Not sure what comes next

[andyst13]

Morning all,
The situation with my Mum has deteriorated very quickly over the past few weeks. Initially, we took the decision to place Mum into residential care, as her vascular dementia had progressed and she was starting to wander at night. She has lived on her own for the last 13 years, so has always been a very independent lady and is physically very fit at 79. Over the past 9 months she has had carers visit 3 and then 4 times a day to help with meals and make sure Mum was dressed/washed etc. Her hygiene over the past month had really deteriorated and with other incident happening with disturbing neighbours, hallucinating and wandering outside with her suitcase, I decided with support from her GP & social worker, that residential care was the best thing for her.
I found a really lovely home for her and her first week, she seemed to settle and enjoy the company. However since Thursday last week Mum has become violent to the carers at the home, to the extent that she was sectioned under section 2 yesterday. It has been a complete whirlwind and I have no idea what to do next or how I can support her.
I know Mum will be so scared and confused. She is fully aware that she is forgetting, which makes this all the more heart breaking.
I live 300 miles away and my brother on the other side of the world (we have an LPA for both), so feel very removed from it all. I want to make sure that I am involved in the decision making process of what happens next and obviously would like to visit Mum as soon as I can.
Can anyone give advice as to what happens next? I know they can hold my Mum for up to 28 days whilst they assess her and obviously find the right medication for her, but other than that I am a little lost on the process of it all.
Any advice, as always would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @andyst13

It must be a nightmare living so far away from your mum and trying to find out what is happening.

I've no experience of sectioning but hope others will reply to you soon.

Meanwhile the information on the following factsheet might help.

Which sections of the Mental Health Act are relevant to dementia?

Some sections of the Mental Health Act may be relevant to people with dementia and their carers.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @andyst13

I've always dreaded this happening to my mum, who can be very aggressive and occasionally violent. It must be a terrible worry for you. I have read threads on here, however, which have indicated that it can be the best thing to happen, as there are plenty of staff to look after the person and medication is thoroughly reviewed.

Has your mum been checked for infection or other conditions which may explain the sudden change? I assume that the hospital will test for every possible cause.

 

[andyst13]

Thank you for the link. I shall have a read.

 

[andyst13]

Thanks @lemonbalm for the advice. It seems to have happened so fast and behaviour so unlike my Mum.
They have checked for an infection and unfortunately this is not the case. It seems like the next stage on her dementia journey.
It was incredibly hard to hear that my Mum had been 'detained under the Mental Health Act'. I do hope they will be able to help her feel calmer, but I know she has always had an irrational fear of hospitals & doctors and fear that she will continue to decline. Mixed emotions all round.
I hope that I get to see her soon and can reassure her as best I can, as I know she will be so scared.

 

[Just me]

I’m sorry to hear about you Mum @andyst13.
I’ve had recent experience of Sec 2 and it is scary when it happens.

Staff just kept telling me Mum was there for an holistic assessment but from what happened to mum it just seemed they were observing her behaviour and ability to do things ready to feed back to the doctor and social services.

I argued that the incident with mum was a one off and she’d not shown any signs of aggression while there and was not given any meds, I therefore expected her home in a couple of days, a week at the most.

I’m not sure if it’s because I made a fuss but I was invited to the Doctors Ward Round, our hospital offers Zoom or phone, so I could hear what was going on and ask questions.

Despite my reluctance they were keeping mum for the 28 days but due to the Doctor being ‘missing’ for 2 weeks they hadn’t had time to complete the assessment and invoked Sec 3 which meant mum could be detained for up to 6 months to complete the assessment and put a care package in place.

I hope this is of some help.

 

[andyst13]

Thank you @justme.
It's early days with Mum as she was admitted yesterday. Unable to speak to her as yet, as she has to test negative for COVID before she is allowed to use their phone, but sounds like she is a little calmer. It is going to be a slow process and one which I will have to be patient with.

 

[PMM1485]

Hi there, I really feel for you being in this position. I have had a similar journey and am now about four months further down the line. Mum seemed to change overnight from having moderate symptoms to entering into a nightmare world, seeing the most macabre hallucinations you, can imagine, screaming, shouting, and lying on the floor with her legs up as if giving birth.
I kept arguing that the root of the issue was infections but often got fobbed off with being told it was worsening dementia, even by the psychiatric team. Are you totally a sure she had no infection? Have they grown a urine culture and not just a done a dip test? Has she had an infection at any time over the last month, even if it is not in her system now? Antibiotics can play havoc with dementia and take up to 6 months for someone to recover from their effect...or at least get back to a semblance of their old selves. Your situation just had all the hallmarks of a UTI.
Mum now on preventative antibiotics and yesterday I had the first almost normal conversation with her in months. She asked me what was on telly and how she hated all the cooking programmes, it was like a sudden break in the clouds. I fully appreciate this is probably a temporary period of calm but it is shows how devastating wretched UTIs can be. I'm am sure they will be back .
Hang in there. It can be such an exhausting up hill struggling and you sometimes feel you are being pushed in a direction that doesn't feel right to you. If so, try and stick to your guns. This forum has been a huge help. I really hope things improve for you and your mum. Xx

 

[andyst13]

Thanks for the advice @PMM1485. So sorry to hear about your Mum and glad she is starting to turn a corner. Those little glimmers are to be treasured.

Mum has had a dip test done, which came back negative and she does not have a history of having UTI's. However,. I will ask them to double check.

Since beginning of August, Mum has had these steps down in her condition, which apparently is what happens with vascular dementia. The change has been so fast and it still feels like it is not happening. Very hard at the moment as I am unable to visit Mum as she is on an isolation ward for two weeks to ensure she is COVID free before being assessed. I have also been unable to speak with Mum, as I seem to always call when she is asleep, which leads me to think they are sedating her. Is that normal?
I understand that she has been difficult recently at the home, as being very aggressive towards the carers and very paranoid about everything, but surely they should try and work out what is making her like this if the change has been sudden?
She has always been irrationally scared of hospitals, doctors and the dementia has heightened this, so this whole experience is her worst nightmare. For me, her recent behaviour is due to her being scared and unable to understand what is going on, as she is fully aware that she is forgetting. Incredibly sad, but hope the next few days / weeks will bring some answers and some calm for my Mum.