Hi, I just joined, and am so glad to have found this site My dad is 80 years old and has been suffering from severe memory loss for a couple of years or so (maybe longer). It's worse than what most people would consider normal for old age, but I'm not sure if it's dementia. He can easily remember things from years ago, but his short term memory is practically non-existant. The problem is, I live in Oxfordshire and my parents live in Essex. My mum has always let dad be the one to sort out any problems, and she is not very assertive. I've asked her several times to talk to dad's GP about his bad memory, but I can't get a straight answer out of her. I feel it's really important that dad is properly diagnosed, so that if he does have dementia, we, as a family, can make appropriate plans for his future and for my mum's future. If I lived closer to him, I'd march him round to the doctor myself, but feel limited in what I can ask my mum to do The thing is, I'm not sure if his memory loss is just that - bad memory. He doesn't have any signs of dementia other than the occasional panic when outside of his normal environment, e.g. he went to visit my brother in Cheshire recently and panicked about the smallest of things which normally would not have bothered him. He has a regular routine at home, can still drive and plays bowls as well as board games with friends and family. He goes to the theatre and concerts on a regular basis and enjoys day trips out. He can't read books anymore, but does read the newspaper and does crosswords etc. I don't get to see him very often, I'm agoraphobic, so travelling to Essex is a major project for me. I do have a sister who lives locally to my parents, but she's busy and I don't know how involved she want's to be. I want to push my mum to get dad diagnosed - but am I over-reacting? I'd really appreciate some input from those of you who know that your family member/friend has dementia. Did it start out really slowly? What prompted you to get a diagnosis? As far as I'm aware, my grandfather had Alzheimers, and I'm more than a little worried that I'll follow the same path as my dad and his dad. I'm in my 40's and already have a very bad memory - often asking my husband the same question twice over, because I don't remember asking him the first time Any advice or help will be most gratefully appreciated.