No one to talk to or ask

[Lquisp]

I am concerned I have the beginnings of Alzheimer's disease. I am 63 and have had some increasing struggles with a certain blankness on spelling words that I have always been able to spell before. The reason I say blankness is because the quality of the forgetting is different than in the past. I have also found myself sort of unable to keep up with people's conversations from time to time if not directly participating. It just seems overwhelming. I can still do my work which is rather complex - I'm a legal assistant. And I take some writing courses and have written stories that have been praised, so my mind is still working. But I feel like potions of my brain are turning off - irreparably damaged.

I had memorized a piece of Bible scripture that I used as a prayer almost every day. It was like a part of me -- imagine the ABC song or Twinkle Twinkle. I didn't use it for a week or two and when I went to "pull it up" it was all mashed and I couldn't get it even though I am almost always able to recall those kinds of scripture if I just concentrate enough. BUT I stayed calm and went to re-memorize. However it was like I could not do it. I had to try over and over and over again, as if the slot for that scripture was irreparably damaged and would never work again and the piece didn't want to find a new spot. This is the only way to explain it.

My mind feels so sluggish. Sometimes it takes a minute to know the next step when I'm doing familiar things - even driving, although most of the time brain autopilot is working with that. But there just seems to be a longer pause for my brain between the moment of intention and reaction.

Verbally I struggle for words and often have to use the thesaurus when I had a rich and easily accessible vocabulary before. In my puzzle games I don't do as well as I have previously and never attain my past high scores.

Nevertheless, I cannot talk to my family about this as they will just blow me off saying it's nothing. They don't like to think about bad things or to believe there could be a problem.

My dad had Alzheimer's at age 53 and I'm always terrified I will get it so they will just think it's me being scared.

I have nobody to talk to or have a serious conversation with about this. And don't want to run off needlessly to the doctor as it could greatly affect any life insurance I will try to get no matter what the doctor diagnoses as that is how insurance companies are here.

I have been diagnosed as mildly anemic and have not taken my iron properly. Could that perhaps be causing it? I tend to doubt it as I have been anemic all my life and actually had worse levels.

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Lquisp
and welcome to TP
I can't offer a diagnosis - but I do know that stress and other conditions can have similar symptoms to early dementia; as can vitamin B12 deficiency - I don't know about low iron levels - so it would be worth having a chat with a medic and a blood test to see if there is a physical cause
it may be that having had a parent with Alzheimer's you particularly notice and then worry over any difficulties you notice
might you take out any life assurance you are considering and then go see a doctor?
best wishes

 

[Slugsta]

Hi and welcome to TP

I'm sorry you are experiencing these things. It sounds very frightening, especially for someone who has always been good at words and memorising things.I understand why you don't want to see your GP, but I think this will be the only way of finding out what is going on.

 

[CeliaW]

Lquisp, I have sent you a pm.

 

[jhoward]

I feel like portions of my brain are turning off
I've had that - it's a horrible feeling, isn't it? Especially when you've been used to having an effective functioning brain. The advice here about taking vitamins etc is good - exclude all possible reasons.

A good friend advised me to 'let it be' - "There's so much more to you than that aspect of braininess," she said, "and although I know that you treasure it, other people see more in you to value than just that."

Still, it's like the beauty queen losing her looks, isn't it? Tough times. "Another wretched learning opportunity" and all that.

 

[Worry1]

I understand as I see this in my husband.

I am concerned I have the beginnings of Alzheimer's disease. I am 63 and have had some increasing struggles with a certain blankness on spelling words that I have always been able to spell before. The reason I say blankness is because the quality of the forgetting is different than in the past. I have also found myself sort of unable to keep up with people's conversations from time to time if not directly participating. It just seems overwhelming. I can still do my work which is rather complex - I'm a legal assistant. And I take some writing courses and have written stories that have been praised, so my mind is still working. But I feel like potions of my brain are turning off - irreparably damaged.

I had memorized a piece of Bible scripture that I used as a prayer almost every day. It was like a part of me -- imagine the ABC song or Twinkle Twinkle. I didn't use it for a week or two and when I went to "pull it up" it was all mashed and I couldn't get it even though I am almost always able to recall those kinds of scripture if I just concentrate enough. BUT I stayed calm and went to re-memorize. However it was like I could not do it. I had to try over and over and over again, as if the slot for that scripture was irreparably damaged and would never work again and the piece didn't want to find a new spot. This is the only way to explain it.

My mind feels so sluggish. Sometimes it takes a minute to know the next step when I'm doing familiar things - even driving, although most of the time brain autopilot is working with that. But there just seems to be a longer pause for my brain between the moment of intention and reaction.

Verbally I struggle for words and often have to use the thesaurus when I had a rich and easily accessible vocabulary before. In my puzzle games I don't do as well as I have previously and never attain my past high scores.

Nevertheless, I cannot talk to my family about this as they will just blow me off saying it's nothing. They don't like to think about bad things or to believe there could be a problem.

My dad had Alzheimer's at age 53 and I'm always terrified I will get it so they will just think it's me being scared.

I have nobody to talk to or have a serious conversation with about this. And don't want to run off needlessly to the doctor as it could greatly affect any life insurance I will try to get no matter what the doctor diagnoses as that is how insurance companies are here.

I have been diagnosed as mildly anemic and have not taken my iron properly. Could that perhaps be causing it? I tend to doubt it as I have been anemic all my life and actually had worse levels.

Hello,

I just signed up for the sight and I was reading your share. My husband is 60 and I see what you are sharing in his behavior, but i think his may be worse. I know he is concerned, but is hiding some of his issues from me but I also know that he isn't aware of how much he is forgetting because he doesn't remember that he ever knew. I don't know if that makes sense, but its all very scary and hard for me. I'm 14 years younger and we have children etc. At times I don't know if I'm over reacting or under reacting. People he works with tell me his memory is not good and I know his social behavior is not always "normal" but when I took him to be tested a year or two ago they did some math stuff and said he was fine. it was like a big joke. it seems like i'm all alone in this. I hope you're not as alone as you feel and wish you all the best. I know there are scans you can have done to check for shrinkage and this may be what you need to do to get your answer. my husband says he is fine. i think we are both afraid to go find out as their isn't much they can do. we own a business and this is my biggest concern; running it etc.

 

[jhoward]

It's worth getting a diagnosis, as there are meds which can improve things and slow down the progress. But I agree it's pretty scary (not to mention infuriating!)

I have had a struggling kind of day, seeing old friends for lunch, picking up meds from chemist - all of which began to seem too much as a fog began in my brain. Blessings on my daughter who saw me through it and kept me more or less sane.