by the Care Home Management.
Neither of us would be able to confront an enforced 4 month plus seperation. Would she still recognise me? we have been married for 51 years next month. Challenging behaviour by a couple of residents coupled with a lengthy delegation left me no alternative. I hope I have made the right decision and we will both value the time we have left together. We are self funded and I have POA which makes this process easier, but it doesn't dilute the stress or sadness of the situation. Yardman
Test assured you are not alone in this journey. Yardman
Hello Yardman. I was happy to read your post just now ... I am thinking of doing what you have done ... Just wanted to ask how it's going and what sort of 'contingency' planning you've got in place, eg if you get ill etc ... Many thanks xxx
 

Mr Rusty

Registered User
Jul 14, 2014
14
London
Hi all, Im in a similar position to many - my 91 year old mum's care home has been locked down for the last two weeks. Obviously a good thing to close the doors but I've been sick with worry every day. Hearing the news about what has happened in Spain makes my blood run cold. I cant stand the thought of not being with her if she got sick and not being able to say goodbye should the worst happen.

One thing I can recommend though is getting an Amazon Echo Show installed in your loved one's room. It has a 'drop in' feature which means that mum doesn't have to do anything to answer my video call (any technology baffles her) . I can literally just pop up on her screen any time using the app on my phone, as long as there is a wifi connection at the home. Obviously now with the lockdown you would need to reply on the staff to set it up. But it has been a godsend.

Good luck everyone.