1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,332
    Nottinghamshire
    I certainly don’t expect to see anything of my brother but my sister might still stay in touch - as long as I don’t need any help in a crisis!!

    So I suppose I should look out for our own interests .

    As I’ve almost finished probate - just the house sale to go through now - would it be possible to hand it over to the solicitor to check and sign it off?
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,783
    Female
    South coast
    Yes, of course - and it would cost less than if they had done everything.
    Go and talk to one and find our how much they would charge.
    The solicitor would transfer all the money to the inheritors, so it would come from them, not you.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    hi @Bunpoots
    I too think it a good idea to have a solicitor involved
    I am estranged from my sibling, yet somehow they thought we would work together as executors ... I don't fully trust them, which I didn't say upfront, but did say I prefered that dad's solicitor sort out the estate (there was one issue that involved a trust and I was tired of dealing with everything) ... I stepped aside as executor so they could take on the responsibility as they agreed to have the solicitor deal ... I have reassurance that they wil have to have acted correctly
    so involving a solicitor will stop any future attempts at comeback against you and will keep it all at a distance ... worth it, I decided, for the peace of mind

    by the way, not all all implying you are not to be trusted, simply that having a professional involved acts as a buffer between the executors/beneficiaries

    really glad you yourself have half the house ... that's what your dad wanted and ensured would happen so do not for a second consider sharing the proceeds with anyone other than your own nuclear family
     
  4. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,332
    Nottinghamshire
    Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions. I think I will hand over the probate to the solicitor and they can deal with that and the sale of the bungalow at the same time. There’s a trust involved in dad’s estate too so although the probate is straightforward the bungalow sale is a bit complicated. I’ve just been and signed the contract with the estate agent so bungalow goes on the market today.

    I’ll be glad when it’s all over!
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,783
    Female
    South coast
    Make sure that you explain to the solicitor why you are doing this, so that they are aware of discontent among your siblings. Do not suggest that your half of the bungalow is in your dads estate, make sure they are aware that half of it belongs to you (I seem to remember that it came about because your mum wanted her half to go to you instead of to your dad when she died). I know that you will have all the paperwork because you had to get it for the LA. Give that paperwork to the solicitor.
     
  6. KathrynAnne

    KathrynAnne Registered User

    Jun 6, 2018
    272
    Female
    South Yorkshire
    I just wanted to add my agreement with other posters. Your Dad made the decision to give you half the bungalow before he got dementia so you know that was his wish - you should definitely have it. It sounds like he was also sure about what he wanted when he made his final Will so you should fulfill his wishes for the remaining half. I also agree that engaging a solicitor for the probate on the sale of the property will be money well spent. Good luck with it all xxx
     
  7. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,332
    Nottinghamshire
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,877
    Kent
    Hello @Bunpoots.

    If there is likely to be any complications regarding the estate of your dad and there do seem to be, the cost of expert legal advice and action is money well spent. It takes all the responsibility and possible recrimination off your shoulders.
     
  9. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,106
    Female
    East Midlands
    I agree with what the others have said @Bunpoots & then you can’t be accused of any wrong doing by your siblings. And ****** off to your siblings about your half. Your half is your half, end of! Good luck with the sale!
     
  10. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,332
    Nottinghamshire
    I’ve had a rather stressful week after speaking with my siblings this weekend regarding dad’s estate. They went mad because only half of dad’s bungalow was included in the will. I’ve had a couple of anxiety attacks over it and still feel very stressed. Sister has calmed down a bit but I don’t want anything to do with bro after his behaviour while my dad was ill.

    My brother took his own solicitor to dad’s home, after he’d been diagnosed with dementia and was probably early to mid stage but obviously dithery and indecisive, and got dad to change the will. I won’t go into details but dad was unhappy and a few weeks later insisted I took him to another solicitor and had a new will made.

    I received an offer on the bungalow at the end of October and, after a bit of confusion due to the trust it was put under, eventually decided to use Dad’s solicitor who set the trust up to deal with the conveyancing.

    This morning I went to see the solicitor to clarify the situation and ask them if they could prepare estate accounts, unfortunately they can’t as they didn’t sort everything from the beginning. But I was assured that my brother cannot challenge the will as probate was done over 6 months ago and he knew that dad had died...

    But the big shock for him is going to be that dad put the bungalow in a discretionary trust and left it ALL to me. So now it’s up to me to decide who gets what...

    Oh dear!

    My dad was a wise man...but he does expect a lot of me :confused:
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,877
    Kent
    I doubt parents have any idea what they are leaving for their children to sort out following family disputes.
     
  12. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,314
    Female
    Chester
    There is a discretionary trust on my OH's side of the family

    OH's mum is a beneficiary if she is in need, so it is being left alone for now.

    I think it should just be split between the 3 children - job done, but suspect even this would cause issues.

    Can't risk putting details on here.

    It is a big conundrum for you, I suspect that your siblings will think that because you have half already they should share the other half.

    Best never to expect and then any money that comes is a bonus, is the way to view inheritance. And cut your cloth according to your means.
     
  13. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,332
    Nottinghamshire
    #133 Bunpoots, Nov 14, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2019
    I quite agree but bro spent his “inheritance” on a boat while dad was still alive :rolleyes:...
     
  14. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,654
    Oooh @Bunpoots If your dad left the bungalow to you, then it is yours. Your dad must have had his reasons.

    A shock for your lovely brother though.
     

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