Nursing Home closed to all visitors.

marshal

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
66
My OH nursing home is now closed to all none essential visitors. This includes all relatives. As my loved one is in hospital till Monday I get a couple more days able to see him. This visiting ban is going to be so difficult to handle as I and my daughters visit every day. I understand the reasons behind this decision but I feel this will be so hard to have to do it is just one more thing that will break my heart .All we can offer our life partners in their final months is reassurance ,comfort, company and our abounding love. Now I can't even do that.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
195
Huddersfield
Closed my mum care home today carers won't answer your questions manager's we're not in to take your questions been told anything up to 2 to 14 weeks by a nurse dad going to be isolated at home soon as he over 70 I'm 48 and work and don't know what to do and I feeling depressed in myself as well knowing I might not see my mum until it could be to late plus my dad won't cope with his health issues and also can't see his NHS appointments going ahead for his kidney scan can't sleep I feel my life is basically over at the moment
 
Last edited:

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,695
Kent
It`s a dreadful situation all round @jelba

Perhaps the care staff and manager at your mother`s home won`t answer your questions simply because they don`t know the answers. I`ve seen some interviewers on television ask MPs and other `specialists` the most difficult questions and because this virus is so new, no one can answer.

I`m one who will soon be isolated but don`t have the health issues your dad has. I don`t know what might happen about his scan. Kidney disease is very serious so perhaps his scan may go ahead.

Someone has just phoned local radio about an appointment for a scan and they were advised to go unless they hear the scan has been cancelled.
 

Alex54

Registered User
Oct 15, 2018
274
Newtown, Wales
The problem is people are panicking because as @Grannie G points out: "they don`t know the answers"

I am sure within a week or so there will be government advice regarding care home visits. Plus I am sure all care homes are watching each other seeing what each are doing.

Concentrate on the things you can do, like pestering your local MP and social services to allow visits.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,574
Bristol
So sorry @jelba and @marshal. I see my partner every day and am struggling, so can't imagine how hard it is for you. I hope you dad's kidney scan goes ahead and there's good news, jelba.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
1,789
I don't think that anyone here is in a position to know what might happen. Hospital resources will be very stretched so routine appointments may be postponed - I guess it will depend on how urgent the appointment is considered to be. At the moment self-isolation is being suggested, not a complete lock down restricting all movement, so best to keep an eye on official announcements to see how things are likely to progress over the next few weeks. The hospital will no doubt be in touch if they decide to cancel the appointment.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
195
Huddersfield
Waiting for the 4 o clock meeting but think they are going to close it off to visitors after that got mum up in chair only consolation
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,319
66
Toronto, Canada
When my mother was in care, we went through quite a few lockdowns over the 13+ years she was in the nursing home. The SARS outbreak was one of them. In fact, she had just moved to the nursing home and first there was a gastro outbreak, so there was closure for about 2 weeks and then there was the SARS outbreak. 2015 was a particularly bad year for lockdowns also. I found it very difficult not being able to go in but I would phone and get updates.
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
195
Huddersfield
Closed my mum care home yesterday morning found out on the website dad taking it pretty bad and suffers with depression which could easily bring on another stroke if not careful
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,008
I went to see mum today and to help out with a poetry session. I was due back on Saturday to carry on, but just had the message that the home is closed to visitors except in exceptional circumstances. It is a shame, but the activities co-ordinator is trying to make sure there is stuff to keep the residents entertained. Mum is certainly in the best place and I'll try and make sure I send things over to her. I hope it won't be for too long.
 

Joancz

Registered User
Oct 2, 2019
25
My OH nursing home is now closed to all none essential visitors. This includes all relatives. As my loved one is in hospital till Monday I get a couple more days able to see him. This visiting ban is going to be so difficult to handle as I and my daughters visit every day. I understand the reasons behind this decision but I feel this will be so hard to have to do it is just one more thing that will break my heart .All we can offer our life partners in their final months is reassurance ,comfort, company and our abounding love. Now I can't even do that.
Hi marshal, my mums carehome has been closed to visitors for a week now and it feels like forever. I was told the doors will be closed for 2 weeks, but I'm not sure how things will have improved enough in order to start visiting again. My mum also gets a visit everyday and it's really hard to take. I wish I could offer you some good news, but we'll just have to ride this storm, and the temporary hardhsip is worthwhile
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
138
Now the schools will shut we are into new and untested waters.
should a care facility lose too many staff then what is the obvious answer?
Ask friends and family to come and help!
 

Jackimags

Registered User
Mar 1, 2019
142
South yorkshire
My OH nursing home is now closed to all none essential visitors. This includes all relatives. As my loved one is in hospital till Monday I get a couple more days able to see him. This visiting ban is going to be so difficult to handle as I and my daughters visit every day. I understand the reasons behind this decision but I feel this will be so hard to have to do it is just one more thing that will break my heart .All we can offer our life partners in their final months is reassurance ,comfort, company and our abounding love. Now I can't even do that.
Hi
i could have written your post! My hubby who has fronto temporal dementia went into care at the end of September. We are both 72. It was the saddest day of my life when he was admitted to the home. He is extremely well cared for but like you I visited every day to help him with his lunch/ drinks. He is no longer mobile and has the speech variant of FTD so we can no longer have a conversation. I visited him last Friday lunchtime and then got a call in the afternoon to say the home was now closed to visitors. It broke my heart knowing I couldnt go in to see him anymore. I was slowly getting used to being at home on my own which you know is extremely hard - and then along comes coronavirus and now Ime self isolating due to my age. Only 11 weeks at best to go!!!!!
one of my biggest fears is that when we can eventually visit again he won’t remember me. Added to all this it is our Golden Wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks and we will have to spend it apart. It’s upsetting me just to write this. 12 months ago I wouldn’t have believed we could be in this situation now
 

marshal

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
66
Today my love was discharged from hospital back to his nursing home. I am glad his infection has cleared and was grateful for the extra hours of visiting, to be with him as his nursing home has been closed to all, since last week. I was not allowed to go with him so I took myself off home when the transport arrived with a plan to do a couple of errands and phone the home after their tea time ( less busy) to check all was well . I came off the phone totally distressed and in floods of tears. It seems when they arrived the 2 big,strong, male attendants with the transport refused to transfer my LO to his bed from the trolley so the care assistants had to take on this role . My husband is a very frightened ,confused , dementia patient willing to fight off anyone who he deems to be manhandling him . Needless to say the transfer was not easy.I was informed the two guys just stood back and waited for their trolley. I have witnessed before trips to and from hospital for my man and all have been smooth and and uneventful . Why? because the transfers have been done with North West Ambulance with their amazing paramedics in attendance ,showing the care, understanding, humour and kindness to my love from the very first moment they clap eyes on him. Today it seems the transport was 'patient transfer' A different outfit altogether. Not much of a step up from RING AND RIDE by our experience. No empathy , no compassion and no Help !. What my husband has gone through these last months has been horrendous , so for this extra trauma today on a simple transfer just broke me and distressed him dreadfully. I don't know why I have put this post on ,I think I just wanted to get it off my chest. Not sure if my anger is overriding my heartache at this moment but the tears keep falling. I cannot even go to see him to give him a love and some reassurance. Oh God ,I hate this .
 

marshal

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
66
Hi
i could have written your post! My hubby who has fronto temporal dementia went into care at the end of September. We are both 72. It was the saddest day of my life when he was admitted to the home. He is extremely well cared for but like you I visited every day to help him with his lunch/ drinks. He is no longer mobile and has the speech variant of FTD so we can no longer have a conversation. I visited him last Friday lunchtime and then got a call in the afternoon to say the home was now closed to visitors. It broke my heart knowing I couldnt go in to see him anymore. I was slowly getting used to being at home on my own which you know is extremely hard - and then along comes coronavirus and now Ime self isolating due to my age. Only 11 weeks at best to go!!!!!
one of my biggest fears is that when we can eventually visit again he won’t remember me. Added to all this it is our Golden Wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks and we will have to spend it apart. It’s upsetting me just to write this. 12 months ago I wouldn’t have believed we could be in this situation now
Hi Jakimags, Thank's for your reply. Sorry to hear you are in this awful whirlpool of emotions as are thousands of other partners and loved ones. How are we expected to handle this separation from our partners at a time when they are so vunerable and confused. 55yrs together through thick and thin .Good times and bad, but always a loving and caring couple. Now this half of the couple cannot even hold the hand of her man who is fading away and needs comfort.HOW CRUEL IS THAT.
 

Yardman

Registered User
Dec 14, 2019
21
Morning, it is midnight. Having difficulty sleeping. I too have visited my wife who is in a Care Home every day for the last 3 months. She was admitted direct from hospital having had a severe infection over Christmas. Diagnosed with FT L. her memory is declining. Early yesterday morning I received a call to say that there was total lockdown. Having expected this I had started the process of seeking a Care Package with the view of bringing my wife home.
I have made the decision to do this despite a couple of options put forward by the Care Home Management.
Neither of us would be able to confront an enforced 4 month plus seperation. Would she still recognise me? we have been married for 51 years next month. Challenging behaviour by a couple of residents coupled with a lengthy delegation left me no alternative. I hope I have made the right decision and we will both value the time we have left together. We are self funded and I have POA which makes this process easier, but it doesn't dilute the stress or sadness of the situation. Yardman
Test assured you are not alone in this journey. Yardman
 

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