1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

not eating or drinking...

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by x-lauren-x, Jun 16, 2008.

  1. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Hi, I havent posted recently because I'm currently doing my gcses and havent been on the internet much. Ive written before about my uncle and i was delighted when he went into his new care home- knowing he was safely in bed each night, eating proper meals and taking his medication and being properly looked after. But now everything seems to be going wrong, my uncles stoped eating and drinking and all he talks about is wanting to die, he asks us to get him 'a pill' to kill him and even told my mum to hold his hand because in a minute hes going to be dead. He has had an increase of anti depressants and we have been told they could take up to three weeks to work but anti depressants havent worked for him before and it seems they are not working again. Tonight he refused to eat his dinner and would only take the water with his tablets and part of a yoghurt he is so very thin. We have said we wanted him to be treated by the home if possible instead of hospital because we have been there so mnay times before and this time i dont think he would ever come out.
    sorry for a depressing post just needed to write it all down somewhere
    love lauren
  2. Charlyparly

    Charlyparly Registered User

    Nov 26, 2006
    My heart goes out to you Lauren and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

    Don't apologise for unloading - it's a good thing for you to do.
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Lauren, I'm so sorry.

    It does sound as if your uncle is depressed, but it's strange if anti-depressants aren't working. Could your mum ask the GP to try a different one, there are lots of different ones, and if one doesn't work, another one might.

    What is the home doing about it? Are they giving supplements, like Fortisip, or Fortijuice? You might be able to persuade him to drink one of those, and each one has the calories of a full meal. Do ask about them.

    I think you're right to have him treated in the home, I've said the same for John. It can be so disturbing for people to be moved about.

    Take care, and let us know how it goes. How are the exams going?

  4. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Thank you for your replies :) i have just told my mum about the drinks so we will ask at the home tomorrow- they have all been fantastic there and have tried to tempt my uncle with lots of different things, theyve also been very supportive and kind to us.
    We have asked for the doctor to and visit tomorrow and he says he will review my uncles medication. He was on an antipsychotic because he had such terrible nightmares and became very aggressive and they do see to have worked, he is much calmer but now much much more depressed. me and my dad have been taking him out at weekends, just into town for a coffee but now even this has become difficult, people stare and although it doesnt bother me i feel it does upset my uncle because hes embarrassed with us trying to help him. When hes not eating i find myself getting really fustrated and annoyed,i know its not his fault its just so horrible to watch him self destuct and not being able to do anything to stop or help him. But, we will try the drinks and wait and see what tomorrow brings with the doctor- hopefully this will help. tomorrow is another day :)
    the exams are going ok thanks- just psychology left now!
    thanks again
    lauren xx
  5. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Lauren
    Just to wish you the very best of luck for tomorrow.
    Best wishes
  6. citybythesea

    citybythesea Registered User

    Mar 23, 2008
    coast of texas
    dear lauren,

    Have read your posts and it comes to mind for me as to where he actually stands in his disease. Mom was head first in stage 7 for several months and I documented everything she ate so that I could see what she was eating. We had days her lips pursed so tight I wondered if she knew what was going on. What was explained to me is that this is a part of the later stages. The appetite starts to go and slowly the want for drink also. Mom existed for over 4 months on a diet of trying to get 1000 calories into her a day. We had hits and misses and some days we actually hit way above 1000 calories. My suggestion to you would to maybe try to encourage him to eat with something sweet. I hate to admit it but the last really good thing she ate for me was a banana split made with soft bananas. Devoured it all for me with no problem and when it came to her drinking I could always get fruit flavored water down her.

    I'm sorry if it is AD or depression or both, but with an AD patient sometimes medicating isn't the best way to go and sometimes it is the only way, but I am sure the home has some sweets that he could be plyed with.

    Just a thought my daughter would go in moms room after school with her snack and share it with her. Mom didn't know who she was but she felt special and sometimes all it needs is a little extra attention.


  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Lauren, I believe the GP can prescribe the Fortisip, so it's worth your mum asking him tomorrow, if the home doesn't already have it.

    Good luck with the psychology tomorrow!

  8. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    Re: FortiSips

    I'm having a similar problem with my Mum, after a mouthful or two she just loses interest. As for drinking, it's a nightmare. She just does not want to drink fluids in anything like an adequate quantity to avoid dehydration.

    I asked our GP for a prescription for some sort of fortified food/drinks, and he came up with a Fortisips Range Starter Pack which comprises 10 bottles of various flavours fruit flavour drinks and milkshake type products. They are nearly all very sweet & generally Mum didn't like them. However, I did find that I could sneak some into her diet by thickening up the milkshakes with cornflour to make a sort of blancmange. Others I made 50/50 with jelly, but you have to pick mild flavours as the Fortisips fruit flavours are quite strong.

    Good luck!
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    They do this at John's NH, Lynne. There's also a powder that they use in cakes, etc.

    I only discovered this after the staff had been giving me spare puddings when I was feeding John!:eek:

    I decline all offers now!
  10. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hazel, obviously they felt you needed something to keep your strength up too! Don't knock it!
  11. salacious

    salacious Registered User

    May 25, 2008
    west midlands
    hey lauren. so sorry to hear about ur uncle, and thank u for ur post on my thread. it meant a lot. my mothers father, my grandad also had alzheimers and died at 54, and he also stopped eating. do not worry yourself too much. i know this sounds terrible, but after a while my grandad couldnt remember speaking about it, he had eventually forgot that he had been making this plea. im not saying this will happen with ur uncle, as people react differently with this disease. but please remember that with time you will start to accept these changes and it will help with the coping. much luck, and please send a message if u need to talk.
  12. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    thank you very muchfor the advice- my mum is on the case with the fortisip/fortijuice and so we will try out a few different reipies like the blamanche as you suggested :)even just having a few mouthfuls/sips would definatly be better than nothing at all.

    also, sara-thanks for your post- hopefully like you have experienced, if we can get my uncle feeling a bit happier he will start to forget or move on from talking about wanting to die. good luk today :) leave a post if u need to talk :) xxxx
  13. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Just a quick update... the home has put my uncle on Complan apparently its a food supplement in a milkshake sort of thing to go with food. They didnt go for the Fruitisip yet because they said they want to try and encourage him to eat whilst he still can- so we are hoping this will help! Hes still really down and gets really irritated by us sometimes which can be a bit upsetting, but the care home staff are fabulous and are really helping us- they make sure we leave with a smile on our faces :)
    hope you are all ok :)
    love lauren xxx
  14. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Hi Lauren, it is really good to read that the staff are doing something specific about your uncle's non eating. Complan is very good and has been tried and tested for years. Hope it has the desired effect.

    Staff like that are priceless, especially as they are caring for your uncle so well. Thank you for the update Lauren.

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