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Isobel19660

Registered User
Feb 5, 2015
17
Mum had Alzheimer's diagnosis last year and is on medication. Not sure if she is taking them correctly but she seems fairly stable.

Meantime dad has memory test at docs and doc was shocked at how badly he did. He will refer him to memory clinic, brain scan etc for diagnosis.

The thought of both of them having this horrid incurable disease fills me with complete dread of where we go from here!

Maybe I should not think too far ahead. Any suggestions greatly received .
 

cobden28

Registered User
Jan 31, 2012
442
Depending on how bad your Dad is, perhaps now might be the time to start looking for residential care for both of them?
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
Hi Isobel

I'm so sorry to hear about you mum and then for dad to follow on is such a shock.

I think take each day at a time, at the moment. Once you know where you stand with your dad, then will be the time to start thinking about a Plan B.

Will you be there for Dad's diagnosis? If so, ask what help is available for them to support their independent living. It may well be that with medication and support, they will be able to maintain living independently.

I'm sorry if that's not much help.
 

Isobel19660

Registered User
Feb 5, 2015
17
Hi Isobel

I'm so sorry to hear about you mum and then for dad to follow on is such a shock.

I think take each day at a time, at the moment. Once you know where you stand with your dad, then will be the time to start thinking about a Plan B.

Will you be there for Dad's diagnosis? If so, ask what help is available for them to support their independent living. It may well be that with medication and support, they will be able to maintain living independently.

I'm sorry if that's not much help.

Thank you for your reply. It is nice to hear from others,
It is all just a mind field. One thing is for sure we need to do power of attorney sooner rather than later.

Do you have any knowledge in this area. I have looked and you can do it on line
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
Thank you for your reply. It is nice to hear from others,
It is all just a mind field. One thing is for sure we need to do power of attorney sooner rather than later.

Do you have any knowledge in this area. I have looked and you can do it on line
You are right. It is so important to have POA for both parents, also both Health and Welfare and Property and Finance. Without those, it is very difficult to deal with things on their behalf.

I have completed the POA forms online, and it isn't difficult, in fact the website gives good guidance and tells you when something isn't right. You can also save them online, so if you don't complete them in one hit.

Good luck.
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
That's dreadful, Isobel, I can imagine you must be feeling very shocked and not knowing what on earth to expect or do. I agree absolutely that living each day as it comes is the best way of dealing with it, while it is also quite a difficult thing to do because you can't help but worry, even though worrying is pretty useless.

There are a few things that can help though, and one is to get to know who the social worker is, write down the names and job titles of all the people you see or speak to, together with the dates, if that isn't too much to ask, and get their phone numbers and email addresses if you can. Have a special note book to keep this in then you wont spend hours searching through scraps of paper for contacts like I did.
Know as much a you can about the support systems and the Care Act, if you can get to grips with it.

Also POA which has already been said.

I was told that things don't really change with dementia until there is a crisis, I have found this to be the case with mum, it was useful to know that a crisis didn't necessarily mean I was a lousy daughter.
 

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,611
Auckland...... New Zealand
Isobel you have my sympathies.
My Mum 73 was diagnsoed with Alzheimers July 2013, but the symptoms were there a lot earlier. Having a general anaesthetic for surgery Jan 2013 just hastened it.
Dad 77 was having short term memory issues and his GP referred him to our Memory Team this time last year. After a brain CT, blood tetst and memory tests, they said his memory wasn't too bad for his age but had cognitive impairment.

Thankfully my parents live in there own house behind ours, and we arranged POA back on 2011.
My biggest struggle really is the fact that Dad can't comprehend Mums Alzheimers and what she is and isn't capable of. It causes alot of upset.
He also has certain behaviours which are hard to cope with, which get worse as he gets older... Whereas Mum so far is still pretty much the mild mannered Mum that I know.
I can only really take one day at a time, as to look too far forward doesn't bear thinking about.
 

Isobel19660

Registered User
Feb 5, 2015
17
Isobel you have my sympathies.
My Mum 73 was diagnsoed with Alzheimers July 2013, but the symptoms were there a lot earlier. Having a general anaesthetic for surgery Jan 2013 just hastened it.
Dad 77 was having short term memory issues and his GP referred him to our Memory Team this time last year. After a brain CT, blood tetst and memory tests, they said his memory wasn't too bad for his age but had cognitive impairment.

Thankfully my parents live in there own house behind ours, and we arranged POA back on 2011.
My biggest struggle really is the fact that Dad can't comprehend Mums Alzheimers and what she is and isn't capable of. It causes alot of upset.
He also has certain behaviours which are hard to cope with, which get worse as he gets older... Whereas Mum so far is still pretty much the mild mannered Mum that I know.
I can only really take one day at a time, as to look too far forward doesn't bear thinking about.
Thank you so much for you reply. It is good to know we are not alone
 

Isobel19660

Registered User
Feb 5, 2015
17
That's dreadful, Isobel, I can imagine you must be feeling very shocked and not knowing what on earth to expect or do. I agree absolutely that living each day as it comes is the best way of dealing with it, while it is also quite a difficult thing to do because you can't help but worry, even though worrying is pretty useless.

There are a few things that can help though, and one is to get to know who the social worker is, write down the names and job titles of all the people you see or speak to, together with the dates, if that isn't too much to ask, and get their phone numbers and email addresses if you can. Have a special note book to keep this in then you wont spend hours searching through scraps of paper for contacts like I did.
Know as much a you can about the support systems and the Care Act, if you can get to grips with it.

Also POA which has already been said.

I was told that things don't really change with dementia until there is a crisis, I have found this to be the case with mum, it was useful to know that a crisis didn't necessarily mean I was a lousy daughter.
Thanks for your advice.