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No Longer Careing


Registered User
Sep 16, 2004
I haven’t posted for a long time, bad time.
I no longer care for my husband he got to violent with me it was not safe.
Well he went into a home, they are doing their best with him it is difficult to keep everyone safe.
Well all his money goes for his care, he is aloud to keep some pocket money. My carers allowance stopped, I am now on job seekers any tips on how I run a three bed house and feed myself on £57 a week? I found a little job, they tell me I can only keep £5 of what I earn.
Sorry I’m feeling down at the moment.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Anne,
So sorry to hear how difficult things are. I'm sorry, I know nothing about the situation you find yourself in, but I am sure others may be able to help soon. The good thing is your husband is in a safe place, and you are safe now too, once you find a way to sort out the financial difficulties.
Take care,


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Hi Anne, so sorry that things have got to this state. Think of you often.

Does not seem right somehow your situation, try Norman's advice. Maybe H.O. will be able to help. Chin up sweetheart, we are all routing for you.

Much love,

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Anne54 said:
I found a little job, they tell me I can only keep £5 of what I earn.
Sorry I’m feeling down at the moment.
Sorry? Why on Earth should you be saying sorry?
Feel down, feel angry, feel anything you like...... but please don't apologise....

Just sending a huge hug for now ...

Love, Karen, x


Registered User
Oct 15, 2005
Hi Anne

I can only echo Norman's advice, but would also say, 'Have you seen your doctor on your own behalf?'. Please do, it maybe that you need some time to come to terms with not caring fulltime for your husband and that's not conducive to job hunting.......:( . One other thought is contact your local citizen's advice bureau, they are usually very good at sorting out information on benefit entitlements.
Take care
Hugs {{{}}}


Registered User
Sep 16, 2004
Thank-you all
I have been in contact with wellfare rights, and my Doctor, my blood presher is up a bit, what a suprise!
Believe it or not I am getting all the help I am entitled to.


Registered User
May 5, 2005
south wales
Anne I just feel so angry and frustrated for you!

David too is becoming aggressive and I am going through such a bad time at the minute.

You sent a PM to me last year and I found your message so very helpful, thank you for that.

A friend gave me a copy of ??Woman's Weekly?? with your article in it a long while back, so why don't you contact them and see if you can do an up-date of your story??? Highlight how awful your situation is.

Big hug Anne, David is still waiting for his place at Mabon House, had no contact from them or anyone offering me help since last September!!

Love, and hugs from Katie


Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
Hi Anne,
I am speachless at the predicament you are in! The US has similar policies but allows the spouse to keep a car, a house and a portion of income outside of that. Before that went into place spouses were finding themselves impoverished if the government helped with care. I have often thought you had a better system for caring for the AD patient because we have no social services to help with anything but long term care and only that comes when you meet strict financial rules. That is why everyone keeps theri AD sufferer home as long as possible.
It sounds like you have no choice in the matter. Have you seen an attorney for financial advice? One that does estate planning might have some suggestions. I am grasping here for ideas as I don't know your system at all. Just know I feel awful for you and wish you the best.


Registered User
Sep 16, 2004
Thanks again, I am feeling a bit better today. I have got a job interveiw next Tuesday with Crossroads. If I get it I will be sitting with children so it won't remind me of my husband all the time and I can keep doing the crossing patrole, which I love.


Registered User
Feb 14, 2005
Please remember to apply for Housing Benefit. With that income you will be entitled to help with council tax ,morgage or rent. Dont delay as benefit only applies from the date of receipt of application.
Hope this helps.


Registered User
May 14, 2006
No longer caring

Dear Ann, I think you have been badly let down by the authorities. Is there anyone in your family who can help. If you have a large house, would it be possble to let a room or take in an English language student for the summer holiday? My thoughts are with you and I hope you find a solution to your problems soon.
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