Not getting out of bed

[Grandma Joan]

We have noticed over the last few months that most of the time, if we didn't prompt her, MIL would still be in bed at lunchtime. She seems to get up to collect the paper from the front door, but goes back to bed.

Nothing wrong with this but what's going on? What has caused this change ?

Is she forgetting the time of day?
Has she not slept at night so is tired in the morning?
Is she "depressed" and can't be bothered to get up ?

How will we ever know if she can't remember?

Has anyone experienced this? What should we do? Should we do anything?

Thoughts?

 

[marionq]

I've never been one for lying in bed but I have some sympathy for a person hiding out there who feels life and reality slipping away. To get the paper and maybe a cup of tea and back to bed sounds quite civilised if you are unwell. Is she eating, keeping clean? Is her bed clean and comfortable?

Does she go outside at all? Does she ever get washed and dressed? If you gave me a pile of books or a good newspaper on a winters morning I could possibly enjoy the same - oh no, I forgot I have a husband with Alzheimer's who never gives me a moments peace!

 

[Rodelinda]

Hi - I recently experienced this with my mother who over a period of a couple of months slept more and more and was reluctant to get out of bed to eat and had stopped washing and dressing. She was becoming depressed and then not drinking enough and didn't want to eat. Eventually she was taken to hospital as she was dehydrated and had lost a lot of weight and was very low. After several days on a drip and a complete change of medication - all her heart/fluid retention etc tablets were stopped and replaced with a tiny dose of one drug and one 15g mirtazapine at night plus lots of vitamin B) she was much brighter, sleeping less and being interested in things again and this has continued. So while I agree with marion, I would just check that she is drinking enough and is not sinking into depression.

 

[Grandma Joan]

Thank you.

She still washes & dresses herself but if we didn't continually prompt her then I'm not sure if she would get up at all....eating is a problem, she doesn't eat much and it takes a lot of prompting and encouragement to get her put a meal in the microwave. When she is with us or at luncheon club she eats a meal, not huge but okay. We encourage her to drink (usually tea) she generally has half a cup.

Is her bed clean? What we have noticed, and for about the same length of time as the lying in bed scenario is that she is wetting the bed, not loads but I'm guessing she lies in bed so long and then probably has to dash to the loo and her bladder can't hold it. The carpet by her bed is stained with urine too (I am regularly shampooing carpet from bed to doorway to keep it smelling fresh)

 

[AndreaP]

I love not getting up until lunch time and I'm only 63. I get the paper and my breakfast and go back to bed to read it and do all the puzzles and crosswords. After lunch I do my chores and errands. I often do things after dinner at night when my energy levels are at their highest.

I suspect your mum is probably a bit depressed and she may wonder what there is to get up for. My mother felt and behaved like this for a year before going to a CH. She would shower late morning get dressed then sit around for the rest of the day dozing in her chair. She lost interest in housework and mostly ate cake and biscuits. She has very poor eyesight and couldn't see how dirty her home was becoming.

I think it is probably par for the course. While she can still live alone I'd let mum please herself. It's not dangerous or destructive behaviour

 

[skaface]

Much love to you Grandma Joan, all you can do is what you do do.

I have the opposite problem in that my mother never actually goes to bed. The Intermediate Care Team is sourcing a riser/recliner chair for her, but she won't use her delta frame so I doubt she will use a strange piece of furniture.

I'm also going to try to dig out some of her old bedding as it's been suggested to me that this may be the problem - in April she had a horrible bout of vomiting after which her bedding needed to be thrown out along with her bedroom rug (which I skidded on - yuk!), so I bought her new bedding and this, because it's unfamiliar, might be the problem. When the physio came to do her exercises with her yesterday on her bed mum kept saying "this is Annette's (me!) bed" so we kept reassuring her that it's her bed but she's still in the chair!

Trouble is with that is I don't know where it's kept and she can no longer remember where anything is.

 

[Witzend]

I think it's sometimes because a) the person feels warm, comfortable and safe in bed, warmer and safer and more comfortable than they would downstairs, and b) if you can no longer do all the things that used to keep you busy and give you an interest - cooking, shopping, gardening, knitting, doing the crossword, or whatever, what are you going to do but sit about? Maybe with just the telly for company, and you can't really follow anything on there any more.

My mother would get up in the morning, albeit later than before, but unless anyone was there she would go to bed incredibly early, even 4 or 5 pm, and I'm sure it was because she felt more comfortable there and couldn't think what else to do with herself. Mind you even if there was anybody else there she still wouldn't do anything, because her brain couldn't cope with anything more demanding than TV, but at least she wouldn't want to go to bed before about 8. Pre dementia she would hardly ever go to bed before midnight.

 

[Grandma Joan]

Thank you for all those wise words, so much common sense !

I can understand her feeling cosy & warm in her own bed, that's a nice feeling and I can't blame her for that.

We have a problem on a Wednesday though as she get's picked up by a taxi at 10.00am to go to luncheon club. She likes it there, enjoys seeing other people and having her lunch prepared for her. I have checked with the lady who runs it who says she is very happy when she is there. The problem is that we have to start phoning her about 8.00am to get her out of bed and phone half hourly thereafter. Yesterday we only just had her ready in time!

On a Friday a Home Support Worker from Alz Soc visits her to take her out for lunch but if she is still in bed she doesn't let her in, so it would be a shame for her to miss out on these events as otherwise it is sitting alone infront of the TV apart from when we are there.