Not what we had planned..

[huntsu1]

Mum slipped in the shower at her nursing home this morning, she has a fractured hip and in a lot of pain. We spent the best part of all day at the hospital where she is finally settled in the trauma ward awaiting her op. They hope to get her on the list for tomorrow but will not know until then as it depends on what comes in and with all the ice not sure it will happen.

She was comfortable when we left her thanks to the morphine, but not really aware of what is going on. She has almost lost her power of speech now and despite explaining her condition to nursing staff I'm quote worried about her care. We have explained that if asked she will always say no.. and will not eat or drink without help. Visiting hours are really bad and I think we may have a fight on our hands, weekends its 2:30 - 8:00 but week days it is just 6:30 - 8:30. I am really not happy about her being alone for such a long period. They say there is a red tray system so that it is recognised that she needs extra help with food but I am not convinced.

 

[Tender Face]

Hi Huntsu1, so sorry to hear about your mum.

I wondered were you aware of the recent campaign and report by AS around hospital care? I’m posting a link – and if you have time, Recommendation 8 in the report is particularly significant to your concerns ......

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/news_article.php?newsID=579

It makes me so cross that visiting times change from week days to weekends ... it sends out a clear signal to me that we are deemed to be ‘in the way’ in the week when there is a flurry of medics around and perhaps could come in useful at weekends when hospitals are run on mostly nursing staff alone .....

Don’t be afraid to speak up ... ask if there is a dementia-trained nurse on duty, suggest your visits throughout the day could be beneficial (to staff) let alone mum and your wanting to visit. I know my mum would say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to questions without fully understanding what was being asked .... including to consultants who would ‘drop by’ unexpectedly when I wasn’t ’allowed’ on the ward and goodness knows what they made of her responses at times, nor the problem that mum could not of course remember or communicate what had been said to her? You are the expert in her ways of communicating – the hospital should embrace that.

I do hope the op goes well and your concerns are unfounded,
Love, Karen, x

 

[Winnie Kjaer]

Hi Huntshu1
I am sorry to read about your mums fall and subsequent op.
Every time my husband has been in hospital a total of 5 times in almost 7 years, I have been allowed to be there from 8am - 11pm. I did everything myself except when refreshing him as he needs rolling, and using the hoist. They would then allocate a nurse to assist me. They were always most grateful and I have had some wonderful thank you letters from nurses and auxilery nurses during that time. You have a right to continue caring whilst your cared for is in hospital. I hope everything goes well with the op.

 

[huntsu1]

Thank you, I have just phoned to see how she is, they said she was comfortable and had eaten supper, I asked what would happen about informed consent, they kept me on the phone for 10 mins. before saying I needed to go in at 08:30 tomorrow. What would have happened if I had not asked I don't know. Just hope she gets on the list tomorrow!

 

[Margaret W]

I would take no notice of the visiting hours and visit when you wish, within reason. Pretend you didn't know about visiting hours. It is archaic for hospitals to have such restricted times. Just turn up and see what happens. I would contact your MP to complain, but later when mum is sorted out.

I wouldn't be convinced either.

What a sad time for you. I hope your mum is more comfortable soon.

Love

Margaret

 

[huntsu1]

Well she had a good night, we went in this morning so hubby could sign the consent form, her leg is now in traction, it seems its not the normal break, its lower down so op will be a bit more complicated. Her BP is good and so is the ECG, she has no underlying conditions so we hoping things will be OK. Unfortunately with all the admissions yesterday she probably wont get the op until tomorrow, although they are keeping her nil by mouth in case. She's not in pain and seems quite comfortable, not at all stressed which is good.

 

[shelagh]

Hope all goes well. Try not to worry - though I realise that is a daft thing to say.
Love
Shelagh

 

[Jaye]

Glad your mum is comfortable.

When my mother has been in hospital, I explained to the staff that, because of dementia, her cognitive abilities are less than those of a child, and that she is much easier to manage if someone familiar to her is around. I was only once told I couldn’t be there, but after she forcefully refused lunch, medication and to have her blood pressure taken, they changed their mind. I left the ward when I was in the way, and made sure that I did not upset other patients. Some of them seemed glad to have someone to chat to anyway. Also, I could give doctors the correct medical history, and I was able to know how my mother was being treated.

Having seen how much better off my mother was, because I was able to help her, I would not like to abandon her to the 'care' of the ward staff. eg with feeding they would give the food to patients and only assist later on when the food was cold - yuk. Another time my mother was served with a meal totally inappropriate for someone on a soft diet, I was able to ask for it to be replaced - that wouldn't have happened otherwise. Drinks with straws were left for her, but she does not know what a straw is, or how to use it. She needs someone to sit with her and prompt physically and verbally to take in enough liquid to maintain health. The list goes on. I really am not surprised those with dementia take longer to recover.

Hope the operation goes well. Be assertive with the ward staff if you need to, you want to help your relative recover as well as possible.

from Jaye

 

[Heather777]

It is hard when they are in hospital-my mum broke her hip last Christmas eve, they did the op on boxing day. There were no nurses who were dementia trained and no matter that I was her main carer and could tell them exactly the best way to deal with her they took no notice. It was a very frustrating time and instead of me supporting them it felt like a battle. But I would say battle with them if you need to. I was really worried that my mum didn't drink or eat unless we were there and as for medication they left it on the table so it was never taken.

My dad has been in hospital for over two weeks and although it is a medical ward they have really listened to me and are brilliant at caring for him, despite the fact of his bad language and hitting them!

Hope that it isnt too stressful for you
Heather xx