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Not yet got diagnosis but starting to worry about deterioration

Keelyp

New member
Aug 3, 2020
3
Thankfully I am one of three daughters so when I use we I mean me and my two sisters.
We started to notice 18 months ago some memory and confusion with our mum , who is 74 now, but as she is Deaf it was sometimes difficult to work out if it was a hearing issue. Eventually we realised it was more than that but 12 months ago she had a memory assessment at the doctors and passed ( just). Fast forward 6 months and she is getting worse so we book another appointment - but then covid hits ! 6 weeks ago we finally got mother tested again at doctors and she failed so was referred to memory clinic but we are now playing a waiting game , waiting for memory clinic to get in touch. The problem is she has got so much worse. She is locking herself out of her building , forgetting to eat and wash. She is getting cross and argumentative. She is constantly confused about time of day or what day and is not taking tablets but she is not acknowledging or admitting any of this.
We are so worried about her safety and really don't know where to turn as we are so new to this.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,394
Welcome @Keelyp you'll find lots of friendly advise and support here. Unfortunately most services seem to have delays at the moment due to covid but it sounds like your mum needs some extra support as locking herself out and forgetting to eat and take her tablets are safeguarding issues. You can request a care needs assessment from your mum's social services - you don't need to wait for the diagnosis to be confirmed - and let them know about the problems your mum is having at the moment. They will assess your mum's care needs and can help with putting carer visits in place. If your mum has more than £23,450 savings then she will be classed as a self-funder and the local authority will not help financially with care costs so you could take steps to get carers in yourself rather than wait for a care needs assessment. There's a lot of things to think of, including getting power of attorney in place so that you and your sisters will be able to step in when your mum is no longer to manage her finances herself and also act as her advocates in health & welfare matters.

As a start, here are links to a fact sheet that explains the care needs assessment process and also a 'new carers guide' which contains loads of useful information about practical matters. Hopefully these will be helpful. It's good that you've got support from your sisters but any questions just ask :)

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/assessment-care-support-england

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/2020-03/caring_for_a_person_with_dementia_600.pdf
 

Keelyp

New member
Aug 3, 2020
3
Thank you . Today we started to look at adult services assessment, an LPA and a will. My sister has ordered a dementia clock and we are looking at a tracker. But mum has rested today and she has had a really good day even cooking her own tea. She seems to have much better days when she rests.
 

Megan101

New member
Jun 26, 2020
5
Thankfully I am one of three daughters so when I use we I mean me and my two sisters.
We started to notice 18 months ago some memory and confusion with our mum , who is 74 now, but as she is Deaf it was sometimes difficult to work out if it was a hearing issue. Eventually we realised it was more than that but 12 months ago she had a memory assessment at the doctors and passed ( just). Fast forward 6 months and she is getting worse so we book another appointment - but then covid hits ! 6 weeks ago we finally got mother tested again at doctors and she failed so was referred to memory clinic but we are now playing a waiting game , waiting for memory clinic to get in touch. The problem is she has got so much worse. She is locking herself out of her building , forgetting to eat and wash. She is getting cross and argumentative. She is constantly confused about time of day or what day and is not taking tablets but she is not acknowledging or admitting any of this.
We are so worried about her safety and really don't know where to turn as we are so new to this.
Hi,

We’re having the exact same issue with my Nan at the moment. She has gotten a lot worse over the last 6 months and now with Covid the whole process of getting her diagnosed fully and to get care becomes a lot harder. I think it’s really difficult but we have just tried to be as persistent as possible and my Nan is now having a brain scan in the middle of August. Also, my Nan is a lot better after rest and after seeing people so I think that’s all you can do in the mean time even though it is really difficult.
 

Keelyp

New member
Aug 3, 2020
3
Hi,

We’re having the exact same issue with my Nan at the moment. She has gotten a lot worse over the last 6 months and now with Covid the whole process of getting her diagnosed fully and to get care becomes a lot harder. I think it’s really difficult but we have just tried to be as persistent as possible and my Nan is now having a brain scan in the middle of August. Also, my Nan is a lot better after rest and after seeing people so I think that’s all you can do in the mean time even though it is really difficult.
Thank you for your reply. Things have gonabit crazy since I posted that 10 days ago. We have realised mum is struggling in all aspects of her life from washing to eating and medication etc. We have a social care assessment coming up , a memory assessment on Monday, a adult care equipment visit , a careers assessment and god knows what else. I seem to be on the phone all the time to so many differnt people and agencies but hopefully things will get moving and we will get the help and support for mum that we need. Xx Hope you get some things sorted for your nan xx