Now he has gone....

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Robin61, Jun 10, 2018.

  1. Robin61

    Robin61 Registered User

    Jan 27, 2017
    8
    Hi all. I have only posted a few times last year but my husband passed away last Friday on his 81st birthday. He had vascular dementia diagnosed 2014 and went into care late 2015 due to severe challenging behaviour and being sectioned. It has been a horrendous journey for him and our family and I am comforted that his passing was peaceful and he can now rest.
    I am 62 somewhat younger than he was but our happy marriage has been 40 years with children. I am lucky to have a loving family and grandchildren. I am devastated at finally losing him although I know he is in better place.
    Despite not posting much I have continually read messages on these forums for years and it has been a huge help to me. Now I have grief of a different final type I feel the need to share my thoughts and feelings as it will help me.
    Early stages of bereavement to come and I’m busy starting to plan funeral this week.
    Thank you for anticipated support and hoping I can help others too. Xx
     
  2. campervan21

    campervan21 Registered User

    May 4, 2017
    98
    Derbyshire
    Sorry for your loss , TP is a help to me too, thinking of you and your family x
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    1,835
    N Ireland
    I too am sorry for your loss and I wish you the strength you will need at this difficult time.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    66,065
    Kent
    I hope you find the support you need in dealing with loss sub forum. Sadly it is growing day by day.
     
  5. worried2

    worried2 Registered User

    Aug 1, 2010
    19
    Sending condolences and wishing you strength to cope in the days and weeks ahead. Post whenever you need: you will always find support and understanding along this difficult journey here. Xx
     
  6. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    4,842
    Female
    Kent
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you are using the forum to gain support at this horrible and difficult time.
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    56,126
    Female
    Dundee
    #7 Izzy, Jun 11, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2018
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad you've come to this forum for support. Wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come.
     
  8. Robin61

    Robin61 Registered User

    Jan 27, 2017
    8
    Thank you so much for replies you wonderful people! I already feel extra support now from those who have been there. Registering his death today and doing the photo album therapy. He was a keen photographer so I have a large collection of photos and wonderful memories contained therein. This beautiful June weather is helping today. Take care all of you. X
     
  9. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,130
    Ireland
    So sorry for your loss, @Robin61 . My late husband was also much older than I, there was 30 years between us. I'm glad you have come here for support. Knowing that those here understand exactly what we are going through can be such a help.
     
  10. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    7,353
    leicester
    My condolences for your loss, I hope TP helps you at this difficult time
     
  11. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Sending sympathy for your loss; wishing you strength, and hope for for the future. xx
     
  12. Robin61

    Robin61 Registered User

    Jan 27, 2017
    8
    Yesterday difficult day arranging funeral and registering death. Today has been better contacting lots of people who were in my husbands life from his career and many hobbies. I’ve loved talking to them and remembering the man he was before dementia. This can only help me I feel.
    30 years younger LadyA! You like me then will have experienced being a dementia carer for your partner at a young age. It has been so very hard but I one day want to use this knowledge to help others in same situation. For now though it’s just grief for his final loss.x
     
  13. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    56,126
    Female
    Dundee
    This is such a hard time. My husband was 21 years older than me so I can empathise with you.

    Wishing you strength.
     

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