1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. pansypotter

    pansypotter Registered User

    Dec 1, 2005
    8
    Scotland
    I was so worried tonight. I had been out for a couple or hours. I can usually rely on my husband still being exactly where he was when I left him for up to three or four :confused: hours at a time. But tonight he had got up and found a telephone and was trying to phone one of the shopping channels to buy me some jewellry for hundreds of pounds! I know he just wants to be nice to me and get me a surprise Christmas gift, but I can't seem to make him understand how expensive and inappropriate his actions were. He was convinced he was watching BBC1! He has already got me a gift - we bought it together, but he does not remember getting it - or where he has put it! Why does him trying to show he loves me hurt so much?
     
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Pansy, it is not the fact of him trying to show how much he loves you that hurts, its just that you are the one who has to pick up the pieces.
    It is so hurtful when they cannot remember what they have done, buying presents together etc. but that is the illness.
    It must have been very worrying for you finding him telephone shopping, just a thought, does he have free reign on his credit card. If so, maybe this is a warning to put some blocks in place.
    Try not to be too upset, at least you know how much he loves you. Connie
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I think it is because we realise that, no matter how great their love for us, they will be less and less able to show it as time goes by. It is the enormity of the effort they must be making even to try and do something about it.

    Jan's last birthday card to me was in 2000. She spent a day writing it, three months after my birthday, using a card I had bought for someone else. The same day, I found it on the dining table - it had been so much an effort to do that she then forgot she had done it. It is one of the most precious things I have left now.
     
  4. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    I cannot remember when I had any sort of Card from Peg.
    She shows no interest in the Xmas cards that are arriving,or in the ones which we sent.
    I can cope with all that but what really cracks me up is that she only rarely wants a cuddle or a kiss these days.
    I savour the times when she does ,and have to acept this is another stage in AD.
    Norman
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Norman, my heart goes out to you. I know all you need is some recognition, and it is not there. Stay strong sweetheart, I know it isn't easy, but deep down you know how Peg loves you. Hugs, Connie.
     

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