Hi flowerlover, welcome to TP. My mum has had dementia for over 7 years and is looked after in her own home by live-in carers. When she first came home from hospital in January 2008 her mobility was poor and she was underweight, so it took her a while to get her strength back. She thought she would be safest in her bed whereas actually she needed to mobilise much more. She was fearful of falling and was having to adjust to strangers living in her house. Naturally her bedroom was her sanctuary, as it still is.
Once she was no longer convalescent, she still used to pretend to be feeble in order to get out of doing what she needed to do to keep active. She was good at feigning illness in order to get her carers to bring her drinks and meals in bed. I eventually had to put a total ban on this. If she wanted a meal she had to get up. She could have water but not hot drinks because she had several incidents of spills and scalds. If she complained that she couldn't get up because she had a headache she got paracetemol and BIG glass of water.
The paracetemol and water would deal with the headache, real or imaginary. She would then need to go to the bathroom within half an hour because of the big glass of water. The carer would go into her bedroom when she heard the toilet flush in the en suite. Then the carer would block her path back to bed and say "Oh good, you're up now, let's get you dressed and then you can have your coffee in the lounge."
If my mum tried to dodge round to get to her bed the carer would whip the duvet off and fling the window open, say something like "let's get this stuffy room aired now you're up", or anything else to maintain the momentum and make the bed look less warm and cosy.
If my mum got cross and insisted on going to bed the carer would cajole her. She would say she was sorry she didn't feel well enough to get up when such a lovely lunch was being prepared. Lunch described. Bedroom door left open so she could smell the food.
My mum isn't mobile enough now to keep escaping back to bed when your back is turned, as she used to. She spends a lot of time in bed but needs to be kept mobile too. She gets up for breakfast, not yet dressed. She then goes back to bed and is got up, washed and dressed, around 11am. She returns to bed at 2pm. She is got up at 5pm and goes to bed for the night at 8pm. She is now 90 years old, BTW. She does need a lot of rest at her age and with chronic heart failure.