Sorry, but just want to get this off my chest and try to reconcile my guilt. My mum has been in an EMI home for nearly 7 years and was in the final stages of Alzheimer's. Since the home changed managers a few years ago, the organisation and efficiency of the care provision has reduced and I have, at times, had cause to complain. Everytime my complaints have been dealt with, the manager has just blamed one of the members of staff and threatened not to employ them again. This week my mum died. She had taken a turn for the worse on Friday afternoon and the GP was called. The home did not inform me. The GP said that her chest infection (which was being treated with antibiotics) had worsened seriously and that the next of kin should be informed. The home did not inform me. Her condition gradually deteriorated over the course of the weekend. The home did not inform me. When she was checked on Monday morning, she was near to death. The home called out an ambulance. The home did not inform me. My mum died at 6.15am on Monday morning. The home did not inform me. I was finally contacted at 8.15am just as I was leaving for work - by the nurse in charge - not the manager. All I can remember is him telling me repeatedly to 'compose myself' as I broke down on the phone. Since Monday, the manager has telephoned me to say that she had asked the nurse in charge to contact me on Friday just as she was leaving the home. When asked why she did not call me, she said that she expected her staff to follow her instructions. She is now planning to investigate the matter further and discipline the staff member. She refused to accept responsiblity for the course of events. I am so angry about this. I was at home for most of the weekend. Our telephone has an answerphone. If they had been unable to contact me, they could have contacted my brother, who also has an answerphone. I am pleased my mother is finally at peace - free from the grips of this most terrible disease. But I did so want to be there to hold her hand as she slipped away - or at least a day or so before. Should I pursue this? Any advice appreciated.