Not her daughter

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by cragmaid, Jan 20, 2015.

  1. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Mum knows ( when asked) that she has a daughter Maureen. But today, it was not me.:(

    Her bottom teeth have gone missing, but I'm not doing anything other than asking the staff to keep their eyes open. Since she couldn't even manage a Violet creme chocolate the other day she won't be missing much in the food line....good old Ensure seems to be keeping her going and two squares of a bacon sandwich....to everyone's amusment that offer is greeted with alacrity:).

    She is dirty...her hair has not been washed in weeks, her ears and her neck are black, her fingernails.....don't get me started. It's not the girls' fault....she's much too frail for a bath, she won't let them wash her....she'll wipe her face with the flannel and lets just one girl see to her top teeth, they keep her bottom clean and creamed, she has clean PJs and undies every day ( or more often) and she doesn't smell but this poor creature is not my Mum.

    Oh cruel life......it is past time she escaped this disease.
     
  2. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Dear Maureen I wish I could do or say something useful to relieve the sorrow you must be feeling. I have read your previous posts so know things have been pitiful for a long time. Your poor mum does not deserve the existence she has. I hope you are able to get some sleep.

    Tomorrow is another day and I can only hope it is a better one for you.
     
  3. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,699
    Its so heartbreakingly sad to read about your poor Mum, Maureen, so I can well imagine how much worse it is for you to see her like this. I've seen the look on my OH's face, when his Mum insists that yes, she has a son, but it isn't him - she often follows that up by adding 'My son is nice to me - you're not', or something similar, and I know its yet another hurt to contend with.

    As you say, its such a cruel life - all I can do is wish you peace and strength whilst you and your Mum cope with this current situation xxxx
     
  4. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    226
    Female
    NW England
    Dear Maureen,

    It must be awful for you to see your poor mum like this. I am so sorry for you both.

    Wishing you strength.

    love brambles x
     
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,719
    Female
    Dundee
    Ah Maureen, your poor mum. It must be so hard to see her like this. Wishing you strength and your mum peace.
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,677
    Kent
    Such a sad post Maureen. It is so hard for you.
     
  7. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,839
    Suffolk
    Feel for you. I'm absolutely dreading seeing OH like that
     
  8. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,480
    West Midlands
    Oh Maureen it's so painful and oh so sad. My thoughts are with you. Wish I could give you a huge squishy hug xxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  9. VickyG

    VickyG Registered User

    Feb 6, 2013
    327
    Birmingham
    Oh Maureen, I do feel for your Mum and you. I know exactly what you are feeling. xx
     
  10. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Feel for you, I havn't been my mum's daughter for a while now and I've got used to it. Thankfully she is still physically able with my help, but her brain Oh what a mess.
    stay strong.
     
  11. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    ....you have!:)
    I feel the love and support everytime I come here...... and according to Facebook, today is National Hug Day, with all it's attendant health benefits.;)

    Thank you all for taking the time to cheer me up today, it is very appreciated.x.x.
     

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