Not eating or drinking much and sleeping all day

[NatzG]

Hi, my mum has mixed dementia diagnosed around 5 years ago (probably had it for at least a year before diagnosis). She is 76.
She lives with me and my husband with me being her full time carer.
She has recently got very unstable on her feet, is doubly incontinent, is unable to string a sentence together that makes any sense, is talking to people who aren't there and is now not eating or drinking enough to keep a bird alive and sleeping up to 20 hours a day.
Does anybody have any suggestions on how to get fluid/food in her. Or what to feed her to give her the best nutrients.
She seems to have deteriorated very quickly over the last 6 months. Am a bit scared to ask this but is mum coming to end of life?
Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated.

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to TP @NatzG
Try high calorie, sweet foods ie rice pudding with cream. Ice lollies are good for getting liquids in.
You could also try jelly drops https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/blog/jelly-drops-sweets-tackle-dehydration-dementia
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

[mickeyplum]

My husband has just recovered from a urine infection which needed him to be in hospital for 10 days. He was dehydrated cos I could never persuade him to drink enough. Back home and I'm back to square one trying to bully him almost, into drinking. He is eating Ok and not much trouble swallowing there. Could this aversion to drinking with dementia be caused by a fear of choking I wonder.
I have just ordered load of smoothie, milkshakes, and fruit cordial in the hope I will fnf something that he can take willingly. Watch this space!

 

[Alice nun]

My husband is now in the same situation sadly And sleeps all the time. I give him complan drink and cream and full fat milk in anything he may eat which is also very little food. Mash and soups added cream and butter. I also found jelly drops which are very easy to eat and full of water that are brilliant.
It’s very hard to watch as his now bed bound in a hospital bed at home. X

 

[Sueperzoom]

Your mum sounds very similar to my dad. Our gp referred us to a dietician and she prescribed a powder that you mix with full fat milk. It's a bit like a milk shake and is full of vitamins etc. He's a bit hit and miss as to whether he'll have it but when he drinks it regularly his weight increases. I basically encourage him to eat whenever he's awake. He will sit at the table and eat with us most of the time but then I constantly top him up with a cup of tea and a biscuit or some other full fat goody he used to enjoy. He's always offered pudding after meals (even though this isn't something we would have normally done). Anything to get his calorie intake up!

As for the sleeping, dad goes through stages of sleeping all the time but then he has periods of being on the go constantly (even through the night). I'm not sure where he finds the energy! Sometimes it's hard to tell if dad is actually asleep or if he just has his eyes closed because he'll sometimes try and eat or walk about the room without even opening his eyes!

I hope you are coping ok. It's so hard to see them like this isn't and is always hard to know what is the right thing to do and when you should be speaking to gp. X

 

[lollyc]

My Mum was eating well until 27th December, although I suspect swallowing was starting to be a problem. She also started sleeping a lot. Over the next few days her eating and drinking decreased and decreased, and she died on New Year's Eve.
I can honestly say I did not expect the end to come so quickly. Dementia is just impossible to predict, even when you think you've got a handle on where things are going.

 

[canary]

Oh my goodness, Im so sorry to hear that @lollyc
xx

 

[lollyc]

Oh my goodness, Im so sorry to hear that @lollyc
xx

Thank you @canary . A whole mix of emotions, of course, but the biggest is relief.

 

[canary]

Thank you @canary . A whole mix of emotions, of course, but the biggest is relief.

yes, I understand
xx

 

[Shedrech]

Sad news @lollyc

Although we expect it at some time, somehow the end when it actually comes is unexpected and a shock ... though I understand that feeling of relief that your mum is now free of dementia, and, if I dare say it, you are no longer having to worry for her

Be kind to yourself

 

[Alice nun]

Sorry for your lose lollyc

 

[Sarasa]

So sorry to hear that @lollyc .

 

[jennifer1967]

sorry for your loss @lollyc hope she is now a peace.

 

[Sueperzoom]

My Mum was eating well until 27th December, although I suspect swallowing was starting to be a problem. She also started sleeping a lot. Over the next few days her eating and drinking decreased and decreased, and she died on New Year's Eve.
I can honestly say I did not expect the end to come so quickly. Dementia is just impossible to predict, even when you think you've got a handle on where things are going.

So very sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs. X

 

[Melles Belles]

So sorry to hear about your mum @lollyc. Thinking of you.

 

[Bunpoots]

I’m sorry @lollyc . My dad left us rather unexpectedly shortly before Christmas 3 years ago. I remember the feelings of shock, relief and surreality. Thinking of you.

 

[lollyc]

Thank you all for your kind words.

It was not my intention to take over this thread (although that seems to have happened) but rather to explain to @NatzG that end of life is so difficult to predict.
Dementia is cruel on so many levels.

 

[purpledaffodil]

Sorry for your loss Lollyc. What a shock for it to happen so fast at the end.

NatzG your Mum sounds very list mine. She also sleeps most of the time and hardly eats or drinks. Her CH have got her - via GP - on various fortified drinks. I think you just by them from pharmacies. There is Ensure which are like milk shakes, or Fortijus which is fruit juice. Packed with extra calories. My mum doesn’t much like the taste of either which is a different struggle

I’d just otherwise echo the good advice on this thread. Stop worrying about all the healthy eating stuff and focus on getting calories in her. Full fat milk, cream, butter all those things we normally avoid you can now load up on. Sweets things seem to work well. I’m sure I read somewhere that that is quite common. There is def something with my Mum where her sense of taste has changed due to the dementia and we’ve had to adapt.

 

[Grahamfox1?]

Hi, my mum has mixed dementia diagnosed around 5 years ago (probably had it for at least a year before diagnosis). She is 76.
She lives with me and my husband with me being her full time carer.
She has recently got very unstable on her feet, is doubly incontinent, is unable to string a sentence together that makes any sense, is talking to people who aren't there and is now not eating or drinking enough to keep a bird alive and sleeping up to 20 hours a day.
Does anybody have any suggestions on how to get fluid/food in her. Or what to feed her to give her the best nutrients.
She seems to have deteriorated very quickly over the last 6 months. Am a bit scared to ask this but is mum coming to end of life?
Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated.

My Mums Dementia suddenly worsened after she developed Pnuemonia if there is any illness it often causes dementia symptoms to become more severe so maybe a check over by doctor might give more peice of mind first, Refusing food is commonplace and has been a big battle for us , Mum often claiming to have just eaten when she hadnt , Drinking also became a issue often leaving drinks or claiming they were cold when freshly made , We were advised to use small plates for food and to try to make the portions look small , Mum had always been a sensible eater for many years then suddenly developed a sweet tooth and mainly ate trifles ,toffees etc something she had never done much before, She also started hiding meals when left unattended we found them in the oven, freezer or simply put in the dustbin , The doctor prescribed supplements to help but mum tried to refuse these as well.

 

[Cat27]

My Mums Dementia suddenly worsened after she developed Pnuemonia if there is any illness it often causes dementia symptoms to become more severe so maybe a check over by doctor might give more peice of mind first, Refusing food is commonplace and has been a big battle for us , Mum often claiming to have just eaten when she hadnt , Drinking also became a issue often leaving drinks or claiming they were cold when freshly made , We were advised to use small plates for food and to try to make the portions look small , Mum had always been a sensible eater for many years then suddenly developed a sweet tooth and mainly ate trifles ,toffees etc something she had never done much before, She also started hiding meals when left unattended we found them in the oven, freezer or simply put in the dustbin , The doctor prescribed supplements to help but mum tried to refuse these as well.

Welcome to TP @Grahamfox1?