Hi all
Haven't been on since mum died back in March. I was busy at first, things to do, funeral etc. When I first got back home I was fine - knew where I was going, what I had to do etc. But then I just fell into this dark hole and I can't seem to get out of it.
At first I couldn't seem to get any help but then out of the blue, someone held out a hand. Now I'm having counselling and go along to a bereavement morning when I feel up to it.
I don't know if what I'm feeling is grief or depression. I feel so lonely, everyone's gone now - parents, the kids. I just don't see a future, well not a future like this. Can't do anything, can't sleep - hence the time of this message. I'm bawling my eyes out as I write this.
It's so stupid I know, on one level I have a lot of self-awareness but on another level I'm feeling all negative and fully understand this is not good for me.
I had such plans for when I finally reached this stage of my life (no one else to think about) but the reality has turned out to be nothing like the dream.
Just needed to talk.
ellie
Haven't been on since mum died back in March. I was busy at first, things to do, funeral etc. When I first got back home I was fine - knew where I was going, what I had to do etc. But then I just fell into this dark hole and I can't seem to get out of it.
At first I couldn't seem to get any help but then out of the blue, someone held out a hand. Now I'm having counselling and go along to a bereavement morning when I feel up to it.
I don't know if what I'm feeling is grief or depression. I feel so lonely, everyone's gone now - parents, the kids. I just don't see a future, well not a future like this. Can't do anything, can't sleep - hence the time of this message. I'm bawling my eyes out as I write this.
It's so stupid I know, on one level I have a lot of self-awareness but on another level I'm feeling all negative and fully understand this is not good for me.
I had such plans for when I finally reached this stage of my life (no one else to think about) but the reality has turned out to be nothing like the dream.
Just needed to talk.
ellie