Hi, I haven't posted for some time but find myself in need of some support and advice again, particularly as things seem to have moved on a bit with my husband's dementia. It's a bit of a long story so if you read please bear with me. I had a few days away in April which didn't turn out to be as successful as if hoped because I'm the second day I developed vertigo which lasted the entire time I was away and rather out a damper on things. Luckily I was staying with family so I had help when I needed it. When I came home my husband has clearly struggled more than before with looking after himself. My daughter had kept an eye on him and taken him to her home for a couple of meals. Other than that he just had microwave meals. His medication is in blister packs but I think he'd been confused with it at times even though he has an alarm set for the times to take it, he had missed some. I struggled with the vertigo when I came hime, he didn't understand it. I couldn't drive so was reliant on my daughter and internet shopping. Had to ask a neighbour to take us to doctor appointment. Just as I was beginning to feel a bit better my husband became ill on a Saturday. I had to call 111 and a doctor confirmed a chest infection and prescribed antibiotics. Next day he was worse so I called again.although there were several things I was concerned about they seemed to only be able to deal with one! Eventually another doctor came, said his chest sounded better so carry on with antibiotics and analgesics for his back. I told her he couldn't support himself in his left leg but she took no notice. Call if any change. Just after lunchtime he vomited, I called again. Another doctor came, old school no laptop! Said chest worse and as he couldn't walk without support from me he needed to be in hospital. This worries me intensely. Hospital turned out to be as difficult as I expected, he didn't know what was happening most of the time so I was visiting several times a day. After five days with the risk of norivirus he came home. I asked for help for him with showering but didn't get any. He couldn't stand to shower so I had to buy a suitable seat and had to manage myself. I was assured we would have a visit from the therapy team in a few days. This didn't happen either. After two weeks he was able to stand to shower himself again but still needed some help with drying. In addition to his physical difficulties his memory has taken a huge hit. It's improving a bit again in some areas but I'm other ways he's much worse than he was. Unfortunately he is still insists he doesn't need or want help from anyone except me. Now to my biggest worry. I don't feel I can leave him again to have a break. Had anyone any suggestions. I haven't dared mention it to him yet. I really need to know that someone is checking in him at least twice a day. My daughter can do some of it but I don't feel she can offer help with personal care. He doesn't need a lot, mainly make sure he showers and dried himself properly. I also need to know he's taken his medication properly. He has not had a care assessment because I've been told he doesn't qualify as he doesn't need help with personal care. This has changed slightly but as I've said he doesn't need a lot of help. He refuses to go to a day centre of go into respite care. Will I have to pay for someone to come in to help him if he'll accept it? I keep being told I have to have regular breaks but nobody seems to help me to do that. I've spoken to GP but she didn't offer any suggestions, just told me I need to adjust my expectations of his memory! Sorry this has been so long. If you've ploughed through it is value any help!