Not been here for a while, an update

[Scoop]

Hi all,

First posted here about a year ago about my dad, been a while and how things change.. Went away with my parents a month ago and it was a real shocker of how much worse my Dad is. He was diagnosed with a vascular based dementia back in March after a particularly torrid few episodes and put on memantine ( And Olanzapine for any aggression). For a while this really gave a boost but that only lasts for so long and doesn't stop it getting worse.

There have been good days and bad days but on the good side my parents have moved close by, they are about a 1 1/3 minute walk - quicker when I run ( Only done that twice so far )

He has just been prescribed some sleeping tablets now as after 5 nights on the trot of not much sleep my Mum was pretty shattered - wish she'd shout sooner!

Bad day today.... Mum called in tears not able to cope with him, went round as soon as I could and it was like he was a completely different person, Didn't know who Mum was even though she was sat right there, his wife of 40 years was "just up the road" apparently Things started to get a bit heated in the end as much as we tried not to - I'm sure others have been there! So in the end we seemd unable to crack him out of it I told mum to get the Olanzapine. She gave him that with his normal dose of memantine and after about an hour while eating dinner he said "that woman's gone now" and we seem to come back to a near normal ( if you can ever call it that ) Just spoken to Mum he is fitgety but calmer...

Very stressful few hours for all involved ( It had been going on for a few hours before Mum called - she hates to trouble me!) Did make me think though who on earth do you call at 5pm on a Sunday if you can't deal with it, and nothing is working? He was really determined to just leave at several points..

Will speak to the community nurse tomorrow and ask that one, I really don't know... he didn't like the idea of being taken to the hospital I can tell you

I don't really know how much longer Mum can last with him at home, she is determined not to put him in a home or even day care for as long as she can but when is that, when do ou draw the line? She is only happy leaving him with me currently, can be hard finding time to give her a good break..

Life sucks sometimes!

Scott - Completely drained tonight, can't imagine how my Mum feels Was great getitng a cuddle from the kids though when I got home - nearly had me in tears!

 

[jenniferpa]

Hi Scott and welcome back to TP.

As to who you can call - it's going to depend on where you are to certain extent Some people have found emergency social services to be great, and others, well not so much. NHS Direct comes to mind as well. There's all really medical responses (not unreasonably becasue it's amedical problem) but if he refuses to go to the hospital they're left with only one option really and that's sectioning, which isn't ideal.

I'm wondering if you should ask the doctor if you shouldn't be giving the olanzapine on a more regular basis, rather than as a rescue remedy. I understand there are downsides to that, but it might be something to consider.

Did he really think your mother was someone else? That sounds like a bit like Capgrass Syndrome (where the person thinks that their nearest and dearest have been replaced with exact replicas).

How very fortunate that they are easily accessible, even if your mother seems to hold out to the bitter end. Has she had a carer's assessment and does she get any "me" time?

 

[rhallacroz]

Difficult times

Hi Scott
Sounds just like my weekend with my dad who also has vascular dementia. Except he has now got a chest infection and has gone really confused over the weekend. Can;t walk and is dreadful. Its so hard to deal with you.
I didn;t know there where any drugs that could be given for vascular dementia do they help. We had to resort to some sedation on thursday and friday because he was so restless and getting up my mum is also 83 and finds it hard work. We were given a sedative but to be honest he was so much worse the next day I wondered if it was worth it. Although I am not there in the evening. I have left it off tonight and hope that he sleeps.
Keep smiling it s not easy but your not alone.
Take care
Angela

 

[Scoop]

Hi Scott
Sounds just like my weekend with my dad who also has vascular dementia. Except he has now got a chest infection and has gone really confused over the weekend. Can;t walk and is dreadful. Its so hard to deal with you.
I didn;t know there where any drugs that could be given for vascular dementia do they help. We had to resort to some sedation on thursday and friday because he was so restless and getting up my mum is also 83 and finds it hard work. We were given a sedative but to be honest he was so much worse the next day I wondered if it was worth it. Although I am not there in the evening. I have left it off tonight and hope that he sleeps.
Keep smiling it s not easy but your not alone.
Take care
Angela

I don't think memantine is officially classed as a drug for treatment of vascualr dememntia but the consultant said they had seen some good benefits from using it. It certainly has made a difference for my dad, he couldn't get more than 2 or 3 words together before hand but after could do a lot better, the consultant noticed a big difference.

Well my dad is back to normal this morning, apart from the 2am wake up and deciding it was time to get up, he went to bed at 8 last night - guess the Olanzapine knocked him out but I guess 6 hours kip was enough! So mum is tired again but he is back to normal.

The everyday stuff mum seems to cope with, vagueness, confusion, needing help to dress/undress, Shoes on and off all the time... it's when he snaps into this other world of his we struggle, Olanzapine did seem to sort it though so I will confirm a few things today with the Nurse/consultant..

Thnan ks for listening, felt good just writing it down...