no longer asks to go home..

[candymostdandy@]

Mum has lived with us for 3 years, and at times when I thought my husband couldn't take much more I would say

"you know as she gets worse it will get easier for you"

well that time has come, for 5 weeks now she has been bed bound, after a battle getting NHS funding, its now working well with two carers three times a day.

Besides the usual colourful language when the carers are washing her and moving her in bed, she is content.

She will verbally abuse the carers but once they have finished she say "thank you very much, bye bye"...


She was on maximum dosage of promazine, but still hyper and agressive at time, now on a quater of the dosage and she is calm..



so even though she is still at home with us, the pressure is off the rest of the family, and as long as someone is at home I am able to go out for a while as I know that she can't escape and won't need help going to the toilet..

Surrounded by family photos, with music of pavarotti to listen to, she manages to manouvre herself so that her legs hang over the cot sides, and she has a look of contentment on her face..

she no longer wants to go home...

 

[BeckyJan]

Your post touches me. I cannot say more except I hope your Mum continues in peace and contentment with you and your family.

My husband now talks about 'not being at home' - perhaps I should be thankful that is 'where he is'.

Was the 'bed bound' bit a fairly quick downturn or were you expecting it? It concerns me that my husband is on the verge of this.
Best wishes Jan

 

[candymostdandy@]

The carer got her up as usual but she was concerned as mum was bent over so asked me to help. As I was supporting her from behind her legs just folded under her. We managed to get her up and back to bed, and she hasn't been out of it since.

We have tried but she wasn't even able to sit on the side of the bed let alone get up. We had hoped to get her up and sit her in a wheelchair for a while before going back to bed, but even that wasn't possible, and anything we tried to do with her distressed her even more, so there is no point.

She used to call for her Mother, which I used to find quite distressing, but even that has stopped.

 

[Lynne]

Bitter-sweet, isn't it.
As things go from one stage to another, we find we miss the very things which used to drive us crazy!