• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

not sure what to do

Laura Lou

Registered User
Jul 26, 2015
Father in law diagnosed with late on set demetia in January.
Medication appered to be helping, but we have now noticed probably has not taken for a few weeks (dosset box now arranged) now not recognising his wife or home. My mother in law cannot cope at all, but is also now suffering memory issues, we are awaitng the usual rule out of nothing else and just not sure what the next steps should be, we have daily care but both still physically able. We live 2 hours away and the 5 times a day calls and night time calls are draining while both working full time and a young family.


Registered User
Apr 23, 2013
So sorry with what you are going through. I also lived about 2 hours away from my mother and was working full time on different shifts and kept receiving calls from the police as she was wandering about in the night and getting into potentially dangerous situations. She is now in a care home near to us with advanced dementia. I can understand the pressure you are under it is a horrible disease I had a lot of help from her local Alzheimer's Society, they took her to appointments and arranged carers (although my mother kept locking them out of the house). Lots of people on here with good advice so keep posting you will find a lot of support,
Jan xx


Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
I am not sure exactly what is the right thing to do in your specific circumstances but I suggest you contact Social Services tomorrow and say that there are two vulnerable adults living together who are not coping as well as they could. This is not passing the buck but starting a process which may lead to help or at least an assessment of their needs.
Make sure you take the names of whoever you speak to and their numbers. Also note the dates and times. Another thing you can do is keep a diary of event which concern you, such as the phone calls so often or not taking pills, anything.
I know this sounds kind of heartless and calculating but it may well help in getting appropriate assistance at a later date. It's a difficult time for you all