1. jelba

    jelba Registered User

    Aug 1, 2012
    146
    Huddersfield
    Since mum came out of hospital it's been harder for me working 5 days then spend weekend with mum down home. Now she harder to feed due to her recent lung infection. Dad had a pacemaker fitted and no longer can do what he used to my standard at work has dropped because of all this stress thinking about going to doctors as was told once that I might suffer from anxiety thanks
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,564
    Yorkshire
    #2 Shedrech, Jun 23, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2019
    hi @jelba
    a good idea to have a chat with your own GP, you must take care of your own health and welfare ...trite to say, I know, but true nontheless
    also, there is an Admiral Nurse in your area, give them a call as they are there to help the carer, even if the person you care for is in a different location
    https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/find-an-admiral-nurse/
    you need to take a break, could you visit your parents every other weekend and arrange extra care for them for the days you can't go
    to be honest, given your situation, how your dad is and your mum's decline, I wonder whether it's time to consider a respite stay at least, so both you and your dad can assess what's happening

    sorry just looked at your previous posts, and your mum is in residential care
    so she is looked after, and though I appreciate you want to visit her and your dad, to see how he is, it would be possible to miss a weekend visit ... and maybe arrange some home care for your dad, so he isn't trying to keep up with household chores as well as look after himself and visit your mum, then you might not be so concerned about him
     
  3. jelba

    jelba Registered User

    Aug 1, 2012
    146
    Huddersfield
    I live with my dad who 72 and is starting to get forgetful as well only had two days to myself this year so far mum seems more happy when I come to see her
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,643
    Female
    South coast
    I can appreciate that you want to keep everyone happy, but you only have a certain number of hours a week and sometimes it is just not possible to fit everything in.
    If your standard of work is beginning to drop this shows that you cant cope with it all (as the title of your thread says).
    No-one can magically produce more time and this lack of time is what is causing the stress.
    You will have to prioritise your time
    What is necessary? Do you need your job? What can be delegated to other people? Do you have to do cooking/housework or can you get someone else in to do it? Could your dad have befrienders to keep an eye on him when you are not there? What tasks can be reduced? If you can get someone else to do something, then do.

    Im just throwing out suggestions here, but if you dont ditch some things then your health will suffer and you wont be able to do anything,
     
  5. Rach1985

    Rach1985 Registered User

    Jun 9, 2019
    360
    I agree with @canary you can’t just keep going as you are as you might make yourself seriously ill then what would you do? Something is going to have to give. My dad is 72 as well and me and my mum are able to share the duties right now thankfully
    Go to your gp and see what support they can give to you personally then also see if you can get any help from SS regarding your Dad.
    Also speak to your work, can you reduce hours? Or is there anyone who can help reduce the load?
     

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