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No sign of a hospital discharge date - Can I discharge my dad myself

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by WORRIER123, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. WORRIER123

    WORRIER123 Registered User

    Oct 1, 2015
    1,174
    My father has been in hospital since June with slurred speech, back pain and loss of mobility.
    Only last week did they diagnose dementia of an unknown kind !

    His speech is much better (could be better but hospital have lost his dentures) His back pain is gone and apart from some confusion and frustration which are triggered by incidents in the ward ie way nurses talk to him and act, he is not medically ill.

    As his mobility is not as it is (he can stand up himself and walk with a frame quite quickly) the OT Team and nurses think he is at a risk of falls (after sitting for 3 months with no exercise this isn't helping and he is determined)
    I have pushed the OT Team and Social Services for his discharge but its dragging as they are putting a care package together (4 weeks now)
    What are the consequences if I demand to take dad home (he lives with me) and look after him until they can get their act together
    Dad is getting frustrated, visiting is draining me so I think I can better manage with him with me at home for the moment ?
    Thanks anyone
     
  2. Rodelinda

    Rodelinda Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    172
    Suffolk
    I can't answer your questions I'm afraid but does the hospital have a specialist dementia care team? If so, it would be worth getting them involved. Ditto the consultant; perhaps talking to PALS and also the Alzheimers support line It must be very frustrating for you and your Dad but if it were me I would be pushing the various teams, but I don't think I would do anything precipitous as you and your Dad are likely to need increasing amounts of support and it might not be tactical to upset them. But I can understand how frustrated you both must be and hope that things get resolved soon
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    Its social services that you need to push. The hospital will be happy if you remove your dad as they will gain an extra bed! Unfortunately, the experience of people not having a care package when they are discharged is that the carer is usually left to just get on with it and if you discharge your dad yourself I think that it is likely that no care will materialise. As your dad has now been diagnosed as having dementia it is important to be known to SS. The dementia will increase over time and it is unwise to turn down help.
     
  4. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    Hi Worrier, welcome to TP
    The downside is if you do take him home "against their wishes" they'll simply desert you, that said even if they agreed they'd pretty much desert you anyway.
    If he still has capacity or you have POA then you can leave but don't expect too much co-operation from them in the future.
    I'd think through the consequences to you and the rest of the family if he goes back to your home and how it will impact on everyone. If it's do'able then do it, but please think it through first. living with someone with AZ isn't all that easy, trust me I know.
    Good luck
    K
     
  5. Bessieb

    Bessieb Registered User

    Jun 2, 2014
    108
    Hi there,

    I was in a very similar situation to you in June when my Dad was in hospital and his discharge was delayed despite the fact that he was medically well enough to leave. I was told by numerous nurses and Doctors that putting the care package together could take 'ages' and in the meantime he was getting worse and worse and more and more distressed. I know how frustrating it is.
    I would advise getting hold of the hospital social worker that has been assigned to your Dad and phoning her every day to make sure she is on the case and discussing options with you. It really can sometimes be a case of 'who shouts loudest' and whilst I know this isn't necessarily fair when you are in the situation you are in it is sometimes the only thing to do. I ended up phoning her a couple of times a day for an update and it was easier for her to speed up sorting out the solution that have her time taken up listening to me! (Not my usual style but needs must!)

    If you have POA you can discharge your Dad whenever you want to. However I was strongly advised against this for the reasons others have mentioned - SS might not be as forthcoming with help in the future if you have gone down this route and it is best to keep them on side.

    Good luck with it. Sadly I think it is a case of pushing and nagging to speed things up.
     

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