I haven't had a chance to contribute to the site for a while as things seem to be so hectic at the moment. I think my family and I are pretty much feeling as though we're not coping at the moment and don't know what to do. We've been decorating in our second lounge for the past three months and so we've all been stuck in one room together for this period, with my Nan (who hasn't left the house in months) watching television and me, my sister and our partners trying to do University work and my parents trying to have some rest after work! I think we're all at boiling point (except my Nan) although hopefully we'll get the other room back soon which will hopefully help. Things seem to be getting more and more difficult with my Nan. We now have an occupational therapist as our only point of contact so we've been blessing her with all our troubles. The only problem is that all she seems to advise are solutions that no longer work - leaving notes etc. Has anyone else had this problem? My Nan has been given pads for her incontinence problems but will NOT wear them. She prefers to use toilet roll instead and no-one knows what to do about it. Does anyone have any suggestions? The occupational therapist is taking my Nan to our local Alz society day centre tomorrow for the first time, and no-one is mentioning this to my Nan as she gets so distressed when she's asked if she wants to go anywhere. My Mum's brother (who doesn't visit) advised my Mum to explain to my Nan that she needed a break and ask her if she would go into respite so that my parents could go on holiday - they haven't been away for three years - and my Nan just gave random answers. She stated that she didn't have enough money to go and that she needed a holiday too. We're all worried what will happen tomorrow. We had to fill in a daily living activities scale for the occupational therapist the other day and we realised that my Nan can barely do anything for herself any longer. In a conversation with my Mum the other day, she revealed that she doesn't know how many children she has, doesn't know what relation my Mum is to her, and doesn't know what relation me and my sister are either. I think the problem is that, because she has vascular dementia, her social skills and scripts for different situations have remained largely intact, which means that when people arrive to the house, she appears far "better" than she really is. She cannot actually participate in a conversation, but she is still able to reproduce obvious statements to these people. I'm sorry to go on for so long but I feel as though there's no one else to talk to! As vascular dementia progresses through mini-strokes we could be dealing with this for years yet.