No one wants to sign Power of Attorney

[Samantha1977]

Mil has had dementia for 15 years but she's done so well. Up until a year ago she could go out and about herself. She is very mobile and eating herself. She can dress herself and pretty independent. Just the usual forgetting etc.
We have been trying to get Power of attorney as times going by she will get worse. She is happy to provide this. But...
We need a 'certificate provider' and it disgusts me no one is willing to sign it. I'm trying to tell myself it's their choice and they shouldn't be obliged. They haven't even looked into it just saying they're not sure about putting their name down on a legal document. These are people that have known us for over 20 years.
Can i just mention we are very straight forward people and have never done anything illegal and they know this. But it seems they're scared of a document sounding this legal.
Just wanted a moan. Can anyone advise me please.

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[Beate]

I had that too with one friend who refused to sign - to this day I don't know what she was afraid of, but some people just don't want any responsibility.
Friends of course make the best (and cheapest) certificate providers, but if you can't find anyone, you can try a doctor or solicitor. Obviously, the former might not want to know, and the latter will charge for the privilege.

 

[doodle1]

Any solicitor can be a certificate provider if this helps.also what about your mums gp?
So unhelpful of your friends xx

 

[Bod]

Try her GP, or Consultant. They will know what is required, If they feel it is to late, for her to understand what she's signing, then you will have to go to Deputyship route.

Bod

 

[cragmaid]

Have you tried explaining to all you ask, that they are signing is to say that Mum understands what she is asking the nominated person to do for her....they are not signing to say they will become attorney.
If you have to go through a GP/Consultant or Solicitor, there will be a financial cost, likewise if you have to follow the Deputy route. These fees come out of Mum's funds.

 

[Samantha1977]

Thank you all. I guess with finds being thought I'm sure one of our friends (mum's friends too) will be happy to help. But I guess they feel once they sign we will be illegally misusing funds (what a joke!) If only they knew that we have been using our own savings to make things better for mum. After being turned down by 3 people I feel embarrassed to even explain to them that all they're doing is certifying that they feel mum knows what power of attorney is and we are not forcefully making her sign over.

Anyway...perhaps we will just pay the fees and get it done legally.

Oh 1 friend even had the nerve to ask "does your mil and the rest of your family know you're doing this" hahahahahahah
I said ofcourse they do and I am not appointing myself. Her son (my husband) is going to have it. *shake my head* makes me sound like a right good digger. I'm a carer for heaven's sake. Not a thief.

Thank you all!

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[quennie]

we had this with mum

Hi we had this with mum her doctor would not sign it has the Medical board advises GP not to do it. so had to go to the mental health doctor at a cost of £200 for him to sign. Just received a letter today from our solicitors to say it should be completed by the 25th April. waited 4 months for this. hope this helps

 

[Samantha1977]

Thank you. I will probably ask the gp first and then ask the Alzheimer specialist that's been seeing her for 15years.

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[JMA11]

We had this problem too. In the end Mum's GP did it but charged £75.00. She did ask Mum questions to ensure she knew what was happening.

 

[Jessbow]

We had a neighbour sign.

 

[Slugsta]

Mum's GP signed the certificate for us, he charged £30/35. One of my friends then witnessed my signature (I can't remember who we got to witness Mum's but I know we didn't have to pay anyone to do it).

 

[northumbrian_k]

Reluctance to sign makes no sense at all. The Certificate Provider's role is simply to certify that the donor is aware that the LPA is being set up and that no undue pressure or fraud are being applied. Once this is done the CP has no further interest or role in how, when or for what purposes the LPA is used. For my wife (and for me) we used a friend, known to both of us for more than the requisite 2 years. Asking a third party to do it and having to pay for it seems like a very last resort.

 

[MaNaAk]

Mil has had dementia for 15 years but she's done so well. Up until a year ago she could go out and about herself. She is very mobile and eating herself. She can dress herself and pretty independent. Just the usual forgetting etc.
We have been trying to get Power of attorney as times going by she will get worse. She is happy to provide this. But...
We need a 'certificate provider' and it disgusts me no one is willing to sign it. I'm trying to tell myself it's their choice and they shouldn't be obliged. They haven't even looked into it just saying they're not sure about putting their name down on a legal document. These are people that have known us for over 20 years.
Can i just mention we are very straight forward people and have never done anything illegal and they know this. But it seems they're scared of a document sounding this legal.
Just wanted a moan. Can anyone advise me please.

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Dear Sam,

People can react very strangely to legal documents! I ended with a neighbour as my witness and dad ended up with another neighbour as his witness and her husband as certificate provider and I remember the day we did this verywell. Dad was due to see the doctor that day and I thought what a wonderful certificate provider they would be. However I then found out that the surgery would have charged £140 whereas we had paid £110 to fill in the document on the internet! Ironically the neighbours were all
retired professionals!

Good luck

MaNaAk

 

[Spamar]

I have a great arrangement with a neighbour. He signs all my stuff and I sign all his - even his brothers passport!

 

[Kevinl]

I don't know that I agreed with this thread for several reasons.
In these enlightened times we all know that if somebody says no it means no, irrespective of what the issue is we all have the right to say no to something and that should be respected. You are after all asking someone to do you a favour and it's up to them whether they want to or not and I don't feel it's for us to criticise them for that.
It could be that the people who don't want so sign have their reason; reluctance to engage in anything legal that they may not fully understand, they may feel they are betraying their friend by signing his rights over to you, they may not think you're the best or most suitable person to have the LPA, they may not feel the time is yet right for an LPA...who knows but why ever they don't want to do it that's their right and I think that should be respected.
I'd quite happily sign as a certifier unless there were some reason I believed it was the wrong thing to do as in the reasons above, that would be my decision and if I did say no then I would like that to be respected, no criticised, questioned or challenged.
K

 

[Samantha1977]

I understand Kevin hence my note at the bottom that said 'just wanted to have a moan' and I do understand they're under no obligation.
However...i am taken aback at the refusal to sign since the people I asked have been friends for over many years. And they have been actively calling and enquiring about mum and generally been quite good. So they do know mil is still capable of understanding. Mil lives with us and has been for over 10 years.

But like you said it's a favour and they're under no obligation to sign.


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[AlsoConfused]

Is your Mum involved with a faith group (eg church) - perhaps the vicar, pastor would sign?

Has your Mum been involved with a social group (eg WI, circle dancing, etc) and would any "professionals" in the group be prepared to sign as certifiers?

 

[MaNaAk]

I understand Kevin hence my note at the bottom that said 'just wanted to have a moan' and I do understand they're under no obligation.
However...i am taken aback at the refusal to sign since the people I asked have been friends for over many years. And they have been actively calling and enquiring about mum and generally been quite good. So they do know mil is still capable of understanding. Mil lives with us and has been for over 10 years.

But like you said it's a favour and they're under no obligation to sign.


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Dear Sam,

Unfortunately it sometimes takes things like this to find out who your friends really are. Mine have all been excellent although one acquaintance decided that she needed to go and talk to someone else when I first said that dad had a diagnosis!

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

I had that too with one friend who refused to sign - to this day I don't know what she was afraid of, but some people just don't want any responsibility.
Friends of course make the best (and cheapest) certificate providers, but if you can't find anyone, you can try a doctor or solicitor. Obviously, the former might not want to know, and the latter will charge for the privilege.

Dear Beate,

Doctor's charge £140!

MaNaAk

 

[Trisha4]

Our financial adviser and a colleague of his signed my husband's. Do you have any regular visits from Alzheimer's society, nurse, neighbour, church connection, home help, cleaning lady? Aren't they just witnessing her signature like witnessing a signature on a will?


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