Now that he's gone

[Bunpoots]

I didn't expect to be on this part of the site yet. Dad passed away last night. For him it was quick and painless, for the rest of us a bit of a shock. As I said on my "At the end of my tether" thread, it was over before we could get to the Carehome to say goodbye..

I went to see him, with my daughters, and we're all stunned and sad.

Because his death was unexpected, and he hasn't seen his GP since October, the coroner is involved and it is 99.9% certain that an autopsy will be done according to the policewoman involved.

I don't know what to expect now. How will I be able to register his death within five days if we have to have an autopsy done ?

 

[karaokePete]

Please accept my condolences for your loss.

 

[Fullticket]

So sorry for the suddenness of your loss.
The registering of death within five days is a bit of a myth. When my mum died the hospital gave me the number to call and an appointment could not be made for 10 days. The home should have a number for you to call so make the call, explain the situation and they will help you.

 

[Bunpoots]

So sorry for the suddenness of your loss.
The registering of death within five days is a bit of a myth. When my mum died the hospital gave me the number to call and an appointment could not be made for 10 days. The home should have a number for you to call so make the call, explain the situation and they will help you.

Thank you. I'm going to the home shortly

 

[hilaryd]

Condolences on your loss, @Bunpoots - as you say, a quick and painless end was best for him, but harder for you, and you're bound to feel stunned. In my experience, that can last for a while. Also to echo what others have said about registering the death - procedures seem less rigid in practice, and I found all involved to be really helpful and kind. Take care of yourself xxx

 

[nellbelles]

Please accept my sincere condolences on your sad and sudden loss.

 

[nae sporran]

So sorry for your loss, Bunpoots.

 

[Grannie G]

The home will be able to give you as much information as you need @Bunpoots. They know the procedure, what to do and the timescale for doing it.

Give yourselves time. You`ve all had a shock.

 

[Izzy]

I'm śo sorry for your loss @Bunpoots.

 

[Marcelle123]

I am very sorry to hear about your sad and sudden loss, and hope that all the procedure can be sorted without too much worry. You must be devastated - wishing you peace & solace. xx

 

[nita]

I'm sorry to hear your father has died, @Bunpoots. My mother died about the same time 2 years ago, on the night of 22nd December. Like your father, the GP hadn't visited since October though she had come out of hospital 2 days before. I took the slip from the out-of-hours doctor who came about 2.30 am the following morning, to the GP's and, as in your case, the death was referred to the coroner. I couldn't do anything over Christmas, with the surgery closed for 4 days, anyway. I rang the coroner's office to find out what was going on and it was some time before they got to my Mum's case. In the end, they sorted it out with the doctor who went to the funeral director to confirm the death and must have referred to Mum's medical records. I don't know why she didn't phone me to discuss the case as happened with my cousin and her father, or refer to the hospital where Mum had just been discharged with possible aspiration pneumonia. She wrote "old age" as the primary cause of death! and the medical conditions she had, including "dementia". I wish she had discussed it with me as I would have thought it should have been more specific and also said "Alzheimer's" rather than just a blanket term.

When I finally came to register the death at the Civic Centre, there were no appointments till the following week, so it was well over the 5 days. The funeral director kept asking me for the green form which you get from the Register Office but I couldn't provide it till I was able to see them.

The funeral couldn't be arranged until 13th January, 3 weeks later, which I thought was a long time but have since found other people have been in a similar situation.

So I wouldn't worry about an autopsy/post-mortem as they are unlikely to do this if you father has a known condition.

My condolences to you as it so sad when it happens just before Christmas. I find this time of year very hard.

 

[Batsue]

Sending my condolences for your sad loss.

 

[jaymor]

I’m sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[canary]

I was so sorry to hear this news
Please be gentle with yourself now
(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

 

[Cat27]

I’m so sorry @Bunpoots. My thoughts are with you.

 

[farmgirl]

So sorry for your loss, i have lost my father a few weeks back have the funeral tomorrow but we had him at home all throughout his dementia and died at home which was painful to watch.

 

[Bunpoots]

So sorry for your loss, i have lost my father a few weeks back have the funeral tomorrow but we had him at home all throughout his dementia and died at home which was painful to watch.

I’m sorry to hear this farmgirl. I hope the funeral goes well for you tomorrow

 

[love.dad.but..]

I didn't expect to be on this part of the site yet. Dad passed away last night. For him it was quick and painless, for the rest of us a bit of a shock. As I said on my "At the end of my tether" thread, it was over before we could get to the Carehome to say goodbye..

I went to see him, with my daughters, and we're all stunned and sad.

Because his death was unexpected, and he hasn't seen his GP since October, the coroner is involved and it is 99.9% certain that an autopsy will be done according to the policewoman involved.

I don't know what to expect now. How will I be able to register his death within five days if we have to have an autopsy done ?

I am so sorry that your dear dad passed away so suddenly, even when we know that dementia will perhaps directly or indirectly eventually bring this conclusion as I found with my dad who suddenly became very unwell it is a shock.

Regarding registration of death time frame...my mum died suddenly at home so police and coroner plus post mortem were involved. I found the coroner to be very helpful and the 5 days time limit is not set in stone in these circumstances...a death cannot be registered until a coroner's investigations have been completed...the coroner then issues the necessary certificate which is electronically sent directly to the Registrar...I understood on a central computer system so that it could be accessed by any registry office. All in all it was 12 days before I could register mum's death and inbetween we were able to start funeral arrangements finalising the date once we had phone confirmation from the coroner that the paperwork had been sent. In my dad's case when I went to register dad's death within 5 days we discovered the GP had not included her registration number on the cert and the registrar was unable to get hold of her for 3 days so it was 8 days for dad's and I was told no problem as out of my control. So don't worry it will all fall into place. The care home or funeral directors will be able to give you advice as these circumstances are not uncommon. Referral to the coroner may also be if your dad in a care home setting was subject to a DOLS.

 

[Amy in the US]

Just wanted to say hello, @Bunpoots, and thinking of you often.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Please accept my condolences. Although my father did not have dementia, he also died completely unexpectedly in December 2007. It was an enormous shock for us also.