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No nursing home availability - what now?

Deedee17

New member
Jun 26, 2019
1
After 3,5 years of looking after my mother at home after a major stroke left her physically incapacitated she has now developed vascular dementia and has been assessed as not having capacity. The consultant advised that she would be better in a nursing home and I fully agree. She no longer believes her home is her home and is trapped in a chair all day, sometimes unable even to remember how to change channel on the tv! I work more than full time and have complex family issues myself. She has no one but me, as all other family and friends are thousands of miles away. I have reached burnout point and am no longer coping. I have just been informed that there are no suitable beds available in approximately a 40 mile radius, and no prospect of anything becoming available. What on earth can I do? I’m in Northern Ireland, so system works a little differently to England, I believe...
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,230
Yorkshire
hello @Deedee17
a warm welcome to DTP
what a worry for you

as you are in NI something on this page may be of help
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-us/northern-ireland

There should be some way to arrange home care visits and day care .. might you ask your mother's doctor for a referral, and contact her local council, their website should have some information
at least having home care in place would give you a break from providing all her care

can you at least put your mother's name on the waiting list of any nursing homes you think suitable, then I guess it's a wait for a place

we do have members on DTP from NI .. might you add a general location to your profile so it's clear to members when they look at any of your posts, and those from NI might be able to offer specific suggestions
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,287
As Shedrech as said, can in-home care be provided for your mother? Could you also ask them to search for placements further away? It sounds as if she urgently needs nursing care, the location is a secondary consideration. This must be so difficult for you, I hope you get a resolution.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
880
High Peak
I worry we'll be coming across this situation much more in the future - a sign of things to come perhaps.

I do hope you find somewhere suitable for your mum very soon - it must be terrrible to be told there are no beds. What the heck are you supposed to do?